Why Damaged People F*ck Better, Love Better And Live Better If our pasts decide who we become, then give me a past worth growing from. I don’t know about you, but I think damage is endearing. I value dark histories, growing pains and repressed memories. While a lot of people like to shy away from potential partners because they’ve survived damage and bad pasts, I embrace them. We all leave the nest with a few dents and bruises. No one comes out of life without a few scars, and even the cool kids have demons. These people belong in a special class of “fucked up.” It’s like they’ve lived three times. I’m not trying to romanticize or generalize the hardships and abuse many have faced. People who have been through it all come out on the other side incredibly strong. They know what it’s like to struggle, and they also know what it’s like to love. They’ve already been to hell, so they aren’t scared of going back. When you’ve already hit rock bottom, there’s no more fear of falling. They don’t sweat the small stuff.
Repetition compulsion Psychological phenomenon in which a person reenacts to relive an event or its circumstances Repetition compulsion is the unconscious tendency of a person to repeat a traumatic event or its circumstances. This may take the form of symbolically or literally re-enacting the event, or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to occur again. As a "key component in Freud's understanding of mental life, 'repetition compulsion' ... describes the pattern whereby people endlessly repeat patterns of behaviour which were difficult or distressing in earlier life". Freud Sigmund Freud's use of the concept of "repetition compulsion" (German: Wiederholungszwang) was first defined in the article of 1914, Erinnern, Wiederholen und Durcharbeiten ("Remembering, Repeating and Working-Through"). Here he noted how "the patient does not remember anything of what he has forgotten and repressed, he acts it out, without, of course, knowing that he is repeating it ... See also
Narrative psychology Arbitrary and capricious Narrative psychology is a perspective in psychology concerned with the "storied nature of human conduct", that is, how human beings deal with experience by observing stories and listening to the stories of others. Operating under the assumption that human activity and experience are filled with "meaning" and stories, rather than dentests or lawful formulations, narrative psychology is the study of how human beings construct stories to deal with experiences. Definition The word narrative is used as a specific method. History Psychologists became interested in stories and everyday accounts of life in the 1970s. Jerome Bruner explored the "narrative kind of knowing" in a more empirical way in his 1986 book Actual Minds, Possible Worlds. Bruner makes a distinction between "paradigmatic" and "narrative" forms of thought, proposing that they are both fundamental but irreducible to one another. The narrative approach was also furthered by Dan P. T.L.
Borderline Personality Disorder Abandonment Wound in BPD, BPD Coach A.J. Mahari At the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder lies abandonment. Abandonment trauma, abandonment depression, abandonment fears, and the deep and most primal narcissistic intra-psychic injury a human being can ever hope to survive - the core wound of abandonment. It is very common for a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) to have deep issues with abandonment, both real actual abandonment, and/or abandonment that is perceived by them. (or perhaps is thought to be about to take place) It is one of the "traits" or diagnostic criteria for BPD. In my own case what I know about this the core wound of abandonment. is that I was abandoned (in the sense that my needs were not met - along with having been sexually and physically abused) as a young child and that it not only is the major reason I had Borderline Personality Disorder but that it changed the entire course of my life until I was in serious therapy at the age of 33. I was wounded. I was first abandoned. © Ms. A.J.
Fear of Abandonment Issues and Therapy Treatment Abandonment fears typically stem from a loss in childhood, such as the loss of a parent through death or divorce, but they can also result from inadequate physical or emotional care. In adulthood, these early-childhood experiences result in fear of being abandoned by the significant people in one’s life. While some degree of abandonment fear may be a normal part of being human, when the fear of abandonment is severe, frequent, and impossible to comfort, it can cause significant impairment, particularly with regard to developing healthy relationships. Psychological Issues Associated with Abandonment A person who has experienced abandonment is likely to encounter long-term psychological challenges, based primarily on the fear that abandonment will recur. Abandonment and Trauma Healthy development requires adequate physical and emotional care, and unmet needs can result in feelings of abandonment. Therapy to Minimize Fear of Abandonment Case Example Share Your Story about Abandonment
Abandonment | Abandonment Support | Abandonment Issues | Abandonment Therapy | Susan Anderson © Susan Anderson May 11, 2013 Click here to return to Recent Articles. I’ve received thousands of letters from people telling me how abandonment trauma has wrecked their lives. Anxiety overwhelms them when they attempt a new relationship. They feel a painful lack of trust toward any potential partner which caused them to panic and withdraw. They hate their anxiety, hyper-sensitivity, and neediness for the way it’s ruined their lives. Can you identify with any of this? There are millions of abandonment survivors in our very midst who have run out of hope and feel condemned to loneliness and helplessness forever. But if you were to meet a roomful of these people (you’d meet many at an abandonment workshop), you would see there is nothing wrong with them. You would also see that each of them is capable of turning their lives around. There is no magic bullet for the abandonment syndrome – just a lot of work to change your patterns.
Comfort Zone - May 2007 - A Meditation for HSPs on Criticism, the Killer As a therapist and an HSP, I am often coming up with things that make me say, "Oh, that is really the basic problem we all have (HSPs and non)." I'm writing a book about one of those, the distortions we make about love and power, in particular seeing things through a lens of power when love is what is there. Another That's It is the role of shame in all of our lives--how we humans will do almost ANYTHING to avoid that feeling of "I'm a bad person." My latest That's It is related to shame, and has been bubbling in the back of my mind for a long time. It is about the HSP's intense reaction to criticism. Everyone feels it. The reaction to criticism is probably tripled in HSPs. In this article, however, I want to assume the criticism is at least partly true. The Problem is Everywhere We all want to be open to criticism and improve ourselves. What are some other examples when we have to bear valid criticism besides psychotherapy? He exploded: "Me dominating you? Oops. Getting "All Defensive"
16 Habits Of Highly Sensitive People Do you feel like you reflect on things more than everyone else? Do you find yourself worrying about how other people feel? Do you prefer quieter, less chaotic environments? If the above sound true to you, you may be highly sensitive. While recent interest in introversion — driven largely by high-profile publications on the subject, including Susan Cain’s book “Quiet,” — has brought more awareness to personality traits that value less stimulation and higher sensitivity, Aron notes that highly sensitive people still tend to be considered the “minority.” But “minority” doesn’t mean bad — in fact, being highly sensitive carries a multitude of positive characteristics. 1. One of the hallmark characteristics of highly sensitive people is the ability to feel more deeply than their less-sensitive peers. 2. People who are highly sensitive will react more in a situation. 3. Depending on the culture, sensitivity can be perceived as an asset or a negative trait, Zeff explains. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
What Makes a Highly Sensitive Person? My mom called me her “flapper” when I was a baby. Whenever I got excited, I would flap my arms, like I was young chick taking off for flight … in front of a hawk. I still do that, to some extent, but I manage to keep the arm movements to a minimum extension. I am easily excitable, a “highly sensitive person,” as defined by Elaine Aron in her bestseller, The Highly Sensitive Person. Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby? This is not a terrible curse. We highly sensitive people have gifts and aptitudes unavailable to the person who is oblivious to the fly that just landed on his eggs and that girl who doesn’t wonder if there is some symbolic meaning in the leaf that has just fallen from the oak tree in front of her. I once interviewed Douglas Eby, a writer and researcher, and the creator of the Talent Development Resources series of sites, on the “perks” of being highly sensitive. Sensory detail.