Water is dangerous This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. He feels the conclusion is obvious.
Half-Naked Male Stripper Works the Pole on the Subway Sorry, sweetie. I see I touched a nerve with my comments. Are you a subway dancer? How exciting! Tell me, Matt, at what age did you first begin to lust for the pole? You made your way home, much to your moms disappointment, and saved your allowance for a speedo i'll bet. Or was it because you already had scabies and chlamydia so you decided, what the hell, why not roll around on the floor of a subway car?? Or was it the naughty thrill of putting your hands and face all over a pole thinly glazed with human sweat and fecal matter?? So many good reasons!! Take it from a person who showers regularly and does not spend any percentage of my day on the floor of a public transportation vehicle, people are, believe it or not, rather comfortable around me. They do not, for example, turn to me and inquire, "Is it me, sir, or do you smell like a homeless mans foreskin?" All in a days work though, right Matt?
Todd Lamb Notes From Chris Gallery Welcome to the “ Notes From Chris” gallery. These are notes that I post around New York City from a mysterious man named Chris. Chris wants to do tedious things with people. He also has lots of problems. “ Notes From Chris” is a project started by Todd Lamb in 2008. See a YouTube video of the notes being read on stage in NYC and an interview in the Village Voice . Dear blank, please blank Wenn man nicht aufpasst, kann es passieren, dass man ohne es zu merken gleich mehrere Stunden auf der “Dear blank, please blank” Homepage verbringt. Wenn ich nicht so vorsichtig wär, würde ich wahrscheinlich jetzt noch dasitzen und eine lustige Kurznachricht nach der anderen lesen. Wer von euch ausreichend Zeit hat, sollte sich die Seite nicht entgehen lassen. Es ist jedoch besser die Finger davon zu lassen, wenn man noch bei der Arbeit ist. Für diejenigen habe ich hier eine kurze Light-Version zusammengestellt: Die Karten sind hier im Etsy Shop für jeweils 4,50 Dollar erhältlich.
So That Happened Tonight at the supermarket I found myself behind a pretty girl in the checkout line. The universe hates me. Like this story? Did you know I have a book coming out? Jenny vs. Spencer JENNY vs. SPENCER: SPENCER RESPONDS! I'm sure that everyone has seen Jenny quitting via dry-erase board, but now Jenny's mysterious boss has responded the same way. Marc Johns: Drawings on paper towels I did these two below in a Starbucks washroom: New to the site? Look at some more nonsense drawings here. I originally posted these paper towel drawings about 2 years ago to Flickr and Vox, long before I had this site. They have since turned up on a number of blogs (and now tweeted by Ashton Kutcher and Rainn Wilson, and blogged by Urban Outfitters and Alltop), so I thought I'd get in on my own action and post them here. Oh, and one of these photos appears in Rainn Wilson's book Soul Pancake.
25 Great Calvin and Hobbes Strips. Why Bill Watterson is our hero. We've re-launched Progressive Boink, friends! Our new front page is here. Hope you enjoy. Hundreds of comic strips have been published in newspapers. And it's really a shame that it's so difficult to quantify this strip's greatness. Calvin and Hobbes ran from 1985 to 1995. "Virtue needs some cheaper thrills." © Universal Press Syndicate Calvin is an unbelievably intelligent six-year-old. It's kind of refreshing to see a strip that doesn't feel the need to have an uplifting message, or feel like it needs to point out that it's mean to whack an innocent person upside the dome with a snowball. - Jon "He's one of the old gods! One of the top classic Calvin strips. - Bill "You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system." Pretty much the voice of Bill Watterson dictating the current state of our school systems. - Nick "We prefer your extinction to the loss of our job." Hobbes' bizarre reply is the icing on the cake. - Jon "It's psychosomatic.
The Funniest Police Blotters Ever Printed from Oh, News! If there was ever a reason to save newspapers (and print media in general, I guess), it's the police blotter. Idiots keep breaking the law and someone has to keep track. (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via) (via)
The Dwight Schrute Knows Best Meme Oh Dwight, you are the best thing to happen to the US version of The Office. The wry second-in-command at the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin is famous for his obscure knowledge and comically literal interpretation of… well… everything. And so the Dwight Schrute Knows Best meme or simply, the Dwight Schrute meme was born: Enjoy the Dwight Schrute meme? Check out Part 2: The Return Of The Schrute Meme and Schrute Facts.