The 10 Most Perverted Old School Video Games Sean "Seanbaby" Reiley was writing comedy over at Seanbaby.com when Cracked was a poor man's MAD Magazine. He's been a major influence on some of our best writers, and starting in April, he's going to be Cracked.com's newest columnist. "Seanbaby's Flying Blind on a Rocket Cycle" will be our first new column since Robert Brockway came along back in November and started punching words through your computer screen. Today, we're introducing him to some of you, and reintroducing him to the rest, with his look back at some of the most disturbingly erotic old school games. Just like orphans and tap dancing, eroticism and video games were meant to be together. Barrel-throwing gorillas and nudity are a perfect match, and sand paintings show that even as far back as ancient Egypt primitive man has been mixing pornography with Zaxxon. Warning: Some of the things and the breasts attached to them discussed in this article may confuse and frighten younger readers. Bubble Bath Babes (NES) Gah!
DIY Bleach Tie Dye - Honestly WTF Last summer, we were obsessed with shibori indigo tie dying. No, really . . . we just about dyed anything white in sight. So when Free People asked us to include a DIY in their guest blogger series, we knew a new tie dye project was absolutely in order. And as the weather is beginning to warm up, what better time than now to start experimenting with reverse tie dye using bleach! To make a grid-like pattern, fold the shirt like an accordion and bind it between two pieces of wood or other flat shaped objects. Before you start bleaching, make sure you are wearing gloves and working outdoors or in a well ventilated area. The rusty brown color will slowly fade into a beautiful lighter shade as it begins to set. Your reverse bleach tie dye shirt is ready to wear! (top image from here, rest of images by HonestlyWTF)
How to Read Eye Movements For the majority of the population, the map above indicates what kind of imaginative process is going on in someone’s brain when their eyes point in a particular direction. NOTE: This is for right handed people only. For left-handers, simply switch left and right! This doesn’t work for everyone, but try it out on your friends and you’ll be surprised at how accurate this model really is… Down-Right: Auditory Internal DialogueIndicates when a person is talking to themselves…inside their head.This could be any form of internal dialogue or when someone this thinking hard about something. How is this information useful to you? 1) To gain insight into what others are thinking about! For example, if you see someone looking down-right, you could recognize the internal dialogue and ask them what they are thinking about. 2) Detect lies! If you ask your (person in your life) where he/she was last night and they look to the left, you know that they are constructing an answer, not remembering one!
25 Things Women Should Know How To Do I normally don't read mass emails but a good friend of mine sent this to me this morning and I couldn't resist reading the 25 Life Saving Tips Every Woman Should Know. I probably have mastered about 3 of these but now I have a good starting point of what I should learn. I'm not sure that you all will agree with these but I felt that as a member of Girls Guide To I should share this list with you. (And this ecard made me crack up too!) 1. The right way of applying blush is an important lesson to know. 2. The knowledge of self-defense could mean the difference between life and death. 3. We’ve all heard the line "it’s not you, it’s me," before. 4. It’s that time of the month again and what presents do we get besides bloating and crankiness? 5. The number one rule for accessories that every woman should know is that less is more. 6. Okay ladies, we can do this! 7. Did you know that most women wear the wrong bra size? 8. Getting dumped is never a good feeling. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16.
Sliding Rock in North Carolina Every summer, there are large number of tourist in Sliding rock, where is located one of most beautiful and unique natural mountain waterfall. It is located in Pisgah National Forest Close to Asheville NC, where people came to slip and slide on this beautiful 60-foot mountain slider. Even water is pretty cold, visitors wait patiently for their turn and slide one-by-one. At the end of the slide they make splash into the big eight-foot deep pool, swim couple feet to get into shore and get back in the line for one more slide… photo source A $1.00 per person fee is charged by the Forest Service to use the area between Memorial Day and Labor Day weekends, when lifeguards and rangers are on duty. photo source A restroom and changing room is provided and a lifeguard is periodically on duty especially during summer weekends from 10 AM to 5:30 PM. photo source A pool in the bottom from the falls is 8 feet deep. photo source photo source photo source photo source photo source photo source
Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The OSTRICH Story - StumbleUpon A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual asks the waitress?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" found an old lamp. me two wishes. would always be there."
Actual Items These are completely real - you can't make this stuff up! (Unless you have too much free time and a decent understanding of Photoshop.) It’s not bad, that’s for sure ARE YOU A REAL PILOT? from Joe Burton - StumbleUpon An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans, then the early Grummans... flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII, and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars. I've taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you? She said, 'I'm a lesbian. The two sat sipping in silence. A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?" He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'
How To Tell You Sucked At Video Games in 2011 by Brian Altano & Andrew Goldfarb December 14, 2011 2011's biggest blockbuster games kind of kicked our asses. We fell off cliffs in Uncharted 3, had our squads blown to bits in Battlefield 3 and were burned to death by lava in Super Mario 3D Land. That's right, even though we're supposed to be pros, we aren't afraid to admit that we sucked at video games in 2011. Getting shot in Uncharted 3 is common. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3's single-player campaign is jammed with wave after wave of deadly soldiers and highly scripted, dangerously explosive action sequences...if you can manage to stay alive through it all. By putting you in control of the caped crusader, Batman: Arkham City allows you to glide across wide expanses, take on dozens of thugs singlehandedly, master sophisticated weaponry and defeat some of the world's most notorious criminals. Super Mario 3D Land Die enough times on a single level in Super Mario 3D Land and you'll be gifted with a magical Tanooki leaf.