Hedvig and the Angry Itch - Pamela Essie's Blog So, last weekend, the hubby and I and a friend are hiking a mountain. We're about 2 miles high and I'm fighting a little bit of some altitude sickness; ya know a little tunnel vision, little dizziness, no big deal. Anyways, my cell phone rings, to which I answer, "Holy crap I get reception up here?" My reply is a moment of stunned silence (These always catch me off guard and I should so be used to this by now.) Of which, she responds, "Ya Know the one with the guy from Germany and he's singing and he's got the itch....." "Wait... "Yes! "No, it's inch, mom" "No, it's not, It's itch, cause you know he's got the itch." "What itch?" "You know like the itch?" "Where the hell did you get itch from? "no, its itch, I tell you, I swear to god its itch." "Because his penis is only an inch long" "His what?" "His Penis, Mom, his penis is only an inch long." Yep that's right, I was on a mountain trail with numerous people walking by as I'm screaming this into my phone.
Wild Polar Bear vs Dogs Norbert Rosing took these images of a wild polar bear coming upon his tethered sled dogs in the wilds of Canada's Hudson Bay. The Polar Bear returned every night that week to play with the dogs. The OSTRICH Story A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual asks the waitress?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62." Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?" found an old lamp. me two wishes. would always be there."
Robin Kaplan's Geek Art by Jamie Frevele | 1:14 pm, August 19th, 2011 Children’s book illustrator Robin Kaplan features her collection of geek art on her own site as well as Etsy, where you can buy prints. Kaplan, who also goes by the alias The Gorgonist (Gorgon + Artist), is also the self-published author of The Last Keyhole. Here is Lady Vader: Two girls in Doctor Who-themed dresses: Gundam Girls: Adorable take on Futurama: Transformer Girls: And Star Trek Bros: Kaplan also does a lot of monsters and steampunk-inspired drawings, so we highly recommend a visit to her various galleries. (The Gorgonist via So Geek Chic) 6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags. Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. Research has revealed that a lot of the quirky and even cute things your kitty does are actually signs that your cat is kind of a dick. Meowing to Imitate a Baby Human Cats have many different ways of communicating, but the meow is every cat's go-to vocalization when it wants to tell us something; be it, "I'm hungry," "pay attention to me" or "I just took a dump, go clean it up." A recent study has shown that people subconsciously can tell the difference between a pleading or soliciting meow and a run of the mill, casual one just by listening to sound clips taken from different felines in different situations. In fact, further studies have proven that a cat's cry for food or attention shares a remarkable similarity in frequency to a baby's cry. And guess what?
All Geared Up and Raring to Go! This comic was intended to be the way that developers dress their heroines in comparison to the heroes, but I guess it could also represent the way that a lot of male gamers dress up their female characters, as well. Your choice. See Torneko in the comic? He originally appeared in Dragon Quest IV, but he was also the main character from one of my favorite video games ever: Torneko: The Last Hope. Unfortunately, my copy of the game is now unplayable and I need to get another one.
Why Can't I Own a Canadian? October 2002 Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. Dear Dr. Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality.
Dwight Schrute Knows Best Oh Dwight, you are the best thing to happen to the US version of The Office. The wry second-in-command at the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin is famous for his obscure knowledge and comically literal interpretation of… well… everything. And so the Dwight Schrute Knows Best meme or simply, the Dwight Schrute meme was born: Enjoy the Dwight Schrute meme? Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics) | Things don’t always go as planned. Check out the pics below to see a few examples of what happens when our expectations get punched in the face by reality. via via Tickling Expectations: Reality: via via via via via You may also like:
Horrible Cards Horrible Cards are Copyright © 2012 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. The Oatmeal One Sentence - True stories, told in one sentence. Dear blank, please blank Wenn man nicht aufpasst, kann es passieren, dass man ohne es zu merken gleich mehrere Stunden auf der “Dear blank, please blank” Homepage verbringt. Wenn ich nicht so vorsichtig wär, würde ich wahrscheinlich jetzt noch dasitzen und eine lustige Kurznachricht nach der anderen lesen. Wer von euch ausreichend Zeit hat, sollte sich die Seite nicht entgehen lassen. Es ist jedoch besser die Finger davon zu lassen, wenn man noch bei der Arbeit ist. Für diejenigen habe ich hier eine kurze Light-Version zusammengestellt: Die Karten sind hier im Etsy Shop für jeweils 4,50 Dollar erhältlich. Spiral thingy lightning bolt! Spiral thingy lightning bolt! In the cartoon Get Fuzzy, the dog Satchel has taken to swearing by "saying the cartoon-style swear squiggles" (as the human character Rob puts it). While we've looked a lot at "taboo avoidance characters", used to mask individual letters in taboo words, we've touched much less often on "cursing characters" (as Ben Zimmer referred to them here; a bit later he referred to them as "obscenicons"), those "cartoon-style swear squiggles" used individually or in clusters -- What the #$*! Do We Know!? -- as visual substitutes for taboo words as wholes. Four strips so far, 3/17 through 3/20, beginning with Satchel stubbing his toe on a brick strategically placed in his way by the cat Bucky: We get characters available on (some) standard keyboards: asterisk *, ampersand &, plus sign +, percentage sign %, dollar sign $, British pound £, euro €. Spiral thingy lightning bolt!