23 Perfect Words For Emotions You Never Realised Anyone Else Felt. 12 Quotes That Capture What It Means To Be British. 28 Beautiful Words The English Language Should Steal. 29 Perfectly Lazy Products Your Bedroom Needs. 19 Signs Kids Aren't Really Your Thing. 17 Times Female Athletes Had To Put Up With Sexist Bullshit. 24 Parents Who Have Finally Reached Peak Parent. For Those Who Suffer From Frozen Summer Office. This Is Exactly What It's Like When You Have A Work Crush. The Definitive Ranking Of Tesco Sandwiches. 41 Beautiful Tattoos That Will Spark Your Travel Bug. 19 Times Back Sweat Literally Ruined Lives Everywhere. 21 Ed Sheeran Reactions For Everyday Situations. 56 Things You'll Know If You Grew Up In Bolton.
43 Tattoos You Will Want All Over Your Body. 17 Bizarre Kim Kardashian Products You Never Knew You Needed. 17 Moments Every Gay Man With Straight Friends Has Experienced. 21 Faces Everyone With A Unique Name Will Immediately Recognize. 24 Things That No One Tells You About Moving Out Of London. 14 Times Ed Sheeran Was Actually The Nicest Man In Show Business.
We Asked 22 Non Scots To React To Photos Of Edinburgh And This Is What Happened. 47 Brilliant, Horrifying, And Bizarre Tattoos Of Celebrities. The 15 Best Graduation Falls. 17 Sexts Ladies Really Want To Get From Their Girlfriends. 37 Joyful Solutions To British Problems, According To Amy Poehler. 44 Baby Animals Doing Baby Animal Things. 29 Parents Share The Weirdest Things Their Kids Ever Did. 23 Flaws You Never Noticed in Famous Fictional Technology. 4 Flawed Life Lessons Movies Accidentally Taught Us. There are a few universal truths I have learned from watching movies throughout my lifetime: Killing is only OK if the guys are bad, love is more important than stuff and, given the choice, always bet on black.
The lessons imparted by films may seem trite or cloying at times, but they are always important because they reflect the principles and priorities of our culture. We use the morals from movies as blueprints for our own lives, so even though infidelity, brutality and deceit can exist in a story, we know that by the end someone is going to be held accountable for it all, preferably while being karate kicked out of an airplane. But every once in awhile we get confused. A plot device shows up in so many movies and across so many genres that we mistake it for one of those lessons we're supposed to be applying to our lives. . #4. The Offenders:Up in the Air/Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Only one of these people is on the path to personal betterment. #3. 4 Celebrities Who Are Clearly Trolling the World. In Scandinavian folklore, a troll is a big, slow idiot beast that eats people and turns to stone in the sunlight.
After some jiggering throughout history, a troll became an asshole who assholes his way through life in an asshole way, but does so knowingly. This is key. The 5 Most Baffling Career Moves in Hollywood. Nothing makes sense in Hollywood.
Sometimes someone's career is trucking along nicely and then suddenly takes a wild and unexplainable turn. And I'm not just talking about people whose careers take an abrupt twist turn because of financial woes. Nicolas Cage, for example. It might seem like his career has taken a strange path, but nothing about Cage's career is confusing to me, because he's notoriously irresponsible with his money.
6 Spectacularly Bad Ideas Movies Convinced You Are Badass. Hollywood has a way of making things that are stupid or terrible in real life look like they're awesome, like smoking, or fedoras, or Nicolas Cage.
Well, this goes for most of the cool shit you see during action scenes, too -- turns out that if you tried to pull off some of the sweet-ass moves every movie hero does, even if you were a highly trained professional, you'd just end up making a clown of yourself. Or a corpse. Most likely a corpse. 5 True War Stories That Put Every Action Movie to Shame. One reason we love war stories here at Cracked is because so often, what actually happens on the battlefield is way stranger than anything we got in cheesy 80s action movies.
The real battlefield is chock full of heroics so badass that if you put them in respected war films like Saving Private Ryan or Universal Soldier, we'd all collectively groan, "Yeah, right. " Here are five groups of soldiers that prove that no matter how implausible the plot, some group of soldiers, somewhere, have topped it. #5. Pavlov's Platoon Holds Off the Nazis. All of Them. The 19 Most Impressive Dick Moves of All Time. 5 Real Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy. We all understand that action movies are cheesy escapism.
After all, could one commando really take out a whole compound full of bad guys? Actually, yes. It turns out the history books are full of stories of soldiers doing things so badass they'd hesitate to put them into a film for fear of killing the realism. Like these five, for example. 6 Companies That Rigged The Game (And Changed the World) Living in the age of countless corporate scandals and skyrocketing CEO salaries, it's no coincidence that we've become a cynical bunch when it comes to corporate America.
We've almost come to expect companies to screw everybody over so that their top executives can spend their time buying solid cocaine statues of Gordon Gekko and betting on hooker boxing matches hosted on yachts in international waters. However, sometimes when you see the scheming that goes on behind the scenes, you do have to kind of admire it. Not approve of it, mind you -- just appreciate the kind of balls it takes to ... #6. Convince the World That a Common Substance Is Rare. The 24 Creepiest Discoveries People Just Stumbled Into.
22 Ordinary Words With Terrifying Origins. 5 Prejudices That Video Games Can't Seem to Get Over. The 8 Stupidest Defenses Against Accusations of Sexism. I recently wrote an article on hilariously sexist costumes.
The article and the resulting comments were like Bruce Banner experimenting with gamma radiation. I was only trying to prove some minor points, but the results made my arguments stronger than I could ever have imagined. These are actual comments from that column's comment section, but you could see them anywhere. Behold, the worst sexism defenses that get used every day on the Internet ... #8. The Comment*: 20 Mind-Blowing Easter Eggs Hidden on Famous Albums. 6 People Who Had No Clue Their Faces Were World-Famous. Becoming accidentally famous must be an unpleasantly surreal experience.
Rebecca Black is the most cited example of the phenomenon these days (as though she was just dancing down the street one day and accidentally passed through a terrible music video) but she's far from the most mind blowing example. For instance, imagine driving through the streets of, say, Beijing, and suddenly seeing your face on a billboard for instant noodles.
Imagine you then find out your face is the Chinese equivalent of the Gerber's Baby, and has been for decades, and you never had a clue. This apparently happens all the time. #6. Via Wikipedia. 5 Dumb Myths About Prehistoric Times That Everyone Believes. Prehistoric times are a particularly murky spot in the pool of human history.
Still, we all have at least some idea of what went down back then: hulking, fur-clad cavemen bashing their prey (and each other) with massive clubs, attempting to invent essentials such as agriculture and the wheel on the side. Of course, as always, things are a lot more complicated than we tend to assume. It turns out a lot of what we think we know about prehistory is brought to us by Hollywood and Geico commercials. The 20 Most Misunderstood Movies of All Time. Cracked. Are you part of a thriving community of working-class homeowners? If so, here's hoping no government entity ever decides they'd rather do something else with the land your homes are built on. As history has shown time and again, once they do, they will stop at almost nothing to separate you from your property. We talk about some of the most egregious land grabs from the never-ending battle between the rich and the poor on this week's Unpopular Opinion podcast ...
19 Real Sinister Conspiracies That Actually Happened. Article_18692_the-5-most-ridiculous-martial-arts-movies-ever. We don't expect much from our martial arts movies. A shallow plot (you killed my father/master/mother/wife/dog/cat, so now I'm going to kill you/your father/master/mother/wife/dog/cat) is acceptable so long as there are some serious ass kickings along the way. You'd think it'd be a hard formula to screw up. Article_19981_the-5-most-embarrassing-failures-in-history-war. We really don't get enough stories about incompetent soldiers. Think about it: It's a real disservice to war heroes if we never give people anything to compare them to.
The very reason bravery and quick wits under fire are to be celebrated is because they're rare. So let's take a moment to celebrate some of the hilariously stupid shit that goes on in the name of war. 6 People Saved by Literally the Last Person They Expected. We all have at least one enemy we'd love to see crawl on their knees to beg for our help, only for us to say no and laugh at their misery because screw you, Joey, we'll never forgive you for dropping our ThunderCats Pogs in the toilet. Some of the most powerful people in the world have found themselves in this exact situation ... and when the time came to tell their rivals to eat shit, they instead turned around and said, "Sure thing, buddy, let me help you with that.
" #6. Bill Gates Saves Apple from Bankruptcy David Paul Morris/Getty Images News/Getty Images Few corporate rivalries have gotten so nasty as the one between Microsoft and Apple. Article_20633_5-pleasant-surprises-about-famous-people-you-had-all-wrong. Super White & Kinda Racist: 5 Realities Of Australia. When Hollywood wants to film a movie set in a blasted, apocalyptic wasteland, it turns to Australia. The sets decorate themselves! I Was A Reality TV Judge: 5 Secrets I Shouldn't Tell You. As you can probably guess, guys like Simon Cowell don't personally sit through all of the tens of thousands of auditions that come in for network singing competitions. To get to him, you have to go through people like me. For several years, I worked on The X-Factor in artist development, auditioning thousands of everyday people all over the country and filtering them down to the ones who are actually ready for prime time. To the average viewer, singing competitions like our show or American Idol are pretty straightforward: People show up, they sing, most are terrible but a few are good enough to be on TV, someone wins, and their album bombs just in time for the next season.
Article_19368_6-shockingly-affordable-sci-fi-inventions. As we here at Cracked are fond of pointing out, technological advancements are causing real life and science fiction to overlap in increasingly interesting ways. Still, most of the really cool gear must cost a fortune and a half ... right? Actually, no. Article_22771_5-little-kids-more-badass-than-youll-ever-be.
As a general rule, we assume that the most impressive feat humans can pull off before age 17 is texting and walking at the same time. The 6 Most Ridiculous F***-Ups In The History Of Science. The 12 Most Horrifically Misleading Euphemisms. 5 Topics Guaranteed to Elicit (Condescending) Advice. 22 Hollywood A-Listers Who Started Out On Old British TV Shows. The Most Eventually Satisfying Text Message Conversation You'll Read Today. The 24 Types Of Text All Dads Send. Going To An English School Vs. Going To A Scottish School. 26 Real, Relentless, And Eternal Struggles Of #GrowingUpWithSiblings. The 32 Most WTF Celebrity Outfits From The '00s. 26 Badass Women All 90s British Girls Wanted To Be. 21 Inspirational Quotes From Kittens. 42 Pictures That Will Make You Almost Too Happy. 24 Reasons Why Everyone Should Be Forced To Work Retail For One Day. 37 Reasons You Should Run Away To The Jurassic Coast.
31 Things Everyone Who Grew Up In Britain Will Understand. 25 Pictures That Are Way, Way Too Real For People Who Hate People. 29 Things You Can Do Right Now To Get Your Kitchen Organized. 23 Annoying Things That Always Happen When Playing Board Games. This Is What British '90s And '00s "Ladettes" Look Like Now. 17 Things That Happen When You Have A Large Friend Group.
22 Places In The UK Every Jane Austen Fan Has To Visit. 23 Tumblr Posts That Prove You Are Not Alone. 23 Signs You’re Just Not A Nice Person. 21 Struggles Of Having A Mom Who's Hotter Than You. 3 Controversial Words We've Drained of Meaning. I remember two things about the Smurfs -- one is that the cat had a great name (Azrael), and the other is that they used the word "smurf" for everything.
My Twitter/forum avatar is actually a combination of Smurfs Azrael and Batman Azrael. Get it? Yeah, nobody does. It was actually a running joke. Like, they would tell humans that "the smurf smurfed the other Smurfs" in order to say that someone had kidnapped the other Smurfs, which made absolutely no sense to the humans, and the other Smurfs I assume eventually starved to death in captivity. It's easy to just think the Smurfs are dumb, because they are, but we've done the same thing to a lot of our most popular words.
Here are some other words we have bludgeoned the meaning out of. #3. Getty source images The word "hate" has somehow become an umbrella term for racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, and any type of wrong attitude toward a group of people. PinterestI was joking, but, uh ... 23 Reasons Having Biryani Is Better Than Having A Boyfriend. 12 Last Meals of Famous Death Row Inmates. 16 Pictures That Prove Every Man Is Way, Way Hotter In Indian Clothes. 19 Badass Instagrammers Who Prove Yoga Bodies Come In All Shapes And Sizes. 15 Problems All Ravers Will Understand. 17 Cats Who Are Going To Eat All Of Santa's Cookies. 26 Things All Greeks Do During Christmas. 33 Times The Anime Side Of Tumblr Was Pretty OK After All. 21 Harry Potter Text Posts That Are Too Real. 10 Reasons Getting Yourself To The Gym Is The Ultimate Struggle.
14 Struggles Only Average-Size People Will Understand. 31 Faces Anyone Who's Not A Morning Person Will Recognize. 13 Times Traffic Made People Resort To Drastic Measures. 16 Health And Fitness Myths You Should Definitely Stop Believing. 31 Photos That Will Make You More Uncomfortable Than They Should. What Are The Creepiest Sentences From Literature. 10 Animals Meditating On Their Favorite Cormac McCarthy Quotes. 24 Things That Happen When You Date A Man With A Beard. 16 "Mr Men" And "Little Miss" Characters That Sum Up Modern Britain.
If Disney Princesses Had Dating Profiles. What's Your Favorite Life-Changing Style Tip.