The Thick Skinned Here's an important rule for life: It's not all about you. To develop a thick skin you must first remember that you are not the center of the universe. Yes, sorry to say, you are not the fixed point around which the universe turns. Say someone isn't paying you enough attention. Yet there may be a good reason for her inattention. If this is how your mind works, you may indeed be overly thin skinned. Here are a few tips to developing a thick skin: Don't take things personally. Tags: bad behavior , brood , center of the universe , deep breathing , foul mood , frustrated , good reason , inattention , jerk , new solution , proposals , provocations , self-confidence , success , thick skin , time out , upset
Joel on Software - Fire And Motion by Joel Spolsky Sunday, January 06, 2002 Sometimes I just can't get anything done. Sure, I come into the office, putter around, check my email every ten seconds, read the web, even do a few brainless tasks like paying the American Express bill. These bouts of unproductiveness usually last for a day or two. Everybody has mood swings; for some people they are mild, for others, they can be more pronounced or even dysfunctional. It makes me think of those researchers who say that basically people can't control what they eat, so any attempt to diet is bound to be short term and they will always yoyo back to their natural weight. What drives me crazy is that ever since my first job I've realized that as a developer, I usually average about two or three hours a day of productive coding. But it's not the days when I "only" get two hours of work done that worry me. I've thought about this a lot. Once you get into flow it's not too hard to keep going. I remembered this for a long time. Discuss Next:
AWKV Hessen Aus- und Weiterbildungseinrichtung für klinische Verhaltenstherapie 60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days Contrary to popular belief, you don’t have to make drastic changes in order to notice an improvement in the quality of your life. At the same time, you don’t need to wait a long time in order to see the measurable results that come from taking positive action. All you have to do is take small steps, and take them consistently, for a period of 100 days. Below you’ll find 60 small ways to improve all areas of your life in the next 100 days. Home 1. Day 1: Declutter MagazinesDay 2: Declutter DVD’sDay 3: Declutter booksDay 4: Declutter kitchen appliances 2. If you take it out, put it back.If you open it, close it.If you throw it down, pick it up.If you take it off, hang it up. 3. A burnt light bulb that needs to be changed.A button that’s missing on your favorite shirt.The fact that every time you open your top kitchen cabinet all of the plastic food containers fall out. Happiness 4. 5. 6. How many times do you beat yourself up during the day? 7. Learning/Personal Development 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.
The Key to Understanding Body Language Since writing “ What Every Body is Saying ,” the question I am most often asked is, “What nonverbal behaviors should I be looking for and are they different at home, at work, or in relationships?” Perhaps this will help to clarify the matter. Somewhere in our hominid past, as with most animals, we developed the ability to communicate nonverbally and that still remains our primary method of communication, especially when it comes to emotions. Charles Darwin first and Paul Ekman much later, have written about the universality of emotions in part because, as Joseph Ledoux has pointed out, these and other survival behaviors are governed by our very elegant limbic brain. The governance of homeostasis, procreation, emotion, spotting and reacting to threats, as well as assuring our survival, are all heavy responsibilities of the limbic system. Our needs, feelings, thoughts, and intentions are processed by the limbic brain and expressed in our body language. Darwin, C. (1872). Ekman, P. (2003).
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16 Things I Wish They Had Taught Me in School I am 28 now. I don’t think about the past or regret things much these days. But sometimes I wish that I had known some of things I have learned over the last few years a bit earlier. That perhaps there had been a self-improvement class in school. Because some of these 16 things in this article a teacher probably spoke about in class. Some of it would probably not have stuck in my mind anyway. But I still think that taking a few hours from all those German language classes and use them for some personal development classes would have been a good idea. So here are 16 things I wish they had taught me in school (or I just would like to have known about earlier). 1. This is one of the best ways to make better use of your time. So a lot of what you do is probably not as useful or even necessary to do as you may think. You can just drop – or vastly decrease the time you spend on – a whole bunch of things. 2. You can do things quicker than you think. So focus your time on finding solutions. 3. 4.
Why Apologies Are Important Once I requested a sixteen year old to apologize for hurtful remarks he made towards his math teacher. He looked me square in the eyes and said "no." When I asked why, given that we had both agreed his words were inappropriate and hurtful, his response was that he really didn't feel sorry for his actions, and so therefore his apology would be (in his words,) "fake". His mother quickly interjected, agreeing with him. In a 2006 research study conducted on the human brain with a focus on congruency between language and actions, Aziz-Zadeh and her fellow researchers, discovered through the use of functional magnetic resonance imaging, that there was a clear congruence in the premotor cortex of the left hemisphere between visually presented actions and actions described by language. So what does this mean? While a public apology may seem trivial, it has a powerful effect on the person making the apology, as it internally puts the apologizer at odds with his or her beliefs.
Eat and Code (Aaron Swartz: The Weblog) Dear Diary: Sorry I haven’t written so long. Running a startup is hard! That and finally having people to talk to sort of takes some of the time and desire out of writing. I’m thinking maybe instead of a full blow-by-blow account of what happened, I’ll write posts about different topics, that will recap the story so far. My first attempt follows. -ASw Life seems so incredibly overworked and overcomplicated that you pare it down to the bare essentials: eat and code. Let’s take eating. To be honest, I’ve always had a problematic relationship with food. Finally, one day at an oriental restaurant by Stanford (years before I went to school there), we had the typical discussion except this time Cory Doctorow spoke up: ‘are you sure you’re not a supertaster?’ In any event, I’m not one for the fine arts of cooking. There were some problems, though. At the same time, I was suffering from bouts of acid reflux which continued to grow in frequency and severity. And then what do I eat instead? Aaron,