background preloader

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men

When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men
In the 1600s, a man named James Mattock was expelled from the First Church of Boston. His crime? It wasn’t using lewd language or smiling on the sabbath or anything else that we might think the Puritans had disapproved of. Rather, James Mattock had refused to have sex with his wife for two years. Though Mattock’s community clearly saw his self-deprivation as improper, it is quite possible that they had his wife’s suffering in mind when they decided to shun him. The Puritans believed that sexual desire was a normal and natural part of human life for both men and women (as long as it was heterosexual and confined to marriage), but that women wanted and needed sex more than men. Yet today, the idea that men are more interested in sex than women is so pervasive that it seems almost unremarkable. The idea that men are naturally more interested in sex than women is ubiquitous that it’s difficult to imagine that people ever believed differently. Yet the times were clearly changing.

Related:  Sexual Violence in Baroque PaintingSEXEStéréotypie sexisteGender and SexualitySexisme

The First Sex Manual Published in North America, 1766 The first sex education text printed in North America may have come with a fake pedigree, but it went on to distinction as the go-to for thousands of sexually curious young people. The first American edition, printed in Boston in 1766, is titled Aristotle’s Complete Master-Piece, In Three Parts; Displaying the Secrets of Nature in the Generation of Man (find a copy online here). Since its first publication in England in 1684, it has seen dozens of editions, some more “Complete” than others, and with various titles, with publishers adding, editing, and rewriting material as they saw fit. The first American copy (title page above) appends a work called A Treasure of Health, or The Family Physician, as an attempt, most likely, to give the controversial Master-Piece legitimacy as a medical textbook. There’s quite a bit of meaning for early modern literary scholars to tease out and religious conservatives to agree with.

Polyamorous Relationships Are About More Than Just Couples  Over the past few years, polyamory has become a more widely known term and practice. And perhaps inevitably, certain misconceptions and misunderstandings about what "polyamory" means have become widespread as well. It would be unfortunately difficult to say which among these misunderstandings is the most common, or the most hurtful to polyamorous folks. But there's one in particular that I'd like to discuss: the idea that "polyamory" means "committed couple who have casual partners on the side." There has been much talk about "open marriage" and "open relationships" in recent years, with some even paradoxically dubbing non-monogamy "the new monogamy."

On Labeling Women 'Crazy' I've had to quit telling stories about crazy exes or women I've dated. The problem was that I started realizing that when my friends and I would talk about our crazy exes or what-have-you, more often than not, we weren't talking about ex-girlfriends or random dates who exhibited signs of genuine mental health issues. Now I did have a few where I would qualify my story with, "No, I don't mean 'we broke up and I can't be bothered to figure out where things went wrong, I mean that she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and was starting to show signs of genuine paranoia," but for the most part, crazy meant "acting in a way I didn't like." And I didn't realize just how damaging this attitude was in the way I related to women.

XKV8R: The Official Blog of Dr. Robert R. Cargill Have you ever wondered what real “Biblical Marriage” looks like? Before you go arguing for “traditional,” “biblical” marriage, take a look at this handy dandy chart. Chart of Biblical Marriage So essentially, you can have your choice of anything from the chart and you can still be considered “biblical.” You raped someone?

The Danger of the Monster Myth Tom Meagher One of the most disturbing moments of the past eighteen months of my life was hearing my wife’s killer form a coherent sentence in court. Jill had been murdered almost six months earlier, and Adrian Bayley’s defence team were presenting a rather feeble case for a four-week adjournment of his committal hearing. Bayley appeared via video-link as I sat flanked by two friends and a detective. The screen was to my right, mounted high up and tilted slightly towards the bench. It was uncomfortably silent apart from the occasional paper shuffle or short flurry of keyboard clicks. Goya Was Right What the 60 Minutes Segment on the Art Market Really Said We've refrained from reflecting on the 60 Minutes segment by Morley Safer about the art world market. But since others like Jerry Saltz and Roberta Smith have waded into the commentary cesspool we decided to give you a complete analysis of what was said on Sunday's program. Read carefully. April 3, 2012

Fucking With Feministing: What’s the deal with anal? Welcome to Fucking with Feministing! We’re so excited to launch this new, monthly sex advice column where we’ll be answering questions straight from awesome readers like you! I’m Sesali and I’ll be your resident sexpert with the help of our friends at the Center for Sex & Culture (CSC) who have partnered with us to make sure that we have smart and safe with our sexy! We’re looking forward to helping you stay informed and hopefully have great sex, my feminism wouldn’t be complete without it. Send your questions to and each month we’ll pick a question to talk about here. Questions will remain anonymous.

How We Teach Our Kids That Women Are Liars The message that women are untrustworthy liars is everywhere in our culture—from TV and music, to politics and religion, says Soraya Chemaly. Two weeks ago a man in France was arrested for raping his daughter. She’d gone to her school counselor and then the police, but they needed “hard evidence.” So, she videotaped her next assault. Her father was eventually arrested.

Why is Christianity opposed to sexuality? […] Why is Christianity opposed to sexuality, accepting it as a necessary evil only if it serves its natural purpose of procreation? Not because in sexuality our lower nature explodes, but precisely because sexuality competes with pure spirituality as the primordial meta-physical activity. The Freudian hypothesis is that the passage from animal instincts (of mating) to sexuality proper (to drives) is the primordial step from physical realm of biological (animal) life to meta-physics, to eternity and immortality, to a level which is heterogeneous with regard to the biological cycle of generation and corruption. (This is why the Roman Catholic argument that sex without procreation, whose aim is not procreation but the fulfillment of lust, is animal is wrong: the exact opposite is true, sex spiritualizes itself only when it abstracts from its natural end and becomes an end-in-itself.)

What if 'he' and 'she' were interchangeable in a game's story? Comments made by Assassin's Creed Unity developers during E3 kicked off a conversation about the gender of playable video game characters, and one game writer recently pondered whether it would matter if a character's gender were simply made interchangeable. In response to Ubisoft's statement that more than 8,000 animations would have to be redone in order for Assassin's Creed Unity to offer female avatars in its co-op mode, an animator who worked on Assassin's Creed 3 told Polygon that developers could just "replace a handful of animations" since male and female skeletons aren't usually very different — although he admitted that would be a "compromise in quality." Sande Chen, a veteran game writer with credits including The Witcher, wrote in a blog post on Game Design Aspect of the Month last week that the aforementioned discussion reminded her of another thought experiment about characters' gender.

The Judith massacre: hang ye up this head upon our walls In my last post we saw how God helped Judith cut off the head of Holofernes. It probably looked something like this. Not a pretty picture, eh? But God had a good reason for inspiring this act of barbarism: he did it to encourage the troops and to terrorize the opposition. Here's how it happened. Fucking With Feministing: Vaginal Orgasms Welcome to the second installment of Fucking with Feministing (check out our first installment here)! This monthly sex advice column is the place where readers get feminist advice on my favorite subject! I’m Sesali and I’ll be your resident sexpert with the help of our friends at the Center for Sex & Culture (CSC) who have partnered with us to make sure that we have smart and safe with our sexy! We’re looking forward to helping you stay informed and hopefully have great sex, my feminism wouldn’t be complete without it.

24 Lies People Like To Tell Women 1. There is such a thing as a “real” woman and she is defined by “having curves,” which is not to be confused with “being fat,” and if you fall too far outside of that particular bell curve, you do not count as a “real” woman. 2. There is something inherently wrong with you if you have slept with a certain number of people, and it must be the result of some former trauma or unfinished business you have. 3. There is something inherently wrong with you if you are insisting on remaining a virgin until marriage, or indefinitely, and it is something that can be rectified with “the right man.”

A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships question of whether people in modern society are psychologically or relationally advantaged by monogamy relative to other relationship styles. We suggest that because the bi as in favor of monogamy is pervasive, the assumption of monogamy’s superiority as a lifestyle is largely unexamined in empirical psychological literature.