eBay Scam. Sane or Not. Store Hours Store Map Directions Call Us Contact Us View Full Site (Flash) Legal. The Egg. Author's Note: The Egg is also available in the following languages: The Egg By: Andy Weir You were on your way home when you died. It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. And that’s when you met me. “What… what happened?” “You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. “There was a… a truck and it was skidding…” “Yup,” I said. “I… I died?” “Yup. You looked around. “More or less,” I said. “Are you god?” “Yup,” I replied.
“My kids… my wife,” you said. “What about them?” “Will they be all right?” “That’s what I like to see,” I said. You looked at me with fascination. “Don’t worry,” I said. “Oh,” you said. “Neither,” I said. “Ah,” you said. “All religions are right in their own way,” I said. You followed along as we strode through the void. “Nowhere in particular,” I said. “So what’s the point, then?” “Not so!” I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “How many times have I been reincarnated, then?” “Oh lots. “Wait, what?” “Well, I guess technically. “Sure. “Wait. Lost Camera. Have you lost your camera recently? Mislaid it somewhere in a national park? Left it in a taxi? Dropped it in the gorilla pit? Anyone can be a victim of the thoughtlessness and/or sleepiness that can lead to Camera Loss. ‘ How can I prevent Camera Loss?’
I hear you ask, wishing I’d get to the point. All you have to do is take some photos – which you never delete from your camera – so when someone finds your camera at the bottom of the gorilla pit they are able to locate you and return the lost property to its rightful owner. To illustrate just how you can safeguard your camera from the crippling effects of Camera Loss, here are the pics that I always keep on my camera. Socialist Plots. Pontiac Ice Cream. For the engineers among us who understand that the obvious is not always the solution, and that the facts, no matter how implausible, are still the facts ...
A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame youfor not answering me, because I kind of sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family of ice cream for dessert after dinner each night. But the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem. You see, every time I buy vanilla ice cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. The Pontiac President was understandably sceptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway.