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Rape and response to rape

Rape and response to rape
By the by, I consistently use that title because I mean for it to operate as a trigger warning. I write a lot about rape, but sometimes I write about other things, and I don’t want anybody taken off-guard transitioning from “help computer” into wtf rape-talk. Case you were wondering. I was re-reading my five billion goddamn posts about rape and force, and I realized (surprise!) there is a more succinct way for me to express what I was thinking. I tend to go on and on, circling a subject, trying to get out everything in my head that possibly relates to it, and then sometimes find I didn’t really address the subject at all. If women are raised being told by parents, teachers, media, peers, and all surrounding social strata that: If we teach women that there are only certain ways they may acceptably behave, we should not be surprised when they behave in those ways. And we should not be surprised when they behave these ways during attempted or completed rapes. You could follow the rules. Related:  Viol et culture du violRape culture

The Creepiness Question | shattersnipe Trigger warning: predatory behaviour, creepiness, sexual assault. Yesterday, I read this account of creepy stalking behaviour retold by a woman whose husband had witnessed it first-hand and subsequently described the incident to her in detail. During the course of her husband’s recitation, the woman asked him what she refers to as The Question, capitalised because, once asked, he stopped seeing the creeper as simply being awkward and inappropriate and started seeing him as frightening and potentially dangerous. And as I was reading, something clicked in my head regarding an incident which, approximately sixteen years ago, left me deeply unsettled, and which continues to unsettle me in memory. I don’t remember my precise age, though ten seems the best guess: certainly, I was no older than eleven, and I doubt I was younger than eight. To my child’s perception, he was a youthful-looking adult; in memory, I’d say he was in his twenties. “Hello, Philippa,” he said. I felt uneasy. Like this:

Parler à en crever A l'été 2012, deux stars de l'équipe de football de Steubenville aux Etats-Unis violent une jeune fille en plein coma éthylique. Le viol a été filmé et transmis sur les réseaux sociaux et commenté en temps réel. Un garçon présent sur la video pourrait être poursuivi pour non dénonciation de crime. Sur la video, la victime est décrite comme une morte qu'on viole et sur laquelle on urine. Rehtaeh Parsons était une jeune canadienne de 17 ans. Audrie Mott avait 15 ans. Culture du viol. Je vous vois hausser les yeux au ciel. okay. Est-ce que cela tient encore l'excuse du "m'enfin on condamne tous le viol". Est ce qu'on condamne tous le viol quand une femme sur 5 sera victime au cours de sa vie de violence sexuelle. Et les Etats-Unis c'est loin aussi ; ils sont tous tarés là-bas. La vérité est qu'on ne condamne pas le viol. Laide ? Et si on se posait simplement la question.

A woman walks into a rape, uh, bar « Fugitivus A woman walks into a rape, uh, bar. She rapes the rapist, “Hey, rape kind of rape do you think I should rape?” The rapist rapes, “Don’t ask rape! Ha ha ha ha ha! Welcome to a post about rape jokes. Let me tell you a thing you might not know: the inability to hear rape “jokes” without flashbacks, Hulk rage, and “air quotes” is one of the enduring parting gifts of a rapist. Here is how this goes: It is a lovely summer day. One of your friends says, “But isn’t that actually a benefit of the Army? Several options flash through your head. Say Nothing. All us Raped And Very Excitable types (RAVE! As far as I can tell, the “joke” is usually that it wasn’t really rape at all, or it wasn’t a “real” rape, or it was a fun rape, or it was a deserved rape. A note about nervous laughter. At some point, our teacher started to talk about lynchings. Though not all. That was a bit of a side tangent, but I think it’s got some similarities. And before it comes up: ignorance is not a defense. Now tell me a joke.

Original Essay: The Not Rape Epidemic *Trigger Warning* Latoya’s Note: So, as promised, here’s the original version of the essay that appears in Yes Means Yes. If you see this popping up in your reader, I do not recommend you read it at work. Rape is only four letters, one small syllable, and yet it is one of the hardest words to coax from your lips when you need it most. Entering our teenage years in the sex saturated ’90s, my friends and I knew tons about rape. Yes, we learned a lot about rape. What we were not prepared for was everything else. Not rape was all those other little things that we experienced everyday and struggled to learn how to deal with those situations. When I was twelve, my best friend at the time had met a guy and lied to him about her age. Another friend of mine friend shocked me one day after a guy (man really) walked past us and she broke down into a sobbing heap where we stood. Later, I found out that she was at school when she met her future abuser/baby daddy. “I can do whatever I want to you.”

I bet you think you’re not a rapist… | feministborgia **Trigger Warning** I bet you think you’re not a rapist. No hiding in a dark alley for you..but remember that girl who was so drunk she could barely stand. You know she wouldn’t have said yes sober. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. I bet you think you’re not a rapist. Like this: Like Loading... [ Trigger warning ] Tu seras violée meuf. | Le Cerebro D’abord, il y a eu les coups et les humiliations. Ça a duré longtemps, ce fut très long. Il y a eu les tribunaux et la première fois : la peur de mourir après l’étranglement. Les étoiles qui dansent et le ciel qui devient jaune. En tant que féministe, on parle beaucoup du viol, du harcèlement, des agressions. Ce soir là, je devais partir en voyage scolaire. Tu vas crever. Tu vas crever parce que même si on se remet d’un viol, tu en as marre. Alors, je suis en colère. Et moi, je voudrais juste faire exploser cette bulle sourde de colère et de « pourquoi ?

What We Talk About When We Talk About Rape This week, as WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was taken into custody by Interpol on charges of sexual assault, and pundits right, left, and center got busy painting the accusations as frivolous and the accusers as lying, scheming sluts, I joined a small but dedicated chorus of feminist voices calling for a serious inquiry into the charges. We didn't do it because we support government secrecy or because we agree with the vicious international campaign to silence Assange. We didn't do it because we're masochists who like to get into fights on the Internet. We did it because once rape charges break into the news cycle, lives depend on what gets said about them. I have no way of knowing whether Assange is guilty as charged. It's also obvious that the timing and ferocity of Interpol's prosecution of Assange is politically motivated. Had the backlash against Assange's arrest focused on Interpol's hypocrisy, my colleagues and I would have been free to join and strengthen that critique.

Lady Robots: The Shape of Things to Come On So, here's another story for you. It's grimmer than the last one, but we tell it almost as often. It goes like this: She's perfect. She's perfect because we made her perfect; because everything about her is entirely within our control. She's your long-lost love, your new and improved wife; she's the girl you never got over, or the girl you could never have. The fear of robots is the fear of the twentieth century. For one thing, we have to include them because people will seriously not stop making sexy robot girls. “She can’t vacuum, she can’t cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,” said Douglas Hines of Roxxxy. The fembot, and the weird but unignorable demand for it, so precisely encapsulates the worst fears of women that it's maybe inevitable that women are finding ways to rewrite and inhabit her. Let's start with one of the first robot girls on film: The central character in Fritz Lang's Metropolis. But the hot robot villain keeps coming back.

Les mythes autour du viol EDIT ; certains commentaire peuvent être très choquants surtout pour les victimes de viol et d'agressions sexuelles. je choisis de les laisser en connaissance de cause car ils illustrent souvent notre propos. Les mythes autour du viol désignent les croyances entourant le viol, les victimes et les coupables. On les définit par des attitudes et croyances fausses mais profondément et constamment entretenues qui servent à nier et à justifier le viol. Ces mythes servent à décrédibiliser la personne violée et à excuser le violeur. Ainsi le comportement passé d'une victime peut servir à justifier qu'elle a cherché ce qui lui est arrivé. Avant de vous jeter tête baissée sur les commentaires, merci de prendre la peine de lire intégralement l'article et les liens associés. Buddie et Miller dans Beyond rape myths: A more complex view of perceptions of rape victims. Plus ces mythes sont acceptés et partagés collectivement, plus on y croit individuellement et plus l'on risque de violer.

[French] Partie 5 : Les mythes sur le viol dans les médias Partie 5 : Comment se transmettent les mythes sur les viols ? Zoom sur les médias. Partie 1 : Quels sont ces mythes ? Qui y adhère ? Partie 2 : Les conséquences pour la victime Partie 3 : Les mythes sur le viol restreignent la liberté des femmes Partie 4 : Les mythes sur le viol augmentent la propension au viol Dans les articles précédents, nous avons pu voir ce qu’était les mythes à propos du viol (des idées comme « elle n’avait qu’à pas sortir habillée comme ça », « une femme qui dit non, pense oui »…) ainsi que leurs conséquences, individuellement, sur le rétablissement des victimes, et collectivement sur la liberté des femmes. Dans cette 5ème et dernière partie, je vais évoquer la façon dont se transmettent ces idées reçues délétères. Les médias véhiculent beaucoup de croyances infondées sur le viol L’acceptation des mythes sur le viol comme norme Les normes sont des règles comprises par les membres d’un groupe et qui guident ou contraignent le comportement1. En conclusion BONUS : Petit Jeu

Predator Theory A guest-post by Thomas. [Trigger Warning, this entire discussion is about rape, rapists, rape methodology and rape-supportive culture] Readers of Yes Means Yes Blog may notice that this largely duplicates my prior writing on Lisak, and I have lifted passages of my own earlier posts wholesale. Though the stranger rape remains entrenched as the paradigm of “real” rape, of rape that is recognized as such, it is not actually the norm. As most readers of feminist blogs know, acquaintance rapes are by far the more prevalent. In this area, understanding badly lags, and relatively recent research could change the understanding of exactly how acquaintance rapes happen, who commits them, and why. Though the term is mine and not Lisak’s, the substance of the research can be summarized by the title of this post. Large Surveys of Undetected Rapists I am aware of two large-sample surveys of undetected rapists. Lisak & Miller Lisak & Miller set out to answer two questions: Lisak & Miller at p. 74.

Come for the Pizza, Stay for the Deconstruction of Masculinity One Thursday last month, during the lunch hour at H.D. Woodson Senior High School, half a dozen teenage boys have gathered to eat pizza and talk about hollering at women. “From where I come from, you holler at a girl,” one student tells the group. “A girl can’t be too upset when a guy is paying attention to her.” “It depends on the type of girl and whether she has respect for herself,” another says. “Some girls will say, stop. “But what if it’s hot out?” “What if all her other shorts are dirty? Getting teenage boys to engage in gender theory can require a soft approach. Griffin facilitates two MOST club meetings a day at nine different DCPS schools. Thus Griffin has become accustomed to addressing thorny concepts in abbreviated time frames. Griffin doesn’t just stroll into D.C. public schools with a pizza and start engaging boys on topics like rape. In order to illustrate what that means, Griffin performs an exercise he calls “The Real Man.” Photo via Darrow Montgomery

Je ne supporte plus vos abjections au sujet du viol *Les passages en italique correspondent aux commentaires cités Donc il y a ce passage (1/9 du texte) de mon dernier article qui relate qu'après avoir passé la soirée avec un groupe de mecs que je ne connaissais pas très bien, j'ai préféré partir malgré le froid et le fait que je n'avais nulle part où aller (Le texte se déroule à une époque où j'étais SDF, vous pouvez le lire ici pour mieux comprendre de quoi il s'agit), et puis y'a ce commentaire d'un courageux anonyme qui tombe. Il chouine parce que je suis trop méchante d'assimiler groupe de mecs et viol, et que putain, il en a marre de toujours lire ce genre d'histoires où les relations humaines sont réduites à des coups. Moi, ce que je vois, comme toujours, c'est que dès qu'on évoque un groupe de mecs, on entend baise, voir viol. L'abjection du commentaire fait réagir, et quelques réponses bien senties apparaissent... Oh oh calmez vous un peu hein. Nous avons tous une responsabilité dans la pérennisation de la culture du viol.