background preloader

A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child By Tina Fey

A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child By Tina Fey
“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches. May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty. When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer. Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age. Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

365 tomorrows » I Bet You Say That To All The Girls : A New Free Flash Fiction SciFi Story Every Day by submissionFebruary 17th, 2009 Author : Ian Rennie I give Annabeth one last lingering kiss at the door. “I’ll see you next week?” I say, a slight quaver in my voice. “Count on it.” she says grinning. I close the door as she turns, my heart fluttering. Annabeth is a client, and starting a relationship with a client is the big no-no. I always knew she was special. This is it, then. I just need to take my pill, get a shower, and get ready for her. I take the pill with a glass of water then step in the shower. The warm water is so soothing, like rain during monsoon season. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll be here much longer. There’s just something about her that makes my heart skip when I know she’s coming. I think she may be the one.

30 Animal Pictures That Will Put A Smile On Your Face March 28, 2011 | 8 Comments » | Topics: Pictures 'Gay Caveman' Found By Archaeologists Near Prague A team of Czech archaeologists claim to have unearthed the remains of an early gay man from around 2900-2500 B.C. outside Prague. According to the Telegraph, the "gay caveman" was found buried in a way normally reserved only for women during the Copper Age. The man had been interred on his left side with his head facing east, with no weapons and household jugs -- almost always reserved for women in the region during that time -- placed at his feet. Traditionally, men were buried with weapons, hammers and flint knives, and their bodies were positioned on their right side with their heads facing west. "From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake," lead researcher Kamila Remisova Vesinova said. "But this later discovery was neither of those, leading us to believe the man was probably homosexual or transsexual," Semeradova is also quoted by the Telegraph as saying.

Crazy Illustrations By Chow Hon Lam | Pokkisam blog Chow Hon Lam is a t-shirt designer and a humorous illustrator from Malaysia. He has been completed this crazy project called Flying Mouse 365, which is create 1 design per day. I hope his illustrations can bring some smile and entertainment to the world. About the author A Nation of Wimps Maybe it's the cyclist in the park, trim under his sleek metallic blue helmet, cruising along the dirt path... at three miles an hour. On his tricycle. Or perhaps it's today's playground, all-rubber-cushioned surface where kids used to skin their knees. And... wait a minute... those aren't little kids playing. Their mommies—and especially their daddies—are in there with them, coplaying or play-by-play coaching . Then there are the sanitizing gels, with which over a third of parents now send their kids to school, according to a recent survey. Consider the teacher new to an upscale suburban town. Behold the wholly sanitized childhood , without skinned knees or the occasional C in history. Messing up, however, even in the playground, is wildly out of style. "Life is planned out for us," says Elise Kramer, a Cornell University junior. No one doubts that there are significant economic forces pushing parents to invest so heavily in their children's outcome from an early age.

Questionnaires for Writing Character Profiles - Creative Writing Help Enter your e-mail to get the e-book for FREE. We'll also keep you informed about interesting website news. "I have searched the web and used different worksheets, but none have come close to your worksheets and descriptions of (what to do and what not to do). Both courses I have taken have with Creative Writing Now have been amazing. Each time I have learned something new. "As usual - I already love the course on Irresistible Fiction, rewriting a lot and improving greatly even after the first lesson. “Essentials of Fiction proved that I could indeed write and I wrote every day, much to my boyfriend's dismay (waa sniff).” - Jill Gardner "I am loving the course and the peer interaction on the blog is fantastic!!!" "I'm enjoying the weekly email course, Essentials of Poetry Writing. "Thank you for all the material in this course. "I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the lessons and feel they were very helpful in introducing new ideas and perspectives to my writing.

Best Buy Firing Employee Because He Makes A Funny Video // Current To Our Faithful Current.com Users: Current's run has ended after eight exciting years on air and online. The Current TV staff has appreciated your interest, support, participation and unflagging loyalty over the years. Your contributions helped make Current.com a vibrant place for discussing thousands of interesting stories, and your continued viewership motivated us to keep innovating and find new ways to reflect the voice of the people. We now welcome the on-air and digital presence of Al Jazeera America, a new news network committed to reporting on and investigating real stories affecting the lives of everyday Americans in every corner of the country. Thank you for inspiring and challenging us. – The Current TV Staff

22 Incredible Photos of Faraway Places Thailand Chances are you already know Steve McCurry as the man who took one of the most iconic photos of our time. It was of a 12-year-old Afghan refugee girl who's piercing green eyes told us her harrowing story. Beyond just that one photo, McCurry has shot over a million images spanning 35 years. Looking through his large body of work, we get to experience fantastic faraway places we can only dream about visiting. Afghanistan Sri Lanka Yemen Tibet Cambodia India Burma Eastman Kodak let McCurry shoot the last ever produced roll of Kodachrome transparency film. Steve McCurry More Incredible Photos:Capturing a Country's CultureBreathtaking Visions of EarthTragic Portraits of America's Endangered SpeciesIncredible Wildlife Shots by Rob Kroenert

Related: