Life Is Better When We Focus on What We Appreciate, Not What’s Lacking “Wisdom is merely the movement from fighting life to embracing it.” ~Rasheed Ogunlaru Recently a friend told me a story about taking her seven-year-old to the circus. It was a wonderful mother-daughter outing. They had the best time. After this magical afternoon, as the two of them were leaving, my friend’s daughter spied the merchandise stand and wanted her mum to buy her a plastic fairy wand. In the car on the way home, her daughter was quiet. “What did you like the most? She was sulking. I’m just thinking about the wand I didn’t get. How many of us fixate on the wands we didn’t get, even amidst the most wonderful experiences? How often do we hone in on the one negative comment, or the thing that isn’t right instead of what is positive or right? How can we just see what is rather than disproportionately focusing on what isn’t? For myself, the wands I didn’t get loom most darkly now that we are in the age of the Internet. I read reviews like others might read a newspaper. Here are my rules:
The Art And Science Of Giving And Receiving Criticism At Work Editor's Note: This article is part of "10 Ways To Be A Better Employee In 2015." Read the full list here. No matter what we do or how well we do it, some criticism is eventually going to come our way. And those moments are often some of the toughest we all face in work and life. Hearing potentially negative things about yourself is probably not your favorite activity, and most of us would rather avoid the awkwardness that comes with telling someone else how they could improve. But what do we lose out on when we avoid these tough conversations? If given and received in the right spirit, could sharing feedback—even critical feedback—become a different, better experience than the painful one we’re accustomed to? In this post, we’ll explore how to give and receive feedback at work in the best ways possible, along with some of the psychology behind handling critical feedback (in both directions). What happens in our brains when we receive criticism It’s called a negativity bias.
How to Be Present and Peaceful When You Can't Stop Thinking “Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” ~Eckhart Tolle When I first started practicing Zen (or presence), I used to believe I could become completely thoughtless. Making my bed, no-thought. Washing my hands, no-thought. But it wasn’t like what I thought it would be. The reality is my mind was on full throttle all the time. In a panic, I thought about all those concepts I'd learned. The harder I forced myself, the noisier my mind became. During my first few years of practicing Zen and meditation, I was never at peace. As I learned more about spirituality, I finally found the answer. Here is what I learned, and how you can do the same. 1. It’s human to have thoughts. Just like our eyes see, our ears hear, our nose smells, our tongue tastes, and our body feels, our mind thinks. When I tried to stop my mind, I was actually doing the impossible. 2. A quiet mind is not a mind with no thoughts. So don’t resist your thoughts. 3. I love to hike. 4. 5.
Signs That You Lack Emotional Intelligence Executive Summary Often, emotional intelligence is the key differentiator between a star performer and the rest of the pack, yet many never embrace the skill for themselves. Do you think being liked at work is overrated? In my ten years as an executive coach, I have never had someone raise his hand and declare that he needs to work on his emotional intelligence. Take Craig (not his real name), a coaching client of mine, who showed tremendous potential and a strong ability to drive results for his company. Here are some of the telltale signs that you need to work on your emotional intelligence: You often feel like others don’t get the point and it makes you impatient and frustrated. So what do you do if you recognized yourself in this list? 1. 2. What you say: “At the end of the day, it’s all about getting the work done.” Regardless of what you intend to mean, think about how your words are going to impact others and whether that’s how you want to them to feel. 3. 4.
Radical Candor — The Surprising Secret to Being a Good Boss Kim Scott, co-founder of Candor, Inc., has built her career around a simple goal: Creating bullshit-free zones where people love their work and working together. She first tried it at her own software startup. Then, as a long-time director at Google, she studied how the company’s leaders created an environment where the joy that people took in their work felt almost tangible. As a faculty member at Apple University, Scott learned how Apple takes a different path but is equally committed to creating the conditions where people can do the best work of their careers and love doing it. The good news is that Scott, now an acclaimed advisor for companies like Twitter, Shyp, Rolltape, and Qualtrics, has spent years distilling her experiences into some simple ideas you can use to help the people who work for you love their jobs and do great work. The single most important thing a boss can do, Scott has learned, is focus on guidance: giving it, receiving it, and encouraging it.
Inside Google's Insanely Popular Emotional-Intelligence Course In 2006, Google engineer Chade-Meng Tan decided he no longer wanted to feel like a cog in the great machine, and set out to create a program that would train people to be more mindful in their lives. This wasn’t some Kumbaya moment; Tan’s ambitious course would train people to become more aware of their emotions, more compassionate toward others, more able to build sustainable relationships, and, ultimately, able to contribute to world peace. Or at least peace and harmony in the workplace. Tan, who joined Google in 1999 as the company’s employee No. 107, assembled a team that included a few consultants, a Stanford scientist, and Marc Lesser, a zen teacher with an MBA and entrepreneurial experience. The first "Search Inside Yourself" two-day course was taught to Googlers in 2007. An estimated 1,500 Googlers are expected to go through the training this year, while thousands wait for future open seats. "I was just a regular program manager. Get The Best Stories In Leadership Every Day.
‘What’s the point of a risk-free life?’ – Deborah Levy on starting again at 50 | Books As Orson Welles told us, if we want a happy ending, it depends on where we stop the story. One January night I was eating coconut rice and fish in a bar on Colombia’s Caribbean coast. A tanned, tattooed American man sat at the table next to me. He was in his late 40s, big muscled arms, his silver hair pinned into a bun. Her conversation was interesting, intense and strange. He said, “You talk a lot don’t you?” It was not that easy to convey to him, a man much older than she was, that the world was her world, too. To speak our life as we feel it is a freedom we mostly choose not to take, but it seemed to me that the words she wanted to say were lively inside her, mysterious to herself as much as anyone else. Everything was calm. At first I wasn’t sure I’d make it back to the boat and then I realised I didn’t want to make it back to the boat. Life falls apart. I am not sure I have often witnessed love that achieves all of these things, so perhaps this ideal is fated to be a phantom.
How Emotional Intelligence Became a Key Leadership Skill Andrew Nguyen Anyone trying to come up to speed on emotional intelligence would have a pretty easy time of it since the concept is remarkably recent, and its application to business newer still. The term was coined in 1990 in a research paper by two psychology professors, John D. Mayer of UNH and Peter Salovey of Yale. Some years later, Mayer defined it in HBR this way: From a scientific (rather than a popular) standpoint, emotional intelligence is the ability to accurately perceive your own and others’ emotions; to understand the signals that emotions send about relationships; and to manage your own and others’ emotions. It took almost a decade after the term was coined for Rutgers psychologist Daniel Goleman to establish the importance of emotional intelligence to business leadership. The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: they all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence.
Best Face Serums Dermatologist Recommended This Skinceuticals serum gets a thumbs-up from a handful of the derms we spoke with, including Dr. Engelman, Dr. Frank, and Dr. Elizabeth Tanzi. Pigmentation can come from lifestyle habits like too much sun exposure, smoking, picking at your blemishes, and even genetic predispositions. But the L-ascorbic acid (a highly effective form of vitamin C) is not only great for brightening, it also “contains powerful antioxidants that fight and reverse damage from free radicals that wreck your skin cells,” Dr. Dr. “Not all vitamin C serums are equal or effective,” Dr. Skinceuticals C E Ferulic Serum, $162, available at Skinceuticals.
The Key to Effective Teams in Schools: Emotional Intelligence I'm going to share one of my greatest discoveries about developing teams. This understanding has led me to take actions that otherwise would never occur to me when working with groups. I also think it might be one of the keys to building effective teams of educators who can collaborate, learn together, and transform our schools. You've probably heard about emotional intelligence (EI) -- the ability to recognize when you're experiencing emotions, to have strategies for managing them, and to recognize other people's emotions and respond appropriately to them. A team leader's EI is extremely important, but there's also such thing as a group's collective emotional intelligence. Why Group Emotional Intelligence Matters Group Emotional Intelligence Examples Some indicators of low EI in a group: Team members don't look at each other when they're talking. Some indicators of strong EI in a group: When a team member is talking, he makes eye contact with all others. Further Benefits for the Group
31 Forgotten Native American Herbal Remedies That Work Better Than The Pills – 101 Gardener Maybe you are one of those who deem that the herbal remedies are not as useful as pharmaceutical ones, but the real truth is that these herbal remedies have been well-rooted in the Native American remedial practice for centuries. The Native Americans have developed ‘a wheel’ of herbal and fruit medicines, very similar to the yin & yang of Asian medicine. Actually, the application of herbal remedies [including alternative forms of disease treatment] was ‘cutting-the-edge medicine’ of their day. Here below we reveal a long list of indigenous trees, plants, fruits, and flowers endemic to the North American continent (that is to the northern subcontinent of the Americas). That’s why it is very important to keep and read these ancient Indian records. To be quite honest with you, nobody knows how exactly the Native Americans sorted out which plants have medicinal properties although ‘trial and error’ was probably one possible approach. Here is the list: 1.Alfalfa 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
10 Secrets To Being Charming When design expert Stephen Bayley was but a boy, his headmaster left a word of warning on his last ever school report: "Charm alone will not get him through". As tends to happen when you're critised as a child, the word stuck with him. And now, many years later, he's decided to write a book on that very concept: charm. The result is a informative and fun look at what he calls "one of life’s most desirable assets" , looking at its orgins and meaning throughout history. Here for Esquire, Bayley condenses charm down to 10 basic rules of thumb, so you too can get away with murder. 1 | Treat every single person you meet as if you have been given secret information that they will soon inherit an unwholesomely large fortune. 2 | Wear good shoes. 3 | Don't tell jokes, but laugh at everybody else's. 4 | Be curious and inquisitive, but not intrusive. 5 | Being charming is not all about sex, but quite a lot of it is. 6 | Never complain. 8 | Study George Clooney. 9 | Listen.
24 Cognitive Biases You Need To Stop Making [Infographic] How To Solve A Rubik's Cube In Five Seconds The maximum number of face turns needed to solve the classic Rubik's cube is 20, and the maximum number of quarter turns is 26. It took 30 years to discover these numbers, which were finally proved by Tomas Rokicki and Morley Davidson using a mixture of mathematics and computer calculation. (The puzzle does have 43 quintillion possible configurations after all.) So how did the current world-record holder SeungBeom Cho manage to solve Rubik's cube in under five seconds? Six Deals You Should Know About In Australia Today G'day!