Gaslighting | SociopathLife.Com “That is not what I said” “Your crazy, that never happened” “are you sure? you know your memory is not always right” “that’s all in your head” Do any of these statements sound familiar? Some of the methods of Gaslighting are: Deflection- they will deflect questions off of them and in turn make you question the accuracy of thoughts and/or memory- “why would you ask that? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. If you can answer Yes to these, you are/have been a victim of gaslighting. “THE EDGE, there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.” hunter s. thompson ©SociopathLife.Com gaslighting list credit: Robin Stern,PhD Like this: Like Loading...
15 Ways to Stay Married for 15 Years Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary. I really love Dan, and I am proud of how awesome our marriage is. We certainly haven’t killed each other yet. When Dan and I got married, we were 25 years old. 1. The old maxim that you shouldn’t go to bed mad is stupid. 2. In any fight, there is one person who is really mad, and one person who isn’t that mad. 3. Here is a fact: Whatever critical thing that you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. 4. Your husband is the mirror in which you see yourself. 5. Let your spouse hear you talking about them in glowing terms to other people. 6. Dan races bicycles. 7. Kids stop you from being as crazy as you want to be. 8. You’ve got all the time in the world to get really really good, not just at sex in general, but at having sex with your one particular husband. 9. Live in different houses. 10. Marriage is not conditional. 11. Leave your ex boyfriends and girlfriends alone. 12. 13. 14. 15. What about you?
Relationship Rules Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so. It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. Because I care about these things, and care about the environments children grow in, I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem—again. From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. Choose a partner wisely and well. 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. Here are some ideas to get you started: Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Update: Read our follow-up to this post: 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself Photo by: Rob Brucker
Ending the Toxic Relationship and Giving Yourself Time and Space to Find Yourself | The Invisible Scar photo credit: AmyJanelle Some relationships are deeply damaging and unhealthy for the people within the relationship. Unlike healthy relationships, which have peaks and lows, which have struggles now and then, a toxic relationship is poison to the people involved. But what happens if the toxic relationship is within the family sphere? Imagine your daughter telling you that every time she was with her boyfriend, he insulted her, gaslit her, made her feel small and insignificant, mocked her interests, tried to change her personality, deprived her of what she loved, cut her off when she was speaking, demanded her to always agree with him, ignored her when she differed in opinion, expected only adoration, and left her feeling stressed-out, sick to her stomach, and emotionally wounded. Would you tell that daughter to continue seeing that boyfriend? No. The excuse of “being blood” or “being family” is no excuse. When Is a Relationship Toxic? You Don’t Want to Be Abused Anymore… So Now What?
Great Love What are the signs of love? What does real love look like and feel like? You want a love story of your own that will last, but how do you know when you really found “the one“? We all know couples that just seem to fit together, to dote on each other, to have a relationship that is totally unaffected by what goes on around them. What is it about them that makes us all recognize we are seeing a good marriage? Well, there are certain factors that couples who claim deep satisfaction with their spouse and marriage have in common, and if you can see yourself and your relationship described here, chances are extremely good that you have a keeper. 1. 2.You look forward to seeing him. 3. 4.You care about each others feelings, thoughts, and interests. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
8 Self-Love Rituals To Change Your Life (#8 May Surprise You) - Your Own Life “You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” ― C. JoyBell C. Beginning a journey to self-love will be the most important journey in your life. Loving yourself is a lot like loving a partner. So, how can we do this? 1. What do you do when you first wake up? 2. Sure, it’s easy to book a massage with a therapist, but when was the last time you gave yourself a massage? 3. Just like meditation unclutters the mind, getting rid of the physical items you no longer need can also help with clearing the thoughts toward yourself. 4. Photo Credit: Daniel E Lee via Compfight cc 5. 6. 7. 8.
Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: How to Rise Above Your Negative Emotions How do you respond when negative emotions show up in your life? Do you wind up adding even more negativity to the already-not-so-great feelings? If this sounds familiar, then you may need to turn down the volume on your Self-Talk and learn how to listen instead to your Soul-Talk when negative feelings show up. Most of us simply let the negative emotions run their course until we "get over it." So, what's the alternative then when your negative emotions take center stage? Do you know anyone with whom you become angry from time to time? How to Find Value in Your Negative Emotions Using our GPS for the Soul metaphor, you can use the anger that you feel as an indicator that you are off course in some way. If you drive a car, or have been a passenger in one, then you may well have experienced the kind of bumpy disruption to an otherwise relatively smooth ride that takes place if the car starts to stray from its lane. What do you do when that noise or bumpy ride shows up?
“One Abuse Script with Many Faces” | Feministe We’ve been discussing gaslighting as an abuse tactic in two previous posts in response to this article by Yashar Ali who reassures us that we ladies are not crazy (thanks). In the first, Caperton dissects Ali’s message directly and the problems with male allies presenting problems analyzed by feminists as new and novel issues. In the second, I tried to clarify the definition of gaslighting and invited the readership to share their own personal experiences with this form of emotional abuse, for one because it’s a tool commonly used by abusers in abusive relationships, and two because it’s so often used against women. What bothered me was that Ali’s explanation of gaslighting chalked it up to what we commonly experience as everday sexism, when in reality gaslighting is a particularly insidious form of emotional abuse that primes abuse victims to accept increasing levels of abuse. Gaslighting can be physical or emotional. It’s not limited to interpersonal relationships either.
25 little things you can do to make your partner love you even more 1. Write a short letter to them listing the reasons you love them and post it to them at work. 2. Throw a towel in the dryer while they’re in the shower and give it to them just as they get out. 3. On cold nights, got to bed a few minutes earlier than them and lay on their side of the bed. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. Image via Julian Mason
This Startup Gives Couples Ingredients for the Perfect Date Night Name: Dejamor Quick Pitch: Delivers monthly packages to help couples keep the spark alive in their relationships. Genius Idea: Dejamor delivers discreet packages to couples with all the ingredients they need for romantic experiences, as curated by relationship coaches, psychologists and intimacy experts. Intimacy and spontaneity are key ingredients to a successful and happy partnership. That's where Dejamor comes into play. Each month, Dejamor delivers a package to subscribers with two boxes inside — one for "his eyes only" and another for "her eyes only." Dejamor CEO Rodrigo Fuentes created the subscription service after realizing he was working nearly 2,400 hours a year at a law firm — leaving little time to connect with his wife. With Dejamor, couples don't have to spend time planning out their date nights. "We thought instead of telling people what to do, it would be delivering a recipe of what to do, plus the ingredients for that recipe," Fuentes tells Mashable.