The Secret To Dealing With Passive-Aggressive People Ah, passive aggression. The best way to handle conflict. Not. There’s a reason why passive-aggressive behavior gets such a bad rap. Not only is it supremely frustrating for both parties involved, but it’s also incredibly unproductive to the passive-aggressive person — because his or her needs aren’t actually ever acknowledged or addressed. And for the target of the passive aggression, experiencing this kind of behavior can “make you feel like a crazy person,” explains Scott Wetzler, Ph.D., vice chairman of the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Montefiore Medical Center and author of Living With the Passive-Aggressive Man. At its heart, the behavior “really is a sugar-coated hostility,” Wetzler tells HuffPost. Passive-aggressive behavior, while expressed in many different ways, has the same roots: There is an underlying fear and avoidance of direct conflict, yet a feeling of powerlessness and helplessness. So how can you best deal with a passive-aggressive person? 1. 2.
Our addiction to criminalising human behaviour makes a mockery of private responsibility | Simon Jenkins If poisoning your foetus with alcohol is a crime, why is it not a crime to abort it? If alcoholism in pregnancy is “attempted manslaughter”, as a QC told the court of appeal this week, surely abortion is murder. Indeed if alcoholism before birth criminally harms a baby’s life, what about alcoholism and a dozen other cruelties after birth? How many are the misdeeds we inflict on our children to which Britain’s “cult of criminality” should now turn its attention? We need a philosopher – as Raymond Chandler would say – and we need one fast. All we get are bloody lawyers. In America hundreds of (mostly black) mothers are now jailed for this offence, to whose benefit it is unclear. The advance of criminal law into these recesses of private morality is ominous. When serving on one such committee I learned that two inputs were of little help: those of religion and the law. I still cannot see how we can call something a crime without a criminal agent.
Pavlov’s Dogs by Saul McLeod published 2007, updated 2013 Like many great scientific advances, Pavlovian conditioning (aka classical conditioning) was discovered accidentally. During the 1890s Russian physiologist Ivan Pavlov was looking at salivation in dogs in response to being fed, when he noticed that his dogs would begin to salivate whenever he entered the room, even when he was not bringing them food. At first this was something of a nuisance (not to mention messy!). Pavlovian Conditioning Pavlov (1902) started from the idea that there are some things that a dog does not need to learn. Unconditioned Stimulus (Food) > Unconditioned Response (Salivate) Pavlov showed the existence of the unconditioned response by presenting a dog with a bowl of food and the measuring its salivary secretions (see image below). Pavlov knew that somehow, the dogs in his lab had learned to associate food with his lab assistant. In behaviorist terms, the lab assistant was originally a neutral stimulus. Summary References
The fall of the Berlin Wall: what it meant to be there | Timothy Garton Ash | World news We throw chocolates up to the putty-faced East German frontier troops, as they stand guard – against whom? defending what? – atop a Wall that since yesterday has become useless. Lines scribbled in my notebook. There are things in my notebook which I later published and therefore always remember: the breathless, denim-jacketed couple from the provinces asking: “Excuse me, is this the way out?” But there are other passages that I had quite forgotten, and some of them don’t fit so comfortably into hindsight’s fairytale of liberation. “Most of Stasi not torturers, beasts,” recorded my indignant pencil, but “decent, clean people – anständige, saubere Menschen”. Some of those who applauded loudly then, in the Deutsches Theater, will have re-remembered their own reaction by now. My father landed with the first wave of allied forces on D-day, 6 June 1944. On a plane back from Warsaw last week, I finished a new book by the American historian Mary Elise Sarotte. All this the historian can tell.
10 Ways Introverts Interact Differently With The World Introverts and extraverts may seem the same on the surface, but if you look at the way they respond to life’s everyday occurrences, differences begin to emerge. Last month, for example, Science of Us writer Melissa Dahl reported on findings from psychologist Brian Little’s latest book on personality science, Me, Myself, and Us: The Science of Personality and the Art of Well-Being, which showed that introverts are better off avoiding caffeine before a big meeting or important event. Little cites the theory of extraversion by Hans Eysenck and research by William Revelle of Northwestern University, explaining that introverts and extraverts naturally differ when it comes to their alertness and responsiveness to a given environment. A substance or scene that overstimulates the central nervous system of an introvert (which doesn’t take much) might cause him or her to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, rather than excited and engaged. “Shyness is about fear of social judgment,” Cain said.
Why Do the Japanese Draw Themselves as White? by Guest Blogger Julian Abagond, Aug 30, 2010, at 10:01 am Why do the Japanese draw themselves as white? You see that especially in manga and anime. As it turns out, that is an American opinion, not a Japanese one. The Japanese see anime characters as being Japanese. It is Americans who think they are white. If I draw a stick figure, most Americans will assume that it is a white man. The Other has to be marked. Americans apply this thinking to Japanese drawings. You see the same thing in America: After all, why do people think Marge Simpson is white? When you think about it there is nothing particularly white about how anime characters look: huge round eyes – no one looks like that, not even white people (even though that style of drawing eyes does go back to Betty Boop).yellow hair – but they also have blue hair and green hair and all the rest. Besides, that is not how the Japanese draw white or even Chinese people. Gone are the big round eyes and the strange hair colours.
Gardner's Multiple Intelligences Howard Gardner of Harvard has identified seven distinct intelligences. This theory has emerged from recent cognitive research and "documents the extent to which students possess different kinds of minds and therefore learn, remember, perform, and understand in different ways," according to Gardner (1991). According to this theory, "we are all able to know the world through language, logical-mathematical analysis, spatial representation, musical thinking, the use of the body to solve problems or to make things, an understanding of other individuals, and an understanding of ourselves. Where individuals differ is in the strength of these intelligences - the so-called profile of intelligences -and in the ways in which such intelligences are invoked and combined to carry out different tasks, solve diverse problems, and progress in various domains."
The Lost Art of Eye Contact We’ve stopped seeing each other. You and me. All of us. Our eyes may indeed be windows to our soul, but with our necks craned downward and our eyes focused on tiny handheld screens, who can tell? We hardly make an effort to look at the person we’re talking to anymore. Younger people, in general, find it challenging to maintain eye contact with adults. When nearly every personal and business interaction uses a screen as an intermediary, it’s difficult to develop and maintain meaningful relationships with employees, customers and partners. Speak with Your Eyes We communicate so much with a simple look. Listen to Their Eyes Without looking directly into someone’s eyes, you’ll miss millions of visual clues as to what’s going on inside their head. Look for the “Tell” In poker, it’s called the “tell”: the habitual signal your opponent makes that betrays whether he or she is holding a full house or a hand full of nothing. Be Shifty-Eyed But Don’t Be Creepy
How I Learned to Single Task I love running, but probably not for the reasons you might think. Yes, I love feeling strong and healthy and I believe it’s important to show self-care to my children. Yes, a good run sets the stage for a good day. But the biggest draw for me is that when I’m running, it’s only thing I’m doing. I’m alone with my thoughts and I can’t do anything other than that one thing. Multitasking is not my thing. I try hard to avoid the stress of multitasking. While I am a firm believer in teaching kids to slow down and avoid the stress of rushing, I don’t always heed my own warnings. What could I have done differently? People love to boast about multitasking, but the truth is that multitasking isn’t actually a thing. Recent research shows that multitasking (or rapid fire task switching) is both damaging to the brain and leads to poor performance. My daughter is a slow and methodical worker in the classroom. I’ve always given my kids extra time. Lately I’ve been following my daughter’s lead. Author
Leading Edge and Learning Lessons As a Leading Edge school KEGS is a partner in a national network of high performing schools dedicated to improving understanding and implementation of outstanding learning and progress in schools through the concept of “teacher-learner”. Ten years ago KEGS was one of only 104 schools nationally to be awarded this accolade from the SSAT and in 2013 works as a collaborative partner sharing expertise with a national group exceeding 1600 schools. At the heart of a Leading Edge school are teachers who are passionate about teaching, and leadership committed to research evidenced innovation to raise achievement and improve learning outcomes. Passion reflects the thrill, as well as the frustrations, of learning; it can be infectious, it can taught, it can be modelled, and it can be learnt. [John Hattie (2012), Visible Learning for Teachers: maximising impact on learning.] Learning Lessons Volume 3 Volume 2 Volume 1
Why do people cry tears of joy and pinch babies’ cheeks? According to science, it may help you calm down. Ever see a puppy so cute that you have no idea what to do with yourself? Like, what sort of response am I supposed to have when seeing something like this? As a test, take a look at this baby: (iStock) Do you want to pinch its cheeks? That's kind of a curious reaction, if you really stop to think about it. Same with tears of joy (which many musicians have documented in song), or whatever it is that happens while watching videos of soldiers reuniting with their families: It's a happy, ecstatic moment, and yet we (specifically, me) are reduced to a puddle of tears. Negative and aggressive responses to positive emotions is something Yale psychologist Oriana Aragon realized that science hadn't really taken the time to explain. So Aragon and other researchers studied these emotions and responses, the results of which are to be published in a forthcoming issue of Psychological Science. Then, nearly 300 participants were shown pictures of babies, which altered to make them look more or less cute.
Skills4Study.com: Study Skills Home > Study skills > Writing > Essay writing: research Research is the foundation of any essay – if you have nothing to say, how can you write an essay?! Research is a process though, with many components. Brainstorming is a great way to kick off this process. Brainstorming This is time very well spent as part of your research strategy. 1. If you begin your research without doing this, certain things are likely to happen: The authors you read will dictate to you: without your own ideas to protect you, it will be difficult, at times impossible, for you to resist the pull of their ideas and the persuasiveness of their arguments. Reading skills Most of us spend hours reading texts that we need not have read. Many of us get into the habit of reading every passage word-for-word, regardless of our purpose in reading it, when in fact it might be more efficient to skim or scan it. For more advice, see reading strategies. Making notes The key to good note-taking is to make the structure clear.
6 Ways to Head Off Holiday Angst Alliance/Shutterstock Despite the enforced cheer of the season and canned music full of joy, the holidays loom for many like a dark cloud on the horizon. It’s a stretch that starts with Thanksgiving, disappears after New Year’s Day, and needs to be navigated with all the delicacy and finesse of a stroll through a minefield. This sense of dread can be sparked by various scenarios—an impossible relationship with a hypercritical parent, an unresolved crisis with a sibling or other relative, the aftermath of a fractious divorce, or any other significant emotional fractures. I offer up these strategies, some born out of personal experience, and others drawn from research: 1. Differentiating what you’re feeling will permit you to manage your emotions more effectively. One woman I asked about her holiday dread told me, “The season used to make me sad because I felt as though all the relationship problems were somehow my responsibility—that either I caused them or, worse, needed to fix them. 2.