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Its not all aboute you

Its not all aboute you
From Los Angeles Times: It's not all about you Chances are, others aren't judging you as harshly as you think, if at all. By Benedict Carey Times Staff Writer January 13, 2003 Oh, things sure took a bad turn. Take a deep breath. A growing body of research shows that far fewer people notice our gaffes than we believe as we pace the floor in private, going over and over the faux pas. Learning to recognize this self-deception can soothe the anxiety that surrounds social interactions. The spotlight effect blinds us in several ways. A pioneer in this field, Tom Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell, has demonstrated the same exaggerated misperceptions in several situations, such as group discussions about social issues. The findings apply to most of us, of course, but not to everybody -- some people really do live under a microscope, as a chosen way of life. Most of the time a mistake is just a mistake, not a death sentence. Yet we don't expect that same empathy for ourselves.

http://homepage.psy.utexas.edu/HomePage/Class/Psy301/Niederhoffer/Articles/spotlight.html

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The Secret To A Lasting Relationship When a relationship becomes a one-way way street, it ends up at a dead end sooner or later. Learn to keep the traffic flowing both ways with conversation, forgiveness and mindful awareness to keep your relationship growing well into the future. It all starts with that inner conversation you have with yourself. Be aware of it, and find how easy it is to nurture your relationship in the direction you want it to go. At one time or another, we all transfer the frustrations from our day onto our partners. Don't get upset, it's natural.

Top 10 Things That Determine Happiness photo: meddygarnet Happiness is, by nature, a subjective quality with a definition like a moving target. There is scant evidence — qualitative or quantitative — to lend convincing support to those life variables most critical in determining individual happiness, which is likely why past researchers committed to the scientific method rarely tried to tackle the subject. This is changing. Take, for example, the World Database of Happiness in Rotterdam, self-described as a, “continuous register of scientific research on subjective appreciation of life.”

10 More Common Faults in Human Thought Humans This list is a follow up to Top 10 Common Faults in Human Thought. Thanks for everyone’s comments and feedback; you have inspired this second list! It is amazing that with all these biases, people are able to actually have a rational thought every now and then. There is no end to the mistakes we make when we process information, so here are 10 more common errors to be aware of. 50 Life Secrets and Tips Memorize something everyday.Not only will this leave your brain sharp and your memory functioning, you will also have a huge library of quotes to bust out at any moment. Poetry, sayings and philosophies are your best options.Constantly try to reduce your attachment to possessions.Those who are heavy-set with material desires will have a lot of trouble when their things are taken away from them or lost. Possessions do end up owning you, not the other way around. Become a person of minimal needs and you will be much more content.Develop an endless curiosity about this world.Become an explorer and view the world as your jungle. Stop and observe all of the little things as completely unique events. Try new things.

Often, we are what we were Ask babies who they are, and they’ll babble something that seems nonsensical. Turns out, they’re onto something. Jerome Kagan, a developmental psychologist and the Daniel and Amy Starch Professor of Psychology Emeritus, has spent the past 30 years of his lengthy career studying the temperaments of those little people, which originate in a child’s unique biology, along with the experiences that shape their personalities. These discoveries are summarized in his new book, “The Temperamental Thread.” Twenty percent of Kagan’s 4-month-old infant subjects were labeled high reactive, “a behavioral profile marked by vigorous motor activity and crying to unfamiliar experiences.” And 40 percent were labeled low reactive because they showed the opposite behaviors.

How to find true friends (and love) in 45 minutes David Rowan Editor of Wired magazine This article was featured in Times Magazine, 5 November. There's a shorter version in the Ideas Bank section on the current Wired magazine. Thanks to WPP's Stream for making my little experiment possible... Can you make someone become intimately close to you -- even fall in love with you -- in less than an hour?

Dunning–Kruger effect The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias wherein relatively unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their ability to be much higher than is accurate. The bias was first experimentally observed by David Dunning and Justin Kruger of Cornell University in 1999. Dunning and Kruger attributed the bias to the metacognitive inability of the unskilled to evaluate their own ability level accurately. Their research also suggests that conversely, highly skilled individuals may underestimate their relative competence, erroneously assuming that tasks that are easy for them also are easy for others.[1] Dunning and Kruger have postulated that the effect is the result of internal illusion in the unskilled, and external misperception in the skilled: "The miscalibration of the incompetent stems from an error about the self, whereas the miscalibration of the highly competent stems from an error about others.

Top 10 Thinking Traps Exposed Our minds set up many traps for us. Unless we’re aware of them, these traps can seriously hinder our ability to think rationally, leading us to bad reasoning and making stupid decisions. Features of our minds that are meant to help us may, eventually, get us into trouble. Here are the first 5 of the most harmful of these traps and how to avoid each one of them. 1. Law of Attraction – Take Control of Your Life Warning: This article will sound like complete bullshit to the conservative mind. If you can go into the reading with an open mind and are willing to try the methods described with the intention of attracting good things to your life, please proceed. However, if you are already swaying towards skepticism, please save this article for a time when you are dying for a change or confident that this method could work for you. This might be the most important and eye-opening article you will read in your entire life so plan accordingly.

How to Detect Lies - body language, reactions, speech patterns Interesting Info -> Lying Index -> How to Detect Lies Become a Human Lie Detector (Part 1) Warning: sometimes ignorance is bliss. After gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

Its really not all bout you, lets all just take it easy.. by chrisfabritz Sep 17

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