Its not all aboute you
From Los Angeles Times: It's not all about you Chances are, others aren't judging you as harshly as you think, if at all. By Benedict Carey Times Staff Writer January 13, 2003 Oh, things sure took a bad turn. Take a deep breath. A growing body of research shows that far fewer people notice our gaffes than we believe as we pace the floor in private, going over and over the faux pas. Learning to recognize this self-deception can soothe the anxiety that surrounds social interactions. The spotlight effect blinds us in several ways. A pioneer in this field, Tom Gilovich, a psychologist at Cornell, has demonstrated the same exaggerated misperceptions in several situations, such as group discussions about social issues. The findings apply to most of us, of course, but not to everybody -- some people really do live under a microscope, as a chosen way of life. Most of the time a mistake is just a mistake, not a death sentence. Yet we don't expect that same empathy for ourselves.
Related: Self improvment