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The 14 Habits of Highly Miserable People

The 14 Habits of Highly Miserable People
Photo Credit: Shutterstock.com/aastock Most of us claim we want to be happy—to have meaningful lives, enjoy ourselves, experience fulfillment, and share love and friendship with other people and maybe other species, like dogs, cats, birds, and whatnot. Strangely enough, however, some people act as if they just want to be miserable, and they succeed remarkably at inviting misery into their lives, even though they get little apparent benefit from it, since being miserable doesn’t help them find lovers and friends, get better jobs, make more money, or go on more interesting vacations. Why do they do this? After perusing the output of some of the finest brains in the therapy profession, I’ve come to the conclusion that misery is an art form, and the satisfaction people seem to find in it reflects the creative effort required to cultivate it. So if you aspire to make yourself miserable, what are the best, most proven techniques for doing it? Honing Your Misery Skills 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Related:  To REad

Proper Russian: Why Russians Are Not Smiling A German friend once asked me,"Why are Russian people so gloomy? Nobody smiles here”. I looked around and noticed that indeed, almost nobody in the Moscow subway was smiling. I said, "Why should they?” My friend raised his eyebrow in astonishment and changed the subject. I remembered our conversation and started searching for the answer to why Russians are seldom found smiling. In Russia, it is not common to smile at strangers. Russians don't use a smile to cheer up anybody. Quite often, Russians smile not “at”, but "about" something. Russians need a particular reason to smile. Photo by benjaminasmith

A Big Butt Is A Healthy Butt: Women With Big Butts Are Smarter And Healthier Scientists from the University of Oxford have discovered that women with larger than average butts are not only increasingly intelligent but also very resistant to chronic illnesses. According to ABC News, the results found that women with bigger backsides tend to have lower levels of cholesterol and are more likely to produce hormones to metabolize sugar. Therefore, women with big butts are less likely to have diabetes or heart problems. And having a big butt requires an excess of Omega 3 fats, which have been proven to catalyze brain development. The researchers also found that the children born to women with wider hips are intellectually superior to the children of slimmer, less curvy mothers. Eyeonthenut reports that the team analyzed data from 16,000 women. From ABC News: “Professor Konstantinos Manolopoulos, who leads the team at the University of Oxford, says that women with more fat on the buttocks have lower levels of cholesterol and glucose.” *This study did not include fake butts.

How to Build a Happier Brain - Julie Beck There is a motif, in fiction and in life, of people having wonderful things happen to them, but still ending up unhappy. We can adapt to anything, it seems—you can get your dream job, marry a wonderful human, finally get 1 million dollars or Twitter followers—eventually we acclimate and find new things to complain about. If you want to look at it on a micro level, take an average day. You go to work; make some money; eat some food; interact with friends, family or co-workers; go home; and watch some TV. Nothing particularly bad happens, but you still can’t shake a feeling of stress, or worry, or inadequacy, or loneliness. According to Dr. I spoke with Hanson about this practice, which he calls “taking in the good,” and how evolution optimized our brains for survival, but not necessarily happiness. “Taking in the good” is the central idea of your book. The simple idea is that we we all want to have good things inside ourselves: happiness, resilience, love, confidence, and so forth.

TSA Agent Confession - POLITICO Magazine On Jan. 4, 2010, when my boss saw my letter to the editor in the New York Times, we had a little chat. It was rare for the federal security director at Chicago O’Hare to sit down with her floor-level Transportation Security Administration officers—it usually presaged a termination—and so I was nervous as I settled in across the desk from her. She was a woman in her forties with sharp blue eyes that seemed to size you up for placement in a spreadsheet. She held up a copy of the newspaper, open to the letters page. One week earlier, on Christmas Day 2009, a man named Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab had tried to detonate 80 grams of a highly explosive powder while on Northwest Airlines Flight 253. The TSA saw the near-miss as proof that aviation security could not be ensured without the installation of full-body scanners in every U.S. airport. “The problem we have here is that you identified yourself as a TSA employee,” she said. They were words I had heard somewhere before. I was shocked.

/var/null A couple of weeks ago, I was scheduled to take a trip from New York (JFK) to Los Angeles on JetBlue. Every year, my family goes on a one-week pilgrimage, where we put our work on hold and spend time visiting temples, praying, and spending time with family and friends. To my Jewish friends, I often explain this trip as vaguely similar to the Sabbath, except we take one week of rest per year, rather than one day per week. Our family is not Muslim, but by coincidence, this year, our trip happened to be during the last week of Ramadan. By further coincidence, this was also the same week that I was moving out of my employer-provided temporary housing (at NYU) and moving into my new apartment. The next morning, I packed the rest of my clothes into a suitcase and took a cab to the airport. I got in line for security at the airport and handed the agent my ID. When going through the security line, I opted out (as I always used to) of the millimeter wave detectors. “You can’t leave here.” “Yes”

The Complete Guide to Not Giving a Fuck — Best thing I found online today Ok, I have a confession to make. I have spent almost my whole life– 31 years– caring far too much about offending people, worrying if I’m cool enough for them, or asking myself if they are judging me. I can’t take it anymore. It’s stupid, and it’s not good for my well being. Today, ladies and gentlemen, is different. We’re going to talk about the cure. Do you wonder if someone is talking shit about you? Well, it’s time you started not giving a fuck. FACT NUMBER 1. Yes, it’s really happening right at this moment. What people truly respect is when you draw the line and say “you will go no further.” Right. Regular people are fine– you don’t actually hear it when they’re talking behind your back. Thankfully, that’s not actually true. FACT NUMBER 2. This stuff is crazy, I know, but it’s cool, you’ll get used to it. How liberating this is may not even hit you yet, but it will. You know when they say “the best revenge is a life well lived”? FACT NUMBER 3. Relationships are weird. FACT NUMBER 4.

Roger Angell: Life in the Nineties Check me out. The top two knuckles of my left hand look as if I’d been worked over by the K.G.B. No, it’s more as if I’d been a catcher for the Hall of Fame pitcher Candy Cummings, the inventor of the curveball, who retired from the game in 1877. To put this another way, if I pointed that hand at you like a pistol and fired at your nose, the bullet would nail you in the left knee. Arthritis. Now, still facing you, if I cover my left, or better, eye with one hand, what I see is a blurry encircling version of the ceiling and floor and walls or windows to our right and left but no sign of your face or head: nothing in the middle. I’m ninety-three, and I’m feeling great. Like many men and women my age, I get around with a couple of arterial stents that keep my heart chunking. My left knee is thicker but shakier than my right. The lower-middle sector of my spine twists and jogs like a Connecticut county road, thanks to a herniated disk seven or eight years ago. “Isn’t that Uncle Junior?”

Why We Lost the War on Poverty Why We Lost the War on PovertyBy John C. Goodman | Posted: Tue. February 18, 2014, 11:12am PTAlso published in Townhall on Sat. Take a look at the graph below. The dotted line shows what would have happened had this trend continued. But we didn’t continue the trend. Now here is something you may not know. We now know a lot about how behavior affects poverty. Finish high school, Get a job, Get married, and Don’t have children until you get married. So how does welfare affect behavior? The experiments were all conducted by social scientists who believed in the welfare state and had no doubt about its capacity to be successful. The experiments were all controlled. The number of hours worked dropped 9% for husbands and 20% for wives, relative to the control group. BTW, these results have been studied and studied over and over again and there is a large literature on them—almost all of it written by researchers who detested the outcomes.

How Burrowing Owls Lead To Vomiting Anarchists (Or SF’s Housing Crisis Explained) The Santa Clara Valley was some of the most valuable agricultural land in the entire world, but it was paved over to create today’s Silicon Valley. This was simply the result of bad planning and layers of leadership failure — nobody thinks farms literally needed to be destroyed to create the technology industry’s success. Today, the tech industry is apparently on track to destroy one of the world’s most valuable cultural treasures, San Francisco, by pushing out the diverse people who have helped create it. At least that’s the story you’ve read in hundreds of articles lately. It doesn’t have to be this way. The alternative — inaction and self-absorption — very well could create the cynical elite paradise and middle-class dystopia that many fear. Here is a very long explainer. This is a complex problem, and I’m not going to distill it into young, rich tech douchebags-versus-helpless old ladies facing eviction. It does us all no justice. 1) First off, understand the math of the region. Why?

Health Check: five supplements that may help with depression Over two-thirds of Australians are thought to use complementary medicines ranging from vitamin and mineral supplements to herbal to aromatherapy and homeopathic products. Mental health concerns are one of the reasons why people use supplements, but are they really useful? While there’s evidence for the efficacy of some supplements as potential treatments for depression, there’s none for others, and some have been found to be ineffective. But effectiveness is not the only concern – the quality and cost of unregulated products can also be problematic. And then there’s the issue of discerning between bone fide evidence from double-blind randomised controlled trials and slick company marketing campaigns. Of the supplements that have been studied for improving general mood or treating clinical depression, omega-3 fatty acids, St John’s wort, S-adenosyl-methionine (SAMe), N-acetyl cysteine (NAC) and zinc are the most researched and commonly used. Omega-3 fatty acids SAMe St John’s wort Zinc

Ratking: 'We're a rap group but we want to be part of the culture of punk' "Dude, what's that smell?" says frizzy-haired rapper Wiki as we cross the threshold of a London pub. It could be the unwashed floors, still sticky with last night's spilt drinks, the hoppy stench of leaking ale barrels, or the excessive perspiration of salarymen after a tough day in the nearby office complex. Ratking, still underage in the US, don't spend that much time in bars, so these odours are all new to them. We muddle through the stench and take a seat. The band all keep their coats on, the way teenagers do, as though they're never quite settled. But then Ratking, you sense, never are. Wiki explains it like this: "Punk sounds great live but it can often come up short on record. If you only met Wiki, you might think that Ratking were a bunch of stoner skater types to whom everything just happens spontaneously. Then there's Hak. But that wasn't good enough for Wiki. Ratking's debut record, So It Goes, also feels a bit like learning to hear. "Yeah," says Wiki.

Doing Business In Japan (本投稿を日本語にしようと思っていますが、より早くできる方がいましたら、ご自由にどうぞ。翻訳を含めて二次的著作物を許可します。) I’ve been in Japan for ten years now and often get asked about how business works here, sometimes by folks in the industry wondering about the Japanese startup culture, sometimes by folks wishing to sell their software in Japan, and sometimes by folks who are just curious. Disclaimer: Some of this is going to be colored by my own experiences. The brief version: white male American (which occasionally matters — see below), came to Japan right out of college in 2004. I’m fluent in Japanese to all practical purposes. Disclaimer the second: I’m going to attempt to avoid essentializing Japan too much, as (like the US) it is a big country with a broad range of human experience in it. That said, there may be some generalization and/or exaggeration for dramatic effect. The Company Is Father. The employee hereby promises the company: Your first obligation, in all things, will be to your company. Don’t have a wife? Example: Housing.

Lasting Relationships Rely On 2 Traits Every day in June, the most popular wedding month of the year, about 13,000 American couples will say “I do,” committing to a lifelong relationship that will be full of friendship, joy, and love that will carry them forward to their final days on this earth. Except, of course, it doesn’t work out that way for most people. The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction. Of all the people who get married, only three in ten remain in healthy, happy marriages, as psychologist Ty Tashiro points out in his book The Science of Happily Ever After, which was published earlier this year. Social scientists first started studying marriages by observing them in action in the 1970s in response to a crisis: Married couples were divorcing at unprecedented rates. Psychologist John Gottman was one of those researchers. From the data they gathered, Gottman separated the couples into two major groups: the masters and the disasters.

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