A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child By Tina Fey

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age. Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

> 30 Animal Pictures That Will Put A Smile On Your Face March 28, 2011 | 8 Comments » | Topics: Pictures Please Don’t Promise Me Forever | Rotating Corpse Imagine this: It’s 1976 and you’re dating a man named Rick. He has a mustache and owns at least one reindeer sweater. High off of reading The Easter Parade and The Great Santini, he’s all pumped up to write the next great American novel but, to make ends meet, he’s currently working for Hallmark. The fact is, things could be better between the two of you; he forgot your birthday… then your anniversary. Now, imagine it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re not expecting much – but Rick surprises you. And this: “Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. And there’s even a photo depicting couples board game night paired with this text: “Please don’t… make me look foolish in front of other people.” I spotted this amazing treasure at Spoonbill and Sugartown and, of course, I had to buy it right away.

Diary of a Vintage Girl Crazy Illustrations By Chow Hon Lam | Pokkisam blog Chow Hon Lam is a t-shirt designer and a humorous illustrator from Malaysia. He has been completed this crazy project called Flying Mouse 365, which is create 1 design per day. I hope his illustrations can bring some smile and entertainment to the world. About the author How to Forecast Weather | Ever wondered how to forecast the weather without actually using instruments? Check the Clouds: Clouds can tell us a lot about the weather. For example, they can tell us if it’s going to be warmer on a particular night by simply being there. That’s because they prevent heat radiation from escaping. Check the Humidity: If you’re one of those people whose hair gets all curly when it gets really humid out, you know exactly what this is about. Check the Animals: Birds only fly in the sky when they expect fair weather ahead. Look at the Rainbow (but only in the west) and look for a Red Sky: If you see one in the west, it means a major storm front is coming. Check the Air: If it smells like a compost heap, expect some rain soon. Check the Moon: Seen any red moons lately? Check the Wind: If you can tell which way the wind is blowing, you can tell if there is a storm approaching. A Few More Ideas: Make a campfire – If the smoke goes straight up, clear skies ahead.

82 Clever and Creative Fred & Friends Products I'm sure you've come across Fred & Friend products before at your local indie store and might not have even known it. Last weekend I was cruising around town and stopped at an indie store only to find one whole corner of the place dedicated to Fred & Friend products. It was heavenly. A lot of creativity goes into the making of these products, and I think part of that cleverness is shown in the name of the product and the slogan. Which one's your favorite? Disclaimer: the images you're about to view may not be suitable for all audiences. the OH! conversational paperclips the hot buttered desk accessory! there’s no esc for flies! bigger, better, louder, cooler who says dusting can’t be fun? we ALL need a foot in the door rude, chewed refrigerator magnets street style for your home race you home they really make an entrance< another bright idea from Mr. matryoshkas made to measure keepin’ rythym in the kitchen a handy little spatula It’s the toast of Paris PEACE of CAKE™ make cake, not war let’er rip!

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