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The Fear of Hurting the Other and the Inhibition of Self

The Fear of Hurting the Other and the Inhibition of Self
Click here to contact Beverly and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love. To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression. Marlene, a 27 year old married woman, came into my therapy office feeling anxious and depressed. What Marlene described to me suggested that she had issues she needed to work on as an individual and that as we did this she would be more able to address the difficulties in her relationship with Ben. While Ben might be particularly subject to feeling hurt or slighted, Marlene’s inability to tolerate hurting Ben and talk with him about these issues, made the relationship difficult. Find the Right Therapist

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