Men Not Great at Estimating Female Desire -- Science of Us The science of sexual desire is complicated — as it should be, because sexual desire itself is complicated. Sex researchers, for example, have in recent years begun to reconsider the way arousal is conceptualized: Instead of spontaneous desire, in which the urge to have sex strikes seemingly out of nowhere, many people experience responsive desire, where arousal happens in response to some sort of pleasurable scenario. If sex scientists have only recently upended this conventional wisdom regarding the way desire works, maybe it’s not so surprising that some of us nonscientists are still rather confused. Men, in particular, as psychologist Amy Muise reports in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, happen to be particularly bad at guessing whether or not women are turned on. When men and women meet for the first time, for example, previous research has shown that men tend to overperceive women’s sexual interest. There are a few things that could be going on here.
This Is What It's Really Like To Be In A Sexless Marriage Now Dave doesn't ever complain about the fact that we never have sex, which has made me worry over the years that maybe he's cheating. I've checked for hidden email addresses and Snapchat accounts, and there aren't any. I think he's just not a sexually driven person. Even when we have sex, it's not long or strong. It's not passionate. The worst part of a sexless marriage is that it makes me feel unattractive and unloved. MORE: 14 Little Ways To Find Joy Every Day Does our relationship suffer for the lack of sex? —Nora (not her real name), 45, San Diego
48 Things Men Hear In A Lifetime (That Are Bad For Everyone) 11 Things I Do Consistently To Make My Wife Happy If you want to have a happy marriage, you've got to have a happy partner. Over nearly 25 years of marriage I’ve learned that the little things make all the difference. I’m not perfect. I still make mistakes. I want to make sure there is never any question she knows she's the one I love most. Here are 11 things I do consistently to make my wife happy: 1. This morning, I emptied the dishwasher and she was so appreciative. 2. I always ask what she wants to eat for dinner rather than suggesting my own preference. 3. When she wants to share, I sit and listen. 4. My wife never hears a harsh tone from me. 5. Using kind words is the verbal iteration of gentleness. 6. When she tries a new outfit or hairstyle, I notice, and I compliment her on it. Because I love her, I compliment her for these things all the time. 7. Certain things like taking out the trash, making sure the lawn is mowed, and doing small repair jobs are my responsibility in our home. 8. I’m a runner. 9. 10. 11. Related Reads:
How Tom Leykis blew up the Internet VENICE BEACH, Calif. - Tom Leykis blows up the Internet Monday through Friday, in his new guise as a profitable podcaster. While the former Los Angeles radio host boasts that he made a bigger profit in 2014 than the two largest traditional radio concerns, iHeartRadio and Cumulus, the fact is both radio giants lost money, while Leykis eeked out a tiny profit--$2500 on revenues of $527,000. "But it's a start," he contents. "The business is self sufficient. I have four employees. Last year we went up 65% in audience. Leykis and I discussed his move from traditional radio, where he served for over 25 years, including stints on KFI in Los Angeles and syndication, to the self-financed world of podcasting, where he differs from most of the breed by broadcasting live. Leykis began podcasting in 2012, after his former station switched formats. He has a small studio in Burbank where he goes live every day from 6-9 p.m.
This Is What It Really Means To Have Healthy Boundaries Understanding the meaning of healthy boundaries (and learning to maintain them in your life) is simple. But not so easy. For one, setting healthy boundaries involves thinking more about your needs and less about what invitations and responsibilities you'll accept. Once upon a time, I thought having healthy boundaries with others exclusively meant saying "no." Let's be clear: direct, honest assertions of your needs — even in the form of refusals like these — are a good start. For those of us whose default is taking on everyone else's "stuff" (and/or who have otherwise unhealthy behaviors around boundaries), the quest to get healthier and happier often involves the mercy of others. Let's say eating ice cream used to feel like a luscious way to end the day, but lately seems like a sad compulsion. Having strong boundaries means exercising control over what ideas and opinions we take in, and which we disregard. Photo Credit: Stocksy SHARE SHARES 2.3k
the-8-habits-highly-productive-people-2 So I thought that I might write a quick review of every self-help book ever written all right here in this one little article. Simple enough. I love the easy jobs. Surely it couldn’t be that hard, could it? I figured that maybe I could take the important lessons from every self-help book I’ve read and every life experience I’ve endured, condense all that into fifty key points and save everybody a whole bunch of reading time. Half of 20-year-olds will never marry in 'devastating' trend Half of forty year olds today are already married, but they are not expected to reach the levels of set by their parents. According to current trends, only 61 per cent of men and 68 per cent of women aged 40 today will ever marry – a decline of 26 per cent for men and 24 per cent for women. However, the greatest decline in marriage has taken place among those in their twenties. In 1970, the peak year for marriage, 564,818 men and women aged 25 got married. In 2010, just 56,598 did, a fall of 90 per cent. Today, only five per cent of men and ten per cent of women aged 25 are married, as compared to 60 per cent of men and 80 per cent of women forty-four years ago. When the trends are applied to today’s 20 year olds, figures show that only 52 per cent of those men and 53 per cent of women are expected to ever marry. Harry Benson, research director for the Marriage Foundation, said: “What we’re seeing is the devastating trickle-down effect of the trend away from marriage.
Love styles Love styles are modi operandi of how people love, originally developed by John Lee (1973,[1] 1988[2]). He identified six basic love styles—also known as "colours" of love—that people use in their interpersonal relationships: Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University expanded on this theory in the mid-1980s with their extensive research on what they called "love styles". They have found that men tend to be more ludic, whereas women tend to be storgic and pragmatic. Styles[edit] Eros[edit] Akin to limerence, eros is literally the love of Beauty. Erotic lovers view marriage as an extended honeymoon, and sex as the ultimate aesthetic experience. The advantage of erotic love is the sentimentality of it. In a genetic study of 350 lovers, the Eros style was found to be present more often in those bearing the TaqI A1 allele of the DRD2 3' UTR sequence and the overlapping ANKK1 exon 8. Ludus[edit] Ludic lovers are players. Storgic[edit] Pragma[edit] Manic[edit] Agape[edit]
How We Spend Our Days Is How We Spend Our Lives: Annie Dillard on Presence Over Productivity by Maria Popova “The life of sensation is the life of greed; it requires more and more. The life of the spirit requires less and less.” The meaning of life has been pondered by such literary icons as Leo Tolstoy (1904), Henry Miller (1918), Anaïs Nin (1946), Viktor Frankl (1946), Italo Calvino (1975), and David Foster Wallace (2005). And though some have argued that today’s age is one where “the great dream is to trade up from money to meaning,” there’s an unshakable and discomfiting sense that, in our obsession with optimizing our creative routines and maximizing our productivity, we’ve forgotten how to be truly present in the gladdening mystery of life. From The Writing Life (public library) by Annie Dillard — a wonderful addition to the collected wisdom of beloved writers — comes this beautiful and poignant meditation on the life well lived, reminding us of the tradeoffs between presence and productivity that we’re constantly choosing to make, or not: There is no shortage of good days.
Report: Gisele Bundchen And Tom Brady On The Brink Of Divorce - X17 Online - X17 Online Posted on Wed Aug 12th, 2015 2:40pm PDT By X17 Staff There won't be any more power couples left in Hollywood if this happens! Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's marriage is reportedly on the rocks, and insiders think it won't be too long before the model and quarterback call it quits, OK! magazine reports. Atlhough the Victoria's Secret stunner publicly gushed about her hubby in an Instagram post for his birthday on August 3rd, all is not what it seems behind the scenes. The tensions came to a head at the football star's birthday dinner earlier this month. At stake if they pull the plug? “Things have never been this bad. First Ben and Jen, then Gwen and Gavin, and now this!
How to Have Less Awkward Conversations: Assuming Rapport Image by kalandrakas. Assuming rapport. This is definitely one of the best social skill tips I have ever learned about. Unfortunately I’ve forgotten a bit about it lately. Maybe you have too. Or missed it altogether. Now, what is assuming rapport? Basically, instead of going into a conversation or meeting nervously and thinking “how will this go?” How do you do that? I have found that this advice is surprisingly useful and easy to implement. Just before the meeting, you just think that you’ll be meeting a good friend. This also helps you and the other people to set a good frame for the interaction. If it’s a very stiff frame then it may very well continue to be so until the end. First impressions last So setting a good frame at the very beginning can bring more enjoyment and better results out of any kind of meeting. Now, meeting your best friend might not always be the best thing to think about before a meeting.
18 Spiritual Teachings that Blew my Mind Wide Open. After rejecting the Catholic Church around age 10, I stumbled upon the love of my life—yoga-—at the critical age of 12-going-on-13. I started reading New Age self-help books in college and met the Buddha in the San Francisco Bay area at 23. Each stage along the way has been illuminating and necessary to move to a higher level of consciousness. I am thrilled to continue learning and practicing throughout this lifetime, at least. At certain points in the past, I have wished for epiphanies, signals and sudden enlightenment. So, although I would like to gift you with these 18 teachings that have altered my mind and improved my life, they may not resonate with you. My dear friend Liz has a tattoo that reminds her, “This too shall pass.” What would you put on your list?
Glory Johnson says she needs $20,000 month in alimony after 28-day marriage to Brittney Griner PHOENIX - WNBA star Brittany Griner was back in court Monday trying to convince a judge she should not have to pay alimony to her ex-wife, basketball player Glory Johnson. Johnson is seeking $20,000 a month after her 28-day marriage ended with Griner. In court, Johnson’s lawyers argued because she's pregnant with twins, via an IVF procedure she underwent while still with Griner, her doctor won't clear her to play basketball so she won't get paid. Appearing by phone, Johnson said she's already in debt. She's asking $7,000 a month for her food budget and $6,000 for hired help and the rest to live on. “When I go to the grocery store I literally spend $300 every week, sometimes it's less because I don’t have it,” Johnson testified. On paper Griner will make about $1 million this year but says she has expenses too. “Even with your contract with Nike and your WNBA contract would you be able to pay $20,000 a month?” The judge has 60-days to decide if Griner should pay alimony.