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20 august 2017


We’ve all heard stories of people getting laid off due to budgetary setbacks, unforeseen economic conditions, and [insert lame euphemism here]. Rarely however, do we hear tales of bosses so infuriated that they skip the pleasantries altogether and simply say ‘you’re fired.’  While most employers will go out of their way to sever ties cleanly, sometimes one can be so infuriating that all the stops get pulled. These are some of the situations in which you’re almost guaranteed to call down the wrath of your boss.

1. Abusing Petty Cash Funds

Many Companies have lock boxes with so-called ‘petty cash’ which can be used for random day-to-day expenses that come up. The advent of this system was largely before credit cards and digital goods made such a large composition of work-related expenses. However, these funds are still used by many businesses to allow employees the ability to purchase needed office supplies, a last minute client request, or even some takeout for an office celebration. Dipping into your office’s petty cash fund for non-office items such as your lunch can signal a sense of such disrespect you might get the boot.

2. Unwanted Romantic Advances

Unfortunately, this is a facet of modern life that many have to deal with. The incident rate of this issue is majorly skewed towards advances by men upon women—as such is often the social norm. While some office romances may flourish from such initiation, oftentimes these advances create awkward tensions and disrupt daily workflows. If you are make such an advance towards a co-worker (not in a sexual-harassment kind of way) and are denied, it’s best to take your medicine and walk away. For those cases where you might continue making advances, upper level management is often motivated to step in. After all, no boss cares about your love life as much as their bottom line.

3. Using a Fake Doctor’s Excuse

There are times in all of our lives when unforeseen events pop up and we have to deal with them. These can be sicknesses, relatives, special occasions, or last minute preparations for events, among many other things. For those that are given a fixed number of personal days per year, once you hit you’re limit you risk losing pay if you miss any more time off work. An exception to this is for sick leave, in which no one should be expected to work. Many are tempted to call in sick as an excuse to miss work for recreational purposes. This is ill-conceived in many cases, but ultimately effective for workplaces that don’t require documentation. Even if you get caught faking sick for work—you can at least argue such a case that establishes reasonable doubt in your bosses mind. If you’re using a fake doctor’s note however, and get caught, there’s no hiding your intention there. The only reasonable explanation in this case would be that you’re not sick enough to spend money on the doctor, but you didn’t want to get your co-workers sick. It’s a Hail Mary, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures.