6 Reasons The Guy Who's Fixing Your Computer Hates You By my calculations, about 96 percent of all computer repairs are done, not by the local computer guy or the Geek Squad, but by The Friend Who is Good With Computers. Often that friend is nothing more than an average computer user who knows how to look up error messages on Google, but it doesn't matter -- once they become known as TFWIGWC, they will get the call every time something goes wrong. And they will fix it, probably for free, because TFWIGWC pities you. Still, any time a bunch of TFWIGWCs get together and share their computer repair horror stories, you learn that there are certain things their "customers" do that make them want to ram their head through a wall. So, before I touch your computer, friend who may or may not do me a favor in return for this free repair job, here's what you should know: #6. This computer is yours. Photos.comThis is how it's gonna go down, chief. At this point I will drive over, again, imagining myself slamming the owner's dick in his own laptop. #5. #4.
THEY'RE HERE! 2010 DARWIN AWARDS - You've been waiting for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the 2010 Darwin Awards. Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys. Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. Sixth Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Fourth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. Third Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.
M and M's Combat Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. There can be only one.
Mayor runs over illegally parked car in tank This is the incredible moment a frustrated mayor drives an armoured vehicle over a MERCEDES – for parking in a cycle lane. Arturas Zuokas, 43, took the drastic action after becoming infuriated with motorists parking their luxury cars illegally around the Lithuanian capital of Vilnius. The flamboyant politician decided to take the novel approach of fighting illegally parked cars by driving over them in a Russian tank. He said: ”I wanted to send a clear message that people with big and expensive cars can’t park wherever they feel like and ignore the rights of pedestrians and bike riders. ”It shows a lack of respect and won’t be tolerated. The shocked owner of the Mercedes was photographed exiting a shop to find his German saloon destroyed by the smartly dressed civic leader. The car was later crushed. Tags: motoring Category: News
A DIALOGUE WITH SARAH, AGED 3: IN WHICH IT IS SHOWN THAT IF YOUR DAD IS A CHEMISTRY PROFESSOR, ASKING “WHY” CAN BE DANGEROUS SARAH: Daddy, were you in the shower? DAD: Yes, I was in the shower. SARAH: Why? DAD: I was dirty. DAD: Why does the shower get me clean? SARAH: Yes. DAD: Because the water washes the dirt away when I use soap. DAD: Why do I use soap? DAD: Because the soap grabs the dirt and lets the water wash it off. DAD: Why does the soap grab the dirt? DAD: Because soap is a surfactant. DAD: Why is soap a surfactant? DAD: That is an EXCELLENT question. DAD: Why does soap form micelles? DAD: Soap molecules are long chains with a polar, hydrophilic head and a non-polar, hydrophobic tail. SARAH: Aidrofawwic DAD: And can you say ‘hydrophobic’? DAD: Excellent! DAD: Why does it mean that? DAD: It’s Greek! SARAH: Like a monster? DAD: You mean, like being afraid of a monster? DAD: A scary monster, sure. (pause) SARAH: (rolls her eyes) I thought we were talking about soap. DAD: We are talking about soap. (longish pause) DAD: Why do the molecules have a hydrophilic head and a hydrophobic tail? DAD: That’s complicated.
Fake speed camera birdhouse slows cars, pisses off authorities Ian Magee was sick of people speeding past his house at double the speed limit, so he installed this fake speed camera in a really conspicuous spot on his property. What's really clever, is that Magee didn't just put up a dummy speed camera, he made it into a real working bird feeder, allowing the critters to get in where the lens would normally be. In England where Magee lives, speed cameras are all of a similar design, so drivers are used to keeping an eye out for them as they drive. While the local cops say they have no problem with the box, the town council says it is "unnecessary clutter" even though it's on private land, and have ordered him to take it down. Daily Mail, via Treehugger Pokemon's Ten Most Disturbing Pokedex Entries Last week, Pokemon Black and White were finally released in America as the two latest installments of the long-running video game franchise. It’s something I’ve been looking forward to since it was announced, to the point where I’ve been reading through the Pokedex — the official in-game database that describes all 649 Pokemon — and in doing so, I’ve discovered something: For a game made for children about adorable monsters, there’s a lot of really disturbing stuff in Pokemon. Okay, okay, admittedly: It’s a game made for children about adorable monsters who are sent out to fight each other for the enjoyment of their owners like gladiators battling at the pleasure of a ten year-old Caligula. That’s why today, ComicsAlliance is wandering through the tall grass to bring you the Ten Most Disturbing (and Completely Official) Entries in the Pokedex! At first glance, it doesn’t look like there could possibly be anything creepy about Delibird. Here’s what the Pokedex has to say about Delibird:
Bill Nye Boo'd In Texas For Saying The Moon Reflects The Sun Bill Nye, the harmless children's edu-tainer known as "The Science Guy," managed to offend a select group of adults in Waco, Texas at a presentation, when he suggested that the moon does not emit light, but instead reflects the light of the sun. As even most elementary-school graduates know, the moon reflects the light of the sun but produces no light of its own. But don't tell that to the good people of Waco, who were "visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence," according to the Waco Tribune. Nye was in town to participate in McLennan Community College's Distinguished Lecture Series. But nothing got people as riled as when he brought up Genesis 1:16, which reads: "God made two great lights -- the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. The lesser light, he pointed out, is not a light at all, but only a reflector. At this point, several people in the audience stormed out in fury.
Introducing Google- If you haven’t been invited to Google+ (don’t you just love the elitist nature of being invited to a social network) you’re not missing much. Google+ is like Facebook’s strange younger brother who wears sandals with dress pants because he desperately wants to look hip. It’s just another social networking site that your parents won’t understand. In a matter of days, misinformed talk shows will profile the site and explained how it directly leads to drug use, teen pregnancy, turtle flu, and Super Communism. But we all know the truth: It’s nothing exciting. It won’t make you happier. So, Google+, we’re not sure how we feel about you yet. We are, however, excited about Google-. Google- Features: Helping Hand Google- can predict not only the word you’re trying to spell, but the rest of the sentence. Photo Sharing When you tag yourself in a photo, Google- will email the photo to your parents or guardians. New Relationship Statuses Google- realizes that categorizing relationships is tricky.