How Long It Takes to Form a New Habit by Maria Popova Why magic numbers always require a grain of empirical salt. “We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle proclaimed. “Could the young but realize how soon they will become mere walking bundles of habits, they would give more heed to their conduct while in the plastic state,” William James wrote. But how, exactly, do we rewire our habits once they have congealed into daily routines? When he became interested in how long it takes for us to form or change a habit, psychologist Jeremy Dean found himself bombarded with the same magic answer from popular psychology websites and advice columns: 21 days. In a study carried out at University College London, 96 participants were asked to choose an everyday behavior that they wanted to turn into a habit. This notion of acting without thinking — known in science as “automaticity” — turns out, perhaps unsurprisingly, to be a central driver of habits. It’s like trying to run up a hill that starts out steep and gradually levels off.
12 Toxic Beliefs You Need Out of Your Mind What we can or can’t do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our strengths or intelligence. It’s often a function of our beliefs about who we are. “The drummer in our band, Nick, is legally deaf, and has been since he was born. But he can still hear low bass tones and feel the vibrations from the drums and other instruments. Honestly, he’s such an incredible drummer that most people don’t believe he’s deaf. Those inspiring lines come right out of a live chat conversation I had this morning with Amber, one of our newest course members (she gave me permission to share this with you here). Later on in our chat session, Amber said, “You know, I hate to admit it, but I envy Nick. “What voices,” I asked. “You know, the voices constantly telling me that I’m not good enough, that I don’t have enough, that it’s too late for me, that the naysayers are always right and I’m always wrong, and so forth,” she said. Reminder: Have you checked out our book? Afterthoughts
Sam Harris on the Paradox of Meditation and How to Stretch Our Capacity for Everyday Self-Transcendence Montaigne believed that meditation is the finest exercise of one’s mind and David Lynch uses it as an anchor of his creative integrity. Over the centuries, the ancient Eastern practice has had a variety of exports and permutations in the West, but at no point has it been more vital to our sanity and psychoemotional survival than amidst our current epidemic of hurrying and cult of productivity. It is remarkable how much we, as a culture, invest in the fitness of the body and how little, by and large, in the fitness of the spirit and the psyche — which is essentially what meditation provides. In Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion (public library), neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris argued that cultivating the art of presence is our greatest gateway to true happiness. Harris writes: We know that the self is a social construct and the dissolution of its illusion, Harris argues, is the most valuable gift of meditation:
Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert People don’t outgrow introversion, so the introverted adult was once an introverted child. What is true of one is true of both. Contrary to popular opinion, introverts are not asocial, nor are they friendless loners who lack social skills. They simply have different social needs and preferences. Friendships Sebastian Pfuetze/Taxi/Getty Images It is not easy for introverts to make new friends because getting to know someone takes so much energy. Social Preferences Introverts need a lot of personal space. Preferred Activities Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. Social Behavior Introverts tend to be quiet and subdued. Social Interaction While introverts may appear to lack social skills or be antisocial, neither is true. Verbal Expression If given a choice, introverts would rather express their ideas in writing than in speech. Emotions and Emotional Responses Introverts become emotionally drained after spending time with others, particularly strangers.
Are Limiting Beliefs Keeping You Trapped at Work? How many hours a week do you work? I know there are times when you’ve got to crush it, but I’m talking about regularly. Forty, fifty, sixty hours? Courtesy of iStock/baona One study I’ve seen says that most professionals actually work more than seventy, given how much time they address business communication on their smart phones. As far as I’m concerned, anything over 55 hours a week is too much. When I say that, I’m surprised at how many people object and say they don’t have a choice. When it comes to people in this predicament, I’ve never run across a situation where someone held a gun to their head. There are many reasons for why people feel stuck in these disempowering situations. They forget they have agency. When I speak about limiting beliefs, I usually tell people to flip the paradigm and replace them empowering truths. No one runs your life unless you let them. or upgrade to a self-hosted WordPress blog?
How Kindness Became Our Forbidden Pleasure by Maria Popova “We are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind to us.” “Practice kindness all day to everybody and you will realize you’re already in heaven now,” Jack Kerouac wrote in a beautiful 1957 letter. Kindness has become “our forbidden pleasure.” So argue psychoanalyst Adam Phillips and historian Barbara Taylor in the plainly titled, tiny, enormously rewarding book On Kindness (public library). Illustration by Marianne Dubuc from 'The Lion and the Bird.' Taylor and Phillips write: The kind life — the life lived in instinctive sympathetic identification with the vulnerabilities and attractions of others — is the life we are more inclined to live, and indeed is the one we are often living without letting ourselves know that this is what we are doing. The most paradoxical part of the story is that for most of our civilizational history, we’ve seen ourselves as fundamentally kind and held kindness as a high ideal of personhood.
Internal Time: The Science of Chronotypes, Social Jet Lag, and Why You’re So Tired by Maria Popova Debunking the social stigma around late risers, or what Einstein has to do with teens’ risk for smoking. “Six hours’ sleep for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool,” Napoleon famously prescribed. (He would have scoffed at Einstein, then, who was known to require ten hours of sleep for optimal performance.) In fact, each of us possesses a different chronotype — an internal timing type best defined by your midpoint of sleep, or midsleep, which you can calculate by dividing your average sleep duration by two and adding the resulting number to your average bedtime on free days, meaning days when your sleep and waking times are not dictated by the demands of your work or school schedule. The distribution of midsleep in Central Europe. This myth that early risers are good people and that late risers are lazy has its reasons and merits in rural societies but becomes questionable in a modern 24/7 society. The scissors of sleep. Chronotypes vary with age: Share on Tumblr
Overrated vs. Underrated: Common Beliefs We Get Wrong As a society, we often overvalue unimportant things and undervalue the ideas and strategies that make a real difference. Here’s my take on a few common beliefs that I think we often get wrong. Overrated: Being busy. Underrated: Doing one thing at a time. Being in motion is not the same thing as taking action. Read more: The Myth of Multitasking: Why Fewer Priorities Leads to Better Work Overrated: Avoiding criticism. Underrated: Sharing unique ideas. You can either be judged because you created something or ignored because you left your greatness inside of you. Read more: Haters and Critics: How to Deal with People Judging You and Your Work Overrated: Unrestricted freedom. Underrated: Carefully designed constraints. Constraints actually increase our skill development rather than restrict it. Read more: The More We Limit Ourselves, the More Resourceful We Become Overrated: Degrees, certifications, and credentials. Underrated: Courage and creativity. Degrees can be important. We love status.
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