The Backfire Effect: The Psychology of Why We Have a Hard Time Changing Our Minds by Maria Popova How the disconnect between information and insight explains our dangerous self-righteousness. “Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind,” I wrote in reflecting on the 7 most important things I learned in 7 years of Brain Pickings. It’s a conundrum most of us grapple with — on the one hand, the awareness that personal growth means transcending our smaller selves as we reach for a more dimensional, intelligent, and enlightened understanding of the world, and on the other hand, the excruciating growing pains of evolving or completely abandoning our former, more inferior beliefs as we integrate new knowledge and insight into our comprehension of how life works. That discomfort, in fact, can be so intolerable that we often go to great lengths to disguise or deny our changing beliefs by paying less attention to information that contradicts our present convictions and more to that which confirms them. So where does this leave us? Donating = Loving
Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert People don’t outgrow introversion, so the introverted adult was once an introverted child. What is true of one is true of both. Contrary to popular opinion, introverts are not asocial, nor are they friendless loners who lack social skills. They simply have different social needs and preferences. Friendships Sebastian Pfuetze/Taxi/Getty Images It is not easy for introverts to make new friends because getting to know someone takes so much energy. Social Preferences Introverts need a lot of personal space. Preferred Activities Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. Social Behavior Introverts tend to be quiet and subdued. Social Interaction While introverts may appear to lack social skills or be antisocial, neither is true. Verbal Expression If given a choice, introverts would rather express their ideas in writing than in speech. Emotions and Emotional Responses Introverts become emotionally drained after spending time with others, particularly strangers.
Internal Time: The Science of Chronotypes, Social Jet Lag, and Why You’re So Tired by Maria Popova Debunking the social stigma around late risers, or what Einstein has to do with teens’ risk for smoking. “Six hours’ sleep for a man, seven for a woman, and eight for a fool,” Napoleon famously prescribed. (He would have scoffed at Einstein, then, who was known to require ten hours of sleep for optimal performance.) In fact, each of us possesses a different chronotype — an internal timing type best defined by your midpoint of sleep, or midsleep, which you can calculate by dividing your average sleep duration by two and adding the resulting number to your average bedtime on free days, meaning days when your sleep and waking times are not dictated by the demands of your work or school schedule. The distribution of midsleep in Central Europe. This myth that early risers are good people and that late risers are lazy has its reasons and merits in rural societies but becomes questionable in a modern 24/7 society. The scissors of sleep. Chronotypes vary with age: Share on Tumblr
8 Things Everybody Ought to Know About Concentrating “Music helps me concentrate,” Mike said to me glancing briefly over his shoulder. Mike was in his room writing a paper for his U.S. History class. On his desk next to his computer sat crunched Red Bulls, empty Gatorade bottles, some extra pocket change and scattered pieces of paper. Mike made a shift about every thirty seconds between all of the above. Do you know a person like this? The Science Behind Concentration In the above account, Mike’s obviously stuck in a routine that many of us may have found ourselves in, yet in the moment we feel it’s almost an impossible routine to get out of. When we constantly multitask to get things done, we’re not multitasking, we’re rapidly shifting our attention. Phase 1: Blood Rush Alert When Mike decides to start writing his History essay, blood rushes to his anterior prefrontal cortex. Phase 2: Find and Execute Phase 3: Disengagement While in this state, Mike then hears an email notification. The process repeats itself sequentially. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
SOCIONICS: Personality Types and Relationships Are We Being Ruled by Our Toddler Brains? wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock Did you ever wonder why smart people make the same mistakes over and over? Or why you see so many stressed-out people acting like toddlers? Or why we seem to take target practice to get better at shooting ourselves in the foot? The answer is in ourselves, to be sure, but it’s also in our stars. Toddler Brain vs. Suffering and failure begin in the volatile limbic system, or Toddler brain, which reaches full structural maturity around age three. When we retreat to the Toddler brain under stress, we create conflict and almost invariably act out self-defeating behavior. The signature process of the limbic system is to sound alarms. Unfortunately, the assess and improve modes of our prefrontal cortex can often hijacked by habits forged in the Toddler brain—when those habits are repeatedly reinforced in adulthood. In Our Stars Many factors contribute to the Culture of Toddlerhood, chief among them: Entitlement: No! Self-obsession The Cult of Feelings
What Is Love? Famous Definitions from 400 Years of Literary History by Maria Popova “Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything.” After those collections of notable definitions of art, science, and philosophy, what better way to start a new year than with a selection of poetic definitions of a peculiar phenomenon that is at once more amorphous than art, more single-minded than science, and more philosophical than philosophy itself? Gathered here are some of the most memorable and timeless insights on love, culled from several hundred years of literary history — enjoy. Kurt Vonnegut, who was in some ways an extremist about love but also had a healthy dose of irreverence about it, in The Sirens of Titan: A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved. Anaïs Nin, whose wisdom on love knew no bounds, in A Literate Passion: Letters of Anaïs Nin & Henry Miller, 1932-1953: What is love but acceptance of the other, whatever he is. C. E.
How To Train Yourself To Be In The Mood You Want Dec 27, 2010 When you have major changes going on in your life, or you’re just frustrated about where you are, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of depression, bad moods and frustration. I know, I’ve been there … and when I’m not careful, I still get there more than I want to. But when I’ve had a particularly hard time, I hit these moments where I’m in a foul mood, or I’m just feeling paralyzed, and I’m just stuck. I’m going to outline the framework that I’ve been using successfully to really get myself resourceful and motivated (and in a better mood) when I’m feeling stuck. First Up: Using A Framework to Escape From Paralyzing Emotions When we feel bad, it’s hard to “feel good” again. The reason for this is that steps take the emotion out of our situation and give us direction to simply act. You can call these verbal step-by-step tools anchors if you want, because they’re ways to anchor your emotional state to a time where you knew what to do and you felt prepared. Think about it. Dave
Building Self Esteem With Writing Therapy One of the most common techniques used for building self esteem is the use of affirmations. Affirmations are things you tell yourself on a regular basis to “affirm” your personal strength, beauty and value. Affirmations are great, but unless there is a real belief in what the words represent, they will do nothing for your true self esteem. To get at your true self esteem, you must dig a bit deeper; and for this purpose I recommend writing about your life. The Brain Dump and Building Self Esteem Ever since I started “brain dumping”, I became a big believer in its power. Each little morsel of your brain is valuable real estate. The more space in your brain that is taken up by worry, doubt, frustration, sadness, etc.; the less space you will have available for positive thoughts. To achieve a successful brain dump all you have to do is get out a pen and notebook and start writing. If you have a problem in the forefront of you mind, start writing about it. Building Self Esteem Post-Brain Dump
How Myers Briggs Can Elevate Your Game By Black Knight During my night approaches, I tend to shy away from scripted routines after the first couple of minutes. I respect guys who can put together engaging stories and deploy them with surgical precision, but my style tends to be a bit more conversational and extemporaneous. Among an educated crowd in venues that promote conversation, one subject I often bring up is psychology, specifically personality types and their idiosyncrasies. Girls love to talk about their personalities, since it taps into their deep-rooted need to be part of a larger identity group, yet allows them enough leeway to show they are special snowflakes. If I get a favorable initial reaction, I often bring up the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) personality test. Myers-Briggs is a popular topic in undergraduate intro psych classes, and it may surprise you how many girls are familiar with the concept. INTJ / INTP - Their brains are wired more like men. ENFJ - Many nurses and teachers fall into this category.
Eye Direction and Lying - How to detect lies from the direction of an individual's gaze / visual accessing cues. Interesting Info -> Lying Index -> Eye Direction & Visual Accessing Cues Eye Movement and Direction & How it Can Reveal Truth or Lies This is a continuation of our previous article Detecting Lies. Many comments by our visitors asked about how eye direction can indicate the presence of a lie. Can the direction a person's eyes reveal whether or not they are making a truthful statement? In these shows a detective will deduce if a person is being untruthful simply because they looked to the left or right while making a statement. In reality, it would be foolish to make such a snap judgment without further investigation... but the technique does have some merit. So, here it is... read, ponder and test it on your friends and family to see how reliable it is for yourself. Visual Accessing Cues - "Lying Eyes" When asked a question a "normally organized" right-handed person looks (from your viewpoint, looking at them): The Gist of it... How this information is used to detect lies: Final Notes:
Out of Character: The Psychology of Good and Evil by Maria Popova What Aristotle has to do with Tiger Woods and the story of the world. The dichotomy of good and evil is as old as the story of the world, and timeless in its relevance to just about everything we do in life, from our political and spiritual views to our taste in music, art and literature to how we think about our simple dietary choices. But while most of us recognize that these concepts of good and bad aren’t always black-and-white categories, we never cease to be surprised when someone or something we’ve perceived as “good” does or becomes something we perceive as “bad,” from an esteemed politician’s transgression to a beloved celebrity’s slip into addiction or scientology or otherwise socially undesirable behavior. In Out of Character: Surprising Truths About the Liar, Cheat, Sinner (and Saint) Lurking in All of Us, researchers David DeSteno and Piercarlo Valdesolo explore this curious disconnect through the rigorous lens of science. Donating = Loving Share on Tumblr
10 theories that explain why we dream Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service. I like #7 and #8 of sorts, as they sort of fit in with the kinds of dreams I have. On that note after seeing Inception I loved the comments about how our dreams are basically "filled in" with familiar places/things to make them feel more complete. Flagged
Is Consciousness Universal? For every inside there is an outside, and for every outside there is an inside; though they are different, they go together. —Alan Watts, Man, Nature, and the Nature of Man, 1991 I grew up in a devout and practicing Roman Catholic family with Purzel, a fearless and high-energy dachshund. He, as with all the other, much larger dogs that subsequently accompanied me through life, showed plenty of affection, curiosity, playfulness, aggression, anger, shame and fear. It was only later, at university, that I became acquainted with Buddhism and its emphasis on the universal nature of mind. As a natural scientist, I find a version of panpsychism modified for the 21st century to be the single most elegant and parsimonious explanation for the universe I find myself in. We Are All Nature's Children The past two centuries of scientific progress have made it difficult to sustain a belief in human exceptionalism.