Encyclopedia Uselessia -- Heaven is hotter than Hell Paradox The Heaven is Hotter than Hell Paradox is a contradiction between stated temputures listed in the Bible. By computing the temputures of both Heaven and Hell using the information by the Bible. Tempurature of Heven The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is the Bible, Isaiah 30:26 reads, "Moreover, the light of the moon shall be as the light of the sun and the light of the sun shall be sevenfold as the light of seven days." Tempurature of Hell The exact temperature of hell cannot be computed but it must be less than 444.6C, the temperature at which brimstone or sulfur changes from a liquid to a gas. Back to Table of Contents
Violent Acres Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year. Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. This isn't the first time time-travel has been blamed for mishaps at the LHC. Professor Brian Cox, a CERN physicist and full-time rock'n'roll TV scientist, was sympathetic to Mr Cole.
Devil The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. 1. 2. So which is it? Thanks for Jean Heinen for submitting!
The Really Truly Hillary Gallery The Really Truly Hillary Gallery The Ultimate Online Archive of Unflattering Hillary Clinton Photos The election season is upon us. And that means only one thing: Hillary Clinton will be a hot topic across the nation. Bloggers, pundits, journalists, satirists and Photoshoppers are going to need a steady stream of Hillary images to illustrate their postings and stories. And if you're not exactly a Hillary fan, you're going to want unflattering pictures of her. But where to find them? Until now. As a public service, zombietime has compiled this gallery of unflattering Hillary photos. The purpose of this gallery is not as entertainment itself, but rather to serve as a resource for bloggers, journalists, satirists and so on to find and re-use the Hillary photos of their choice. Is this "fair"? Another common strategy of Hillary supporters is to claim an increased admiration for and attraction to Hillary based on these photos. So -- start downloading! The Reject Pile
Crazy Local TV Commercials People always lament the decline of those quaint mom-and-pop stores as big chains like Target and Wal-Mart dominate the holidays with impossible-to-beat price margins and robust online sites that spare you the ordeal of interpersonal communication. But here's something no one considers: What if mom-and-pop are total lunatics? What if the mere act of stepping foot in their store endangers you? What if that little, locally owned store is where the Christmas Spirit goes to die? Judging by these local TV ads, such small businesses (ones that the Grinch himself may call "a bit over the top") do exist. Hobbymasters Some notable facts: 1.) 2.) 3.) 4.) Memorable quote: "Not if I spot you first!" Crazy Gideon's Clearly someone forgot to tell Gideon that the "crazy" portion of the name is supposed to refer to the store's irrationally low prices, not actual psychotic rage. Memorable quote: "Hurry before I change my mind!" Norton Furniture 1.) 2.) 3.) 4.) Memorable quote: "Now, seriously.
Wal-Mart Intercom Pranks Wide World of Pranks: Rant Wal-Mart Intercom Pranks Wal-Mart stores can be so big and the workers seem so bored and the customers seem so harried and annoying. Planet Wally found the answer. • Pick up the phone • Dial #96 You're now on the store intercom! The proper way to use the store intercom, I mean, apart from the fact it is only supposed to be used by Wal-Mart employees, is to declare the code and the location. Intercom Codes: INTERCOM HOLD: Sometimes silence is golden. CODE 1: This code is used for SHOPLIFTING! CODE 10: Dry Spill. CODE 20: Wet Spill. CODE 90: Management Needed. CODE 99: This code implies that there is an emergency and all male employees are to immediately stop what they are doing and move to the announced location. CODE 300: Security Needed. CODE ADAM: Code Adam is used to report a lost child. CODE BLACK: This code is used for severe weather. CODE BLUE A bomb scare. CODE C: Customer service. CODE GREEN: This code is used when there is a hostage in the store.
Don West Top 50 Loathsome People in America 2007 The BEAST: America's Best Fiend .................................................................... The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007 click here for printer-friendly version 50. Nicole Richie Charges: Not a brick house. Exhibit A: "I've just gone through so much in my life that pulling my top up just doesn't seem like that big a deal." Sentence: Sealed neck-high in the outhouse foundation of a popular Mexican Spring Break destination. 49. Charges: Old school Dixiecrat segregationist who switched parties along with Strom Thurmond back when Democrats decided to be nicer to black people. Exhibit A: Was in the "Singing Senators," a closeted a cappella group, with John Ashcroft, Jim Jeffords and Larry Craig -- not that there's anything wrong with that. Sentence: Accidentally lynched by blind neo-Nazis. 48. Exhibit A: We didn't know his show employed writers. Sentence: Forced to appear nightly on The Carson Daly Show. 47. 46. 45. 44. Sentence: Viagra ban.
QDB: Quote Database Home 80 NEW Creative, Smart & Clever Advertisements Posted on 04'08 Nov Posted on November 4, 2008 along with 63 JUST™ Creative Comments I know you see many creative advertising posts, but I went out and tried to find some of the lesser known creative ads of which you can see below. This is a follow up to the post 192 creative advertisements. You may also like these posts: People who sign up for Twitter, post once, then never return. - By John Swansburg and Jeremy Singer-Vine After examining some 300,000 Twitter accounts, a Harvard Business School professor reported last week that 10 percent of the service's users account for more than 90 percent of tweets. The study dovetails with recent analysis by the media research firm Nielsen asserting that 60 percent of Twitter users do not return from one month to the next. Both findings suggest that, thus far, Twitter has been considerably better at signing up users than keeping them. Which got us to thinking—there must be a legion of Twitterers out there who sign up, tweet once, and never return. In the spirit of the great blog One Post Wonder, "a collection of blogs that have one post," we set out to find these orphaned tweets. Different people obviously have different tweet metabolisms, but we decided that any account that's been dormant for at least six months is fair game. Naturally, many orphan tweets betray skepticism about microblogging. sk8ie I'm here! brittanyblevins what kind of donuts are you offering?