Everything Doesn't Happen For A Reason — Tim Lawrence I emerge from this conversation dumbfounded. I've seen this a million times before, but it still gets me every time. I’m listening to a man tell a story. He tells of how she had been a mess before the accident, but that the tragedy had engendered positive changes in her life. And then he utters the words. Everything happens for a reason. That's the kind of bullshit that destroys lives. It is amazing to me that so many of these myths persist—and that is why I share actionable tools and strategies to work with your pain in my free newsletter. You know exactly what I'm talking about. Let me be crystal clear: if you've faced a tragedy and someone tells you in any way, shape or form that your tragedy was meant to be, that it happened for a reason, that it will make you a better person, or that taking responsibility for it will fix it, you have every right to remove them from your life. Grief is brutally painful. Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried. Be there.
Matthieu Ricard : «Que l’on arrête de nous tanner en disant que les gens sont naturellement méfiants !» Rencontrer le moine boudhiste Matthieu Ricard, c’est se faire servir un excellent thé, agrémenté d’un optimisme presque béat. Il dit qu’on le prendra pour un «imbécile», on ajoutera «heureux» ! L’ancien chercheur en biologie moléculaire a publié Vers une société altruiste, aux éditions Allary, avec la collaboration de Tania Singer, chercheuse en neurosciences. Dans nos sociétés individualistes, l’altruisme n’est-il pas une valeur en berne ? C’est notre grand défi par excellence. Vous avez rencontré des chercheurs en neurosciences. Si on ne le fait pas, on nous reproche d’être de doux rêveurs ! Rapprocher le bouddhisme et l’économie, une idée surprenante ? L’économie étant au cœur de tout, si on veut en finir avec l’homo economicus, dont le seul but est de maximiser ses intérêts personnels, le bouddhisme doit aussi s’en emparer, en tant qu’approche empirique de la réalité. Comment expliquez-vous que nos sociétés restent autant attachées à l’argent ? A priori, c’est leur mission première.
How to Make Anxiety Work for You, Not Against You “Growth begins when we start to accept our own weakness.” ~Jean Vanier I got fired from my job, my boyfriend left me, and my father died in one day. In reality, my career was going super well, I didn’t have a boyfriend, and my father was amazingly healthy, but what I did have was something I call an ultra amazing imagination, where I would make up fascinating stories about things that could happen and worry about them. I met my now BFF anxiety when I was about ten years old. I didn’t understand why she was telling me this. Rationally I knew it wasn’t true. Anxiety took the liberty of moving into my room and accompanied me through my teenage years and twenties. The more I ignored her, the more she dug her dirt-filled, jagged nails deep into my bare skin. There was nothing I could do to escape her. Besides, I had grown used to the feeling of having knots in my stomach every day and the sleepless, nightmare-filled nights. There had to be another way. These things helped immensely.
"Ne t’attaque pas au Système, démode-le !" Ce texte est extrait du Livre du Voyage de Bernard Werber. Bernard Werber est intervenu à la conférence "Le sens de la communauté au 21e siècle", le samedi 16 janvier à Paris. Vous pouvez la visionner ici. "Il est cubique, titanesque, froid. Il est doté de chenilles qui écrasent tout. C’est le système social dans lequel tu es inséré. Sur ses tours tu reconnais plusieurs têtes. de tes professeurs, de tes chefs hiérarchiques, des policiers, des militaires, des prêtres, des politiciens, des fonctionnaires, des médecins, qui sont censés toujours te dire si tu as agi bien ou mal. Et le comportement que tu dois adopter pour rester dans le troupeau. C’est le Système. Contre lui ton épée ne peut rien. Quand tu le frappes, le Système te bombarde de feuilles : carnets de notes, formulaires de Sécurité sociale à compléter si tu veux être remboursé, feuilles d’impôts majorés pour cause de retard de paiement, formulaires de licenciement, déclarations de fin de droit au chômage, Le Système approche. La quoi ? Non. Invente.
10 Signs You May Be Involved With a Sex Addict, By a Sex Addict by Brian Whitney You've been hanging out with this guy for a while and everything is great. That's what you tell people. The truth is, everything is not so great. Things he says and does don't add up. When you're together, there is often something forced, even fake, about how he relates to you. The guy may be going through a tough time. I did all 10 of the things on this list, in all of my relationships. The list is a compilation of everything I've learned about sex addiction in my own experience and treatment and from many other men in groups I've been part of. Most doctors would prescribe treatment to help your sex addict get his obsessions and compulsions under control. "The sex addict's impulse is to cover the pain of feeling damaged, whereas the opportunist's impulse is to take whatever he can get without having remorse. So what do you do if your partner is exhibiting three or more (my estimate) of these signs? But be prepared for deception. 1. 2. This is a tricky one. 3. 4. 5. 6.
LA PEDAGOGIQUE INITIATIQUE | LaPresseGalactique.org Omraam Mikhaël Aïvanhov Tant que les parents ne sont pas au point, on aura beau leur donner les meilleures explications pédagogiques, cela ne servira à rien ; en voulant appliquer les notions qu’ils n’auront pas comprises, ils feront beaucoup de mal à leurs enfants. Tous veulent avoir des enfants sans se préoccuper de savoir s’ils remplissent vraiment les conditions pour cela. Est-ce qu’ils ont une bonne santé ? Est-ce qu’ils ont les moyens matériels ? Et surtout, est-ce qu’ils auront les qualités nécessaires afin d’être pour leurs enfants un exemple, une sécurité, un réconfort dans toutes les circonstances de leur vie ? Ils n’y pensent pas. Je suis toujours étonné de voir tant de jeunes garçons et de jeunes filles qui pensent à se marier sans se préparer à leur futur rôle de pères et de mères. Vous direz : « Se préparer… Mais comment se préparer » ? Il faut donc tout revoir depuis le commencement, et le commencement c’est la conception des enfants.
Psych Pedia: The Science of Happiness: Why complaining is literally killing you. By Steven Parton, From CuriousApes.com Sometimes in life, all the experience and knowledge simmering around in that ol’ consciousness of ours combines itself in a way that suddenly causes the cerebral clockwork to click into place, and in this fluid flow of thought we find an epiphany rising to the surface. One such point for me came in my junior year at University. It changed the way I viewed the world forever as it catapulted me out of the last of my angsty, melancholic youth and onto a path of ever-increasing bliss. Sounds like I’m verging on feeding you some new-agey, mumbo-jumbo, doesn’t it? Well, bear with me, because I assure you the point here is to add some logical evidence to the ol’ cliches, to give you what I would consider my Science of Happiness. At the time of this personal discovery, I was pursuing a double-major in Computer Science and Psychology. 1. Your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus are changing a physical construct of reality. 2. 3. 4. But it’s not bullshit. 5.
Psychiatrie : une branche entière de la science s’avère fausse « La ‘Compagnie de manufacture de la Réalité’ ne fait pas que décider du passé, du présent et du futur de la consommation des masses. Elle explique pourquoi les choses sont ce qu’elles sont. Elle se nomme elle-même le maître d’attribution des causes, le roi de la cause et de l’effet ». (The Underground, Jon Rappoport) Les adeptes de la science supposent souvent que ce qu’on nomme science est réel et vrai. Ces gens choisissent d’attaquer des cibles « anti-science » non officielles. Par exemple : la psychiatrie. Le secret de polichinelle s’est lentement répandu dans la conscience du public depuis dix ans. Et en plus : TOUS LES TROUBLES MENTAUX SONT INVENTÉS, NOMMÉS, ÉTIQUETÉS, DÉCRITS ET LISTÉS par un comité de psychiatres, à partir d’un éventail de comportements humains. Pendant des années, même des psychiatres ont dénoncé ce procédé flou et insensé de « recherche ». Mais voilà un rebondissement extraordinaire. Les grands médias n’ont jamais relevé l’interview de manière sérieuse. C’est sûr.
A Non-Conformist's Guide to Success in a Conformist World, Bryan Caplan I've been a non-conformist for as long as I can remember. "All the other kids love sports" never seemed like a good reason why I should feel - or pretend to feel - the same way. "None of the other adults are wearing shorts and flip-flops" never seemed like a good reason why I should make myself uncomfortable. It wasn't mere elitism on my part. "All the other Princeton economists take general equilibrium models seriously" was no more compelling to me than "All the other teens want their own car." Non-conformism at my intensity rarely allows real-world success. Some of it's luck - especially the luck of being in the right place at the right time to meet the right people. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16.
The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think | Johann Hari It is now one hundred years since drugs were first banned — and all through this long century of waging war on drugs, we have been told a story about addiction by our teachers and by our governments. This story is so deeply ingrained in our minds that we take it for granted. It seems obvious. It seems manifestly true. Until I set off three and a half years ago on a 30,000-mile journey for my new book, Chasing The Scream: The First And Last Days of the War on Drugs, to figure out what is really driving the drug war, I believed it too. If we truly absorb this new story, we will have to change a lot more than the drug war. I learned it from an extraordinary mixture of people I met on my travels. I had a quite personal reason to set out for these answers. If you had asked me what causes drug addiction at the start, I would have looked at you as if you were an idiot, and said: “Drugs. The advert explains: “Only one drug is so addictive, nine out of ten laboratory rats will use it. Brad Pitt