How To Fix The Economy Dear Mr. President: Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. Loaf of Brad To find the answer, we must first quantify the value of Brad. So how much is a human life worth? According to research by Stanford economists, a year of human life is worth about $129,000. Wolfram Alpha tells us that the average age of a person named Brad is 35 years, and that the average life expectancy for a human male (worldwide) is about 69 years. Assuming that procuring a loaf of Brad involves cutting down a Brad in his prime, we would be depriving him of 34 years of life - a value of $4,386,000. Next we must decide if a "loaf" is a unit of volume, or a unit of weight.
9 Ways That Guys Pee Black Eyed Peas Halftime Show...LOL There was one empty seat at the Super Bowl! Demetri Martin creates a 224-word palindrome poem Some of the important things Martin discusses in his new stand-up show: honey bears, the differences between guts and balls and religious-strife among rats. Rodents, religion and genital activity are also showcased in Martin's poem, below, for your viewing pleasure: "Dammit I'm Mad" Dammit I’m mad. Evil is a deed as I live. Dwight Schrute Knows Best Oh Dwight, you are the best thing to happen to the US version of The Office. The wry second-in-command at the Scranton office of Dunder Mifflin is famous for his obscure knowledge and comically literal interpretation of… well… everything. And so the Dwight Schrute Knows Best meme or simply, the Dwight Schrute meme was born: Enjoy the Dwight Schrute meme?
Color Psychology by David Johnson Like death and taxes, there is no escaping color. It is ubiquitous. Can TA Seduction by Email Change Your Grade? It can be hard to communicate emotions through email. That's why we litter them with "lol," emoticons and nude pictures — to get that much closer to real conversation. Well, that's just the opening (above) of this juicy ten-message email thread between a TA and a student. The rest is jam-packed with innuendo and outuendo. Expectations vs. Reality (16 Pics) Things don’t always go as planned. Check out the pics below to see a few examples of what happens when our expectations get punched in the face by reality. via via Tickling Expectations:
The 10 Most Puzzling Ancient Artifacts The Bible tells us that God created Adam and Eve just a few thousand years ago, by some fundamentalist interpretations. Science informs us that this is mere fiction and that man is a few million years old, and that civilization just tens of thousands of years old. Could it be, however, that conventional science is just as mistaken as the Bible stories?
Lots of Puns ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. Natalie Dee: "America's Favorite Cracker" Random Comic Older Comics Search ND: Text Titles Share this comic:
The 55 Funniest Signs From the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear from FOD Team We know that we're a little late to the game and that plenty of other websites have already posted best signs of the rally. But this is the internet, and since we are a website on that internet, we are required to post this. So without further ado… Here are the 55 funniest signs from the Stewart/Colbert rally. (via)
Andy Borowitz: 5 Approved Obama Jokes - Humor 5 Approved Obama Jokes Posted on Jul 20, 2008 By Andy Borowitz Saying he is “sympathetic to late night comedians’ struggle to find jokes to make about me,” Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes. this is my disease - michael reid rubenstein this is my disease here i am age 6 stealing candy from a shop on Broadway here i am age 7 pulling a girl’s panties down around her knees while she’s swinging upside down from jungle gym bars here i am age 8 Jackie K shows me how to masturbate to this day i’ve never looked back that’s me age 9 creeping into my sister’s bedroom into her sleeping girlfriend’s adjoining bed concerning my sister she’s a great gal but i’ve never been physically attracted to her here i am age 10 with 4 grammar school buddies shoplifting at Marshal Fields department store we got caught marshaled home severely punished