You Are A Short Story, He Was A Novel

Never show them your back This is the first installment in "Body Issues," a series of personal essays about obsessions with our own bodies. I used to flash my bra when I was good and drunk. I didn’t really care. It’s funny how this happens, how some part of your body considered “secret” and “scintillating” just feels like more skin. 40 Belief-Shaking Remarks From a Ruthless Nonconformist If there’s one thing Friedrich Nietzsche did well, it’s obliterate feel-good beliefs people have about themselves. He has been criticized for being a misanthrope, a subvert, a cynic and a pessimist, but I think these assessments are off the mark. I believe he only wanted human beings to be more honest with themselves. He did have a remarkable gift for aphorism — he once declared, “It is my ambition to say in ten sentences what others say in a whole book.” A hundred years after his death, Nietzsche retains his disturbing talent for turning a person’s worldview upside-down with one jarring remark.

I Want To Snuggle With You I want to snuggle with you. I’d like to lie on you and put my head on your shoulder and breathe in the same rhythm that you’re breathing. I want to use one of my hands to rub your head, down to your neck, then to your arm, and then hold your hand. I’d like to rest my other hand on your hipbone, which is my favorite part of your body because it’s a straight and bony hip, nothing like my curvy, soft one. letters to crushes: #405889 We met over Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I was in Starbucks with my nose buried in the book, and she came over my shoulder and whispered, "Don't Panic!" ...I did.

How I Know I Love You I know I love you because I want to get you soup when you’re sick. Not only do I want to get it for you, I want to make it for you so you can eat something made with love instead of with crushed insects and preservatives. I know I love you because I want to slap anyone who hurts you, even if it’s your boss. I want to hold you when you’re having a nightmare and kiss the spot that hurts when you bump into something. How To Tell If Somebody Loves You Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage! Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick.

Simon Rich: “Unprotected” I born in factory. They put me in wrapper. They seal me in box. Three of us in box. In early days, they move us around. Parenting Test This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Thank Your Ex Thank you for arguing with me. You taught me the correct way to disagree, as well as the incorrect way. You pushed me to my breaking point, so now I know to never go there again. Thank you for second-guessing every romantic gesture I made. Does She Love You? Have a question? Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else?