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Raising a Moral Child

Raising a Moral Child
Photo What does it take to be a good parent? We know some of the tricks for teaching kids to become high achievers. For example, research suggests that when parents praise effort rather than ability, children develop a stronger work ethic and become more motivated. Yet although some parents live vicariously through their children’s accomplishments, success is not the No. 1 priority for most parents. We’re much more concerned about our children becoming kind, compassionate and helpful. Despite the significance that it holds in our lives, teaching children to care about others is no simple task. Are some children simply good-natured — or not? Genetic twin studies suggest that anywhere from a quarter to more than half of our propensity to be giving and caring is inherited. By age 2, children experience some moral emotions — feelings triggered by right and wrong. But is that the right approach? The researchers randomly assigned the children to receive different types of praise. Related:  Family, parenting and kidsfor parentsRaising Kids

10 places that would be better if kids were banned 2. Trains Crying in a confined space. Kicking seats. Running up and down the aisles. It’s the same problem as planes, but without the novelty of air travel to shut them up, the in-flight entertainment system to plug them into and the free booze to numb your pain. 3. Swearing loudly at the ref/opposition/your own team is never as much fun when there’s little ears around to traumatise and protective dads to shrug apologetically at. 4. Why do some hippie parents think it’s a good idea to take their offspring to a large field full of loud music, alcohol, sex and drugs? 5. Come on, have you ever tried driving with a kid on the back seat? The Scandi-smug labyrinthine hellhole is bad enough already, without adding bored kids to the mix, clambering all over the room sets and knocking over lamps, while their parents bicker their way into a loveless marriage illuminated only by cheap tea lights. 7. 8. Bright lights + boredom + lots of things they can’t have = tantrums. 9. 10.

Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 A list of parenting action items, created in the hope that we can raise a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. The ongoing horror of rape in the news, from Penn State to the young women raped and killed in India to Steubenville, has proven to be a wake-up call for many parents. We always knew that rape was a problem, but never before have we been so mobilized to create change. As writers, educators, and advocates of sex-positivity and healthy consent, the four of us have been inundated with requests from parents for advice on how to help create a future with less rape and sexual assault. We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. We hope parents and educators find this list of action items and teaching tools helpful, and that together we can help create a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives. Sincerely, 1. 2. 3. 4.

10 Common Mistakes Parents Today Make (Me Included) | Kari Kubiszyn Kampakis When I became a mom, I got lots of advice on how to love my child. But not until a few years ago did someone actually point out that loving a child means wanting what's best for them long-term. When my four daughters were young, long-term didn't resonate with me. Back then it was about survival, meeting daily needs and keeping my head above water. Now that my kids are maturing, however, the fog is lifting. I'm no longer a pledge of parenting, but rather an indoctrinated member. These days, I put more thought into long-term. A while back I came across some interesting articles and books that dig into what psychologists today are seeing: a rising number of 20-somethings who are depressed and don't know why. One reason given is that parents today are too quick to swoop in. One article mentions incoming college freshmen known to deans as "teacups" for their fragility in the face of minor problems. Here's psychiatrist Paul Bohn's response, as paraphrased in the piece: Like Us On Facebook |

Dear Friends With Kids: Don't Drop Me Because I'm Childless This is kind of how it feels, old friends. A piece published by the Huffington Post entitled “Once We Become Parents We Don’t Want to Hang Out With You Anymore (But Not For The Reasons You Think)” has gone viral over the past few days. I know, I know, throw a stone and you’ll find a piece on the internet going viral. This one caught my eye because it so firmly divided parents and childless adults into “Them” and “Us” camps. While there are universal truths in this piece (kids are a handful and require superhuman amounts of attention and love, check and check) there are also a lot unfair assumptions. I love when my friends become parents. On behalf of childless friends, we feel left out.

25 Ways To Ask Your Kids How Was School Today This year Simon is in 4th grade and Grace is in 1st grade and I find myself asking them every day after school, “So how was school today?”. And everyday I get an answer like “fine” or “good” which doesn’t tell me a whole lot. Or at get at least a full sentence. So the other night I sat down and made a list of more engaging questions to ask about school. #1. #2. #3. #4. #5. #6. #7. #8. #9. #10. #11. #12. #13. #14. #15. #16. #17. #18. #19. #20. #21. #22. #23. #24. #25. So far…my favorite answers have come from questions #12. #15, and #21. I actually love questions like the “alien” one (#12). And the answers we get are sometimes really surprising. Sometimes we just need to figure out the right kinds of questions to ask our children….some questions may work better for some kids than others. And, as my kids get older I know that I am going to have to work harder and harder to stay engaged with them…but I know its going to be worth the work… -liZ

The Trouble With Bright Girls Successful women know only too well that in any male-dominated profession, we often find ourselves at a distinct disadvantage. We are routinely underestimated, underutilized, and even underpaid. Studies show that women need to perform at extraordinarily high levels, just to appear moderately competent compared to our male coworkers. But in my experience, smart and talented women rarely realize that one of the toughest hurdles they'll have to overcome to be successful lies within. Chances are good that if you are a successful professional today, you were a pretty bright fifth grade girl. She found that bright girls, when given something to learn that was particularly foreign or complex, were quick to give up--and the higher the girls' IQ, the more likely they were to throw in the towel. Why does this happen? How do girls and boys develop these different views? Boys, on the other hand, are a handful.

Don't Help Your Kids With Their Homework - Dana Goldstein And other insights from a ground- breaking study of how parents impact children’s academic achievement One of the central tenets of raising kids in America is that parents should be actively involved in their children’s education: meeting with teachers, volunteering at school, helping with homework, and doing a hundred other things that few working parents have time for. These obligations are so baked into American values that few parents stop to ask whether they’re worth the effort. Until this January, few researchers did, either. In the largest-ever study of how parental involvement affects academic achievement, Keith Robinson, a sociology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and Angel L. What they found surprised them. Do you review your daughter’s homework every night? Similarly, students whose parents frequently meet with teachers and principals don’t seem to improve faster than academically comparable peers whose parents are less present at school.

Fighting Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter. It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts tantrumming again. Twelve year old girls can be moody, over-dramatizing, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents. They can, of course, also be mature, affectionate and delightful, but at their worst they’re a cross between the most challenging aspects of toddlers and teens. The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you, because she's working hard to feel "grown up" and independent. Tips to make parenting your tween girl less drama, and more delight: 1) Be willing to change. 2) Focus on the relationship, not on discipline.

The Rules Making sense of race and privilege By Lawrence Otis Graham ’83 Published in the October 8, 2014, issue Michael Falco/Black Star Lawrence Otis Graham ’83 I knew the day would come, but I didn’t know how it would happen, where I would be, or how I would respond. It is the moment that every black parent fears: the day their child is called a nigger. My wife and I, both African-Americans, constitute one of those Type A couples with Ivy League undergraduate and graduate degrees, who, for many years, believed that if we worked hard and maintained great jobs, we could insulate our children from the blatant manifestations of bigotry that we experienced as children in the 1960s and ’70s. But it happened nevertheless in July, when I was 100 miles away. Family photo: Christine Butler The Graham family at home “Are you the only nigger at Mellon Academy*?” Certain that he had not heard them correctly, my son moved closer to the curb, and asked politely, “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you ... ” My son froze. Dr.

Dear Mr Gove: You are too unexpert to determine young people's reading | Michael Rosen My daughter will be doing an exam in three years' time which will have your fingerprints all over it. This is bizarre. I used to think that when I went into the voting booth at a general election I was doing something general. I now know that in 2015, I will be taking part in a process that will decide something as detailed and specific as what book my daughter will have to read for her GCSE. Though I disagree with your policies on academies and free schools, and even though I'm not sure I ever took part in an election where this huge change was flagged up, I can accept that the party that won the most votes thinks that what you're doing is a good idea. This is nothing more than your pet project to yoke literature to the British flag. Books do not pass between us according to national or linguistic borders. To tell the truth, I find the whole notion of you, the ministry and even exam boards laying down the law about set texts fairly obnoxious. "The horror! Yours, Michael Rosen

Regular naps are 'key to learning' 12 January 2015Last updated at 20:54 ET By James Gallagher Health editor, BBC News website The key to learning and memory in early life is a lengthy nap, say scientists. Trials with 216 babies up to 12 months old indicated they were unable to remember new tasks if they did not have a lengthy sleep soon afterwards. The University of Sheffield team suggested the best time to learn may be just before sleep and emphasised the importance of reading at bedtime. Experts said sleep may be much more important in early years than at other ages. People spend more of their time asleep as babies than at any other point in their lives. Yet the researchers, in Sheffield and Ruhr University Bochum, in Germany, say "strikingly little is known" about the role of sleep in the first year of life. Learn, sleep, repeat They taught six- to 12-month-olds three new tasks involving playing with hand puppets. Dr Jane Herbert performing the study The next day, the babies were encouraged to repeat what they had been taught.

Dog ETA: 3 Quick Ways to Assess Friendliness Walking in a local park yesterday with a client and her sweet pup, a dog came toward us.The two dogs met and had a happy, mutual exchange. Another dog headed our way; I instantly nixed any contact using my simple Dog ETA assessment. ETA = Estimated Time to Aggression. Actually, it stands for Eyes, Tail and Alignment. There are lots of subtleties and exceptions but this how I make real-life decisions. Eyes Staring ain’t caring. The dog pictured here is showing ETA posture I avoid See how intently this dog is staring? This is not a dog I would allow Pip to greet. I hope the Dog ETA allows you to enjoy your dog walks more and feel more confident about your choices. Pat your dog for me. *This is NOT a breed thing. Related: Protection from Loose Dogs: What I Carry