5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying
If there’s two things Cracked is all about, it’s fucked up animals and dongs. And since they won’t let me write “The 7 Most Fucked Up Animal Dongs,” (Editor's Note: Only because it's been written already) I had to settle for focusing on just the animal stuff. So hey, here you go: Here’s a bunch of adorable animals that will probably nonetheless scar you for life. Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to hyperventilating and swearing at nature, shall we? Bears are pretty intrinsically scary, but come on – look at that guy! That’s not a bear, that’s a fat raccoon. Holy shit! If there was a color-coded scale for cuteness like there is for Terror Alert Levels, the red fox would be at Level Orange: way above Adorable Bomb Threat and just half a notch below Snuggle Jihad. I would name him Mr. Now, here’s the sound he makes: If you came of age in a small town, you’re probably already familiar with the sound red foxes make. You: Jesus, this weed is amazing. You: Don’t "what was what?"