Dear Sriracha Rooster Sauce

Dogs Don't Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins. I know this because my boyfriend Duncan and I moved from Montana to Oregon last month. But as harrowing as the move was for us, it was nothing compared to the confusion and insecurity our two dogs had to endure. Our first dog is - to put it delicately - simple-minded. When we started packing, the helper dog knew immediately that something was going on. When the soul-penetrating pathos she was beaming at me failed to prevent me from continuing to put things in boxes, the helper dog became increasingly alarmed. Unfortunately for the helper dog, it took us nearly a week to get everything packed up. But the simple dog seemed to enjoy the trip. Even though she threw up seven times. She actually seemed to like throwing up. But as far as the simple dog was concerned, it was the best, most exciting day of her life.