background preloader

The Art of Conversation: Timeless, Timely Do’s and Don’ts from 1866

The Art of Conversation: Timeless, Timely Do’s and Don’ts from 1866
By Maria Popova Manners today are often seen as a quaint subject that belongs in Lord Chesterfield’s outlandish advice on the art of pleasing or Esquire‘s dated guide to dating. But in a culture where we regularly do online what we’d never do in person and behave offline in ways our grandparents wouldn’t have dared dream of even in their most defiant fantasies, there’s something to be said for the lost art of, if not “manners,” politeness and simple respect in communication. Martine contextualizes his mission: Politeness has been defined as an “artificial good-nature;” but it would be better said that good-nature is natural politeness. But he offers an important disclaimer: [Politeness] must be cultivated, for the promptings of nature are eminently selfish, and courtesy and good-breeding are only attainable by effort and discipline. Among Martine’s most timeless advice are his guidelines on the art of conversation, to which an entire section of the book is dedicated. Be selective. Related:  Communication SkillsDear Fire, (Fear & Desire)

The Secret Life of Pronouns: Computational Linguistics and What Our Word Choices Reveal About Us by Maria Popova What the pronouns you use reveal about your thoughts and emotions, or how to liespot your everyday email. We’re social beings wired for communicating with one another, and as new modes and platforms of communication become available to us, so do new ways of understanding the complex patterns, motivations and psychosocial phenomena that underpin that communication. Both a fascinating slice of human psychology and a practical toolkit for deciphering our everyday email exchanges, tweets and Facebook statuses, the research looks at what our choice of words like “I,” “she,” “mine” and “who” reveals about our deeper thoughts, emotions and motivations — and those of the people with whom we communicate. One of the most interesting results was part of a study my students and I conducted dealing with status in email correspondence. Art by Stefanie Posavec from her 'Writing Without Words' project. Scientific American has an excellent interview with Pennebaker: Donating = Loving

Why the Art of Conversation Is Key to Sharing When Jason Simon graduated college, he had little tolerance for others’ beliefs. In hindsight, he pointedly observes, “I was inexperienced and lacked confidence. I thought I knew what truth was – what was in the best interest of humanity – and was resistant to other points of view.” Simon wasn’t aware of his close-mindedness or the effect it had on people until a close buddy told him, “Even your friends are intimidated. They’re afraid to be honest with you, afraid you’ll judge them.” To his credit, Simon did something about it. Jason Simon of Caffeinated Conversations. And today, at 30, he’s made a career out of it. Simon is right: conversation is everything. Conversation is the basic unit of human sharing. Conversation is the engine that drives relationships. Two women enjoying a bit of sun, conversation, and coffee at Madame Rourkes Coffee Shop. Conversations tell us who we are. At its best, conversation is a non-zero-sum game. Two boys talking.

Communication In the realm of biology in general, communication often occurs through visual, auditory, or biochemical means. Human communication is unique for its extensive use of language. Non-human communication is studied in the field of biosemiotics. Nonverbal communication[edit] Verbal communication[edit] Effective verbal or spoken communication is dependent on a number of factors and cannot be fully isolated from other important interpersonal skills such as non-verbal communication, listening skills and clarification. Written communication and its historical development[edit] Over time the forms of and ideas about communication have evolved through the continuing progression of technology. The progression of written communication can be divided into three "information communication revolutions":[3] Communication is thus a process by which meaning is assigned and conveyed in an attempt to create shared understanding. Business communication[edit] Effective communication[edit] Physical barriers.

What Tumblr Is and How To Use It: A Practical Guide You may have noticed a lot of people on Twitter grumbling about Tumblr’s outages, the latest of which started on Saturday and have continued, in sometimes day-long chunks, through today. The social network’s problems come at a time when their userbase is growing rapidly, along with their pageviews, though this stumble threatens to curtail that. “…keeping up with growth has presented more work than our small team was prepared for,” says the staff blog. “But we are determined and focused on bringing our infrastructure well ahead of capacity as quickly as possible.” If you’re not one of Tumblr’s 7.5 million users, you might not even know what the heck it is or why there’s such a fuss. Tumblr is a microblogging site that sits somewhere between Twitter and a traditional blog. Depending on the type of post, Tumblr serves up a different template. Just as with Twitter, users must Follow a Tumblr blog to keep up with it. Tumblr makes link-blogging easy. Tumblr Tips 9 11 Google +6 4

5 Ways to Build Social Skills There is a significant correlation between your social skills and your success in any area of life. With good social skills, it’s easier to make friends, build strong relationships and get ahead in your career. If you lack social skills, it’s important to learn how to build social skills. In this article, I’m going to reveal to you the 5 most effective ways I know for building social skills, based on my experience as a social confidence coach. 1. Developing any ability is largely a matter of practice. By meeting new people, conversing with them and getting to know them, you develop your intuition about people and you gradually become better at attuning to them and building a connection with them. You may be tempted to avoid social interactions because you think you lack social skills, but unfortunately, this only keeps you lacking social skills. 2. It’s not enough to just interact with others. 3. Ask people you know and you trust to give you feedback. 4. 5. Related Articles:

Active listening Active listening is a communication technique used in counselling, training and conflict resolution, which requires the listener to feed back what they hear to the speaker, by way of re-stating or paraphrasing what they have heard in their own words, to confirm what they have heard and moreover, to confirm the understanding of both parties.[citation needed] Comprehending[edit] Comprehension is "shared meaning between parties in a communication transaction". Retaining[edit] Retaining is the second step in the listening process. Responding[edit] Listening is an interaction between speaker and listener. Tactic[edit] Active listening involves the listener observing the speaker's behavior and body language. Individuals in conflict often contradict each other. Use[edit] A listener can use several degrees of active listening, each resulting in a different quality of communication. Active listening can be lifted by the active listening observation scale.[14] Barriers to active listening[edit] Robert F.

The Art of Conversation By Laine Bergeson and Courtney Helgoe / July/August 2012 On a sunny day last fall, Taylor Baldry set up a card table and three folding chairs on a well-traveled street corner in Minneapolis. He stationed a sandwich board nearby that announced “Free Conversations.” Almost immediately, a couple joined him, and they spent the next 20 minutes discussing ghost stories, a topic they selected from Baldry’s menu of conversation options, which on this day ranged from the weather and dinosaurs to “things you can do with an egg.” When the couple left, others sat down, and Baldry spent the afternoon chatting amiably with a steady stream of strangers, doing his part to restore the practice of in-person conversation. Since that October afternoon, Baldry, a performance artist, has taken his Conversationalist project to parks, theaters and other venues in the city, and has learned something about his fellow citizens: People are starved for authentic interactions. How to Start a Conversation Phone-gazing.

How to Be Outgoing: 7 Steps Edit Article Help with Being OutgoingMastering the Art of ConversationThinking Positively, Effectively, and ConfidentlyMaking It EasierBeing a Social Butterfly Edited by Troy, Dan McGillen, BrettCapewell, Falcon Strike and 98 others Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be confident in order to be outgoing. Think about it. Ad Steps Part 1 of 4: Mastering the Art of Conversation 1Foster your curiosity about people. 9Note your body language. Part 2 of 4: Thinking Positively, Effectively, and Confidently 1Want it...for the right reasons. 7Think of past successes. Part 3 of 4: Making It Easier 1Set goals. 7Take risks. Part 4 of 4: Being a Social Butterfly

The strength of ‘weak signals’ As information thunders through the digital economy, it’s easy to miss valuable “weak signals” often hidden amid the noise. Arising primarily from social media, they represent snippets—not streams—of information and can help companies to figure out what customers want and to spot looming industry and market disruptions before competitors do. Sometimes, companies notice them during data-analytics number-crunching exercises. Or employees who apply methods more akin to art than to science might spot them and then do some further number crunching to test anomalies they’re seeing or hypotheses the signals suggest. Engaging at the top For starters, given the fluid nature of the insights that surface, it’s often useful to get senior leaders actively involved with the social-media sources that give rise to weak signals. To find out, the executive commissioned research to quantify what had started out as a qualitative hunch. Listening and mapping Spotting visual clues Crossing functions

100 Great Tips to Improve Your Life | LifeRemix This post was written by Leo Babauta of Zen Habits Most of us are interested in improving something about ourselves: our productivity, our sanity, our organization, our happiness, our effectiveness, our impact on the environment, our minds, our dreams. And you can spend hundreds of dollars on books and thousands of hours on websites looking for your answers. Or you can look no further, as we've collected 100 of the best tips on all of these subjects -- a massive resource list that is almost guaranteed to have something of use for everyone. This list is an introduction to the blogs of LifeRemix.net, taking a sample of some of the best tips from each of the blogs in the network: Black Belt Productivity, Behance, Cranking Widgets, Dumb Little Man, Happiness Project, LifeClever, LifeDev, No Impact Man, Pick the Brain, Success From the Nest, Tim Ferriss' Four Hour Workweek, Unclutterer, WiseBread, Zen Habits. Will all of these tips work for you?

ProSocial PROSOCIAL is a framework for improving the efficacy of groups that is being developed by the Evolution Institute. It is based on eight core design principles that are needed by most groups whose members must work together to achieve common goals: Strong group identity and understanding of purpose.Fair distribution of costs and benefits.Fair and inclusive decision-making.Monitoring agreed-upon behaviors.Graduated sanctions for misbehaviors.Fast and fair conflict resolution.Authority to self-govern.Appropriate relations with other groups. These principles were initially derived by Elinor Ostrom, a political scientist by training, for groups that were attempting to manage common-pool resources. The fact that groups possessing these design features were capable of managing their own affairs was so new against the background of received economic wisdom that Ostrom was awarded the Nobel Prize in economics in 2009.

Mastering the Art of Conversation—The Complete Idiot’s Quick Guide Whether you want to win over a roomful of people, exchange important ideas, or simply have an interesting talk with the person sitting next to you at a party or other gathering, good conversation is a critical social skill. Even if you weren’t born with the gift of gab, mastering the art of conversation can be easier than you think—if you use a few simple tips and techniques for breaking the ice and communicating with others. Conversation Starters Getting the ball rolling can be the trickiest part of any conversation. Here are a few tips to take the lead in starting a good conversation: Introduce yourself. Keeping the Conversation Going After you’ve kicked off the conversation, the real communication begins. Listen. Bringing the Conversation to an End Wrapping up a conversation takes some social skill, as well. Use a polite cue. Mastering the art of conversation takes a bit of practice, but it offers many rewards. by Dr.

Related: