Selfishness: The Cure to Your Philosophical Hangover Editor’s Note: This article is written by the brilliant, amazing, and selfless Marina Tsipenyuk. Those who have ever valued liberty for its own sake believed that to be free to choose, and not to be chosen for, is an unalienable ingredient in what makes human beings human. ~Isaiah Berlin Though I generally procrastinate when it comes to reading long fictions, last summer, and due to a twentieth century Russian literature class that I have taken this Fall, I have been inundated with countless philosophies. I was astounded by so many of the recent novels that I have read, ranging from Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead and Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita, to pieces in the style of Socialist Realism and those opposing it. The problem is not vested in finding the ultimate philosophical answer to how everything works. This is something we may wonder from time to time along with the notions of love, interconnection, and social responsibility. Selfishness vs Selflessness Where do we fit in?
Beyond Betrayal: Life After Infidelity Day after day in my office I see men and women who have been messing around. They lead secret lives, as they hide themselves from their marriages. They go through wrenching divorces, inflicting pain on their children and their children's children. Accidental Infidelity All affairs are not alike. Many times a young man has started his career as a philanderer quite accidentally when he is traveling out of town on a new job with a philandering boss who chooses one of a pair of women and expects the young fellow to entertain the other. Both men and women can slip up and have accidental affairs, though the most accident-prone are those who drink, those who travel, those who don't get asked much, those who don't feel very tightly married, those whose running buddies screw around, and those who are afraid to run from a challenge. After an accidental infidelity, there is clearly the sense that one's life and marriage have changed. Romantic Infidelity
Mastering Your Own Mind Back when my son was 8 years old, he called 911 after I took away his Game Boy. I wish I'd been studying Buddhism back then, because I probably could have handled it a lot better. I suspect I wouldn't have yelled at him while the dispatcher was still listening. And I bet I wouldn't have been quite so wracked by dread when the police were questioning us in separate rooms of the house—at least until I overheard the other officer ask, "She took away your " Most importantly, I know I would have forgiven my son much more quickly, and the whole thing wouldn't have felt so traumatic . Looking back, I realize I was completely underutilizing my own brain . In contrast, practiced Buddhist meditators deploy their brains with exceptional skill. "What we're talking about is a long-term strategy for cultivating the heart and mind to fully draw forth the beneficial capacities of the human mind," says B. Some 10 million Americans say they practice some form of meditation.
Beyond Mindfulness to Soulfulness — Spiritual Intelligence Twin Poles of Attention Witnessing In recent years the practice of mindfulness has become more widely recognised for its beneficial effects, principally as a means of calming the mind and improving clarity and focus. Presence Although the experience of presence may be intuitively clear, its nature is often misunderstood. Twin Poles of Attention The subject and object of attention are the twin poles of the mechanism of attention. Presence shifts from ego to soul at the opposite pole of attention. Ego and Soul Presence is therefore the shift from the ego to the soul, at the opposite pole of attention. Spiritual Intelligence Mindfulness therefore results from being the soul, instead of being the ego. Beyond Mindfulness to Soulfulness Sources This article is based on a synthesis of findings from different fields of scientific research, including cognitive psychology, psychoanalysis, transpersonal psychology, and neuroscience. How to Experience Spiritual Intelligence [Video] References SQ Sources
Self-defeating personality disorder - Wikipedia, the free encycl Self-defeating personality disorder (also known as masochistic personality disorder) is a proposed personality disorder. It was discussed in an appendix of the manual's revised third edition (DSM-III-R) in 1987, but was never formally admitted into the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). As an alternative, the diagnosis personality disorder not otherwise specified may be used instead. Diagnosis Definition proposed in DSM III-R for further review Self-defeating personality disorder is: A) A pervasive pattern of self-defeating behavior, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts. B) The behaviors in A do not occur exclusively in response to, or in anticipation of, being physically, sexually, or psychologically abused. C) The behaviors in A do not occur only when the person is depressed. Exclusion from DSM-IV Historically, masochism has been associated with feminine submissiveness. Millon's subtypes See also
How to think faster, better on your feet Cinematherapy: Reel Therapy During the Holidays | Psychology Tod Whether it’s , or the more contemporary , chances are you have a traditional film you always watch around this time of year. It’s probably no surprise that in addition to their entertainment value, these films embody universal messages that have the power to help you sort out your psyche and take stock of your life. Cinematherapy is a tongue-in-cheek term used to describe the use of cinema (movies) to help people explore personal concerns and gain insights about themselves. Holiday films are particularly evocative, not only because of their content, but also because they air at a time of year when we are taking stock of our lives and relationships, reflecting on endings, and imagining new beginnings. asked the group if they could recall a story or movie that reminded them of what had happened. My favorite holiday movie is not really a Christmas movie per se, but the well-loved classic . © 2009 Cathy Malchiodi, PhD, LPAT, LPCC www.cathymalchiodi.com
Self Esteem Self Esteem For printable ad-free version from this page, please click on the small printer icon. See text below for links to other printable resources. We tend to go through life evaluating ourselves and others according to a scale of worth. The idea of self esteem is the amount of value that we consider we are worth. Low self esteem can be a result of negative life experiences, particularly when we're young and most vulnerable. Low self esteem can stay low, because of our own self-critical thoughts, which can be triggered by criticism, or perceived criticism (even if none is intended, we believe we are being criticised). Self Esteem Quick Reference Sheet How Low Self Esteem affects us Emotions depressed hurt angry frustrated anxious ashamed guilty Thoughts Negative, self-critical: I'm so stupid, I'm worthless, It's my fault, I'm a failure, I'm not good enough, I'm incompetent. Behaviours An example of how this can keep our self-esteem low: The Poisoned Parrot Making Changes STOPP!
4 studies on the surprising science of mind-wandering What makes us happy? It’s one of the most complicated puzzles of human existence — and one that, so far, 87 speakers have explored in TEDTalks. In today’s talk, Matt Killingsworth (who studied under Dan Gilbert at Harvard) shares a novel approach to the study of happiness — an app, Track Your Happiness, which allows people to chart their feelings on a moment-by-moment basis. “As human beings, we have this unique ability to have our minds stray,” says Killingsworth on the TEDx stage. While most people think of mind-wandering as a lifting escape from daily drudgery, the Track Your Happiness data shows that this may not the case. According to Killingsworth’s data, people mind-wander most when in the shower and least when they are having sex. To hear more about mind-wandering — and about the importance of studying happiness in general — watch Killingsworth’s talk. A relationship to working memoryMind-wandering might make us feel less content, but it could also have a functional purpose.
You're Driving Me Crazy! Without doubt, there are big problems that afflict relationships; infidelity , abuse, and addiction are not perishing from the earth. A highly sexualized society delivers an alluring drumbeat of distractions. But it may be the petty problems that subvert love most surreptitiously. The dirty socks on the floor. Yet irritations are inevitable in relationships. We each have differing values and ways of looking at the world, and we want different things from each other. Sometimes a sock on the floor is just a sock on the floor. But small problems coalesce into a vast, submerged force when they take on a different meaning in your mind—when you add them up as evidence of a character flaw or moral defect. "You don't really live with the partner in your home. But if you want to stay in a relationship, something needs to change. Every annoyance in a relationship is really a two-way street. The ability to eliminate relationship irritants lies within each of us.
Five Rules For Life gina trapani is a tech writer and web developer; she is the founding editor of lifehacker.com and authored a book based on the website - upgrade your life: the lifehacker guide to working smarter, faster, better. read more from gina on her new blog, smarterware. Here are Gina's "Five Rules For Life": 1.) "Be the change you want to see in the world."Mahatma Gandhi's famous edict is especially relevant in the U.S. right now, as President Obama kicks off a new era of change. What change do you want to see? 2.) 3.) 4.) 5.) Gina currently resides in San Diego, California.
Conscientiousness Personality models Origin Terms such as 'hard-working,' 'reliable,' and 'persevering' describe desirable aspects of character. Because it was once believed to be a moral evaluation, conscientiousness was overlooked as a real psychological attribute. Measurement A person's level of conscientiousness is generally assessed using self-report measures, although peer-reports and third-party observation can also be used. Lexical Lexical measures use individual adjectives that reflect conscientiousness traits, such as efficient and systematic, and are very space and time efficient for research purposes. Statement Statement measures tend to comprise more words than lexical measures, so hence consume more research instrument space and more respondent time to complete. Behavior Development Currently, little is known about conscientiousness in young children because the self-report inventories typically used to assess it are not appropriate for that age group.