Ordinary people can be drop dead funny. Latest additions: 1/21/11 Human speech is directly responsible for almost every thought and emotion we have throughout life's journey. This page features humor that bypasses that. Slips and Gaffes Accident Reports -- Descriptions of accidents as written on insurance claim forms. Questions, Suggestions, and Complaints Forest Service Feedback -- City folk suggest improvements to the outdoors. Things Kids Say Kids' Ideas About Love -- 5 to 10 year olds expound on love and marriage. Stupidity Warning Labels -- In today's litigious society, products need ridiculously obvious instructions. Famous People Yogi Berra -- Verbal blunders from one of baseball's legends. For goofs and gaffes related to computers, visit: RinkWorks Things People Said is a RinkWorks production. Talk Back Currently we are NOT accepting new submissions, as we are backlogged and have little hope of catching up any time in the near future. Legalese
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Things People Said: Courtroom QuotationsThe following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know." Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?" Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?" Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?" Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?" Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?" Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?" Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?" Lawyer: "Mr.
s "The Reference Desk" - Business, Math, Science, Engineering, Technology, Language, Medical, Veterinary, Livestock, Gardening, Photography, Music, Recipes, etc.Quotes and Famous Sayings - The Quotations PageHow To Be A Successful Evil OverlordHow to be a Successful Evil Overlord by Peter Anspach Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists, or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglas visors, not face concealing ones.
Top Films of the 1990sTOP TEN FILMS OF THE 1990s Return to Main Film Page 1. MAGNOLIA (Paul Thomas Anderson) 2. THE TALENTED MR. RIPLEY (Anthony Minghella) 3. EYES WIDE SHUT (Stanley Kubrick) 4. Honorable Mention: THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (Myrick & Sanchez); COOKIE'S FORTUNE (Altman); ELECTION (Payne); EXISTENZ (Cronenberg); THE LIMEY (Soderberg); THE LITTLE THIEF (Zonca); M/OTHER (Suwa); MR. Notable Shorts: THE CURVE (Rohmer); FAST AS YOU CAN (Anderson); LET FOREVER BE (Gondry); OUTER SPACE (Tscherkassky) Most Overrated: THE HURRICANE (Jewison); THE SIXTH SENSE (Shyamalan) 1998 1. Honorable Mention: AUTUMN TALE (Rohmer); BUFFALO '66 (Gallo); CLASS TRIP (Miller); THE GENERAL (Boorman); I STAND ALONE (Noe); THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO (Stillman); LATE AUGUST, EARLY SEPTEMBER (Assayas); MY NAME IS JOE (Loach); THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY (Farrelly); ZERO EFFECT (Kasden) Notable Shorts: ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (Anderson); LICK THE STAR (Coppola); PRAISE YOU (Jonze); THIS IS HARDCORE (Nichol) 1997 1. 1996 1. 1995 1. 1994 1.
Quote/CounterquoteAmerican Society for Velociraptor Attack PreventionSmall Business Ideas NowQuote Investigator | Dedicated to tracing quotationsInternet Humor Archive - Simpsonisms"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs." "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." "You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine." "Marge, don't discourage the boy! "If you really want something in life you have to work for it. "To alcohol! "I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! "I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. "Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda." "Step aside everyone! "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get." "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
A Simple Novel Outline – 9 questions for 25 chapters « H.E. RouloJust as every tree is different but still recognizably a tree, every story is different but contains elements that make it a story. By defining those before you begin you clarify the scope of your work, identify your themes, and create the story you meant to write. At Norwescon 2011 I sat in on a session called Outline Your Novel in 90-minutes led by Mark Teppo. I’ll give you the brief, readable, synthesized version. Here are the 9 questions to create a novel: 1.) 2.) 3.) 4.) 5.) 6.) 7.) 8.) 9.) Now, with those 9 questions answered to your satisfaction, try to fill in a 25 chapter, 75,000 word outline. Chapters 7-18 are the middle of your book. Chapters 19-25 depict the heroic act to victory. Wasn’t that easy? Okay, sure, the work isn’t done yet. Using the idea that there are 25 chapters, I outlined my current work in progress. I hope that was helpful. Tell me what works for you. Related 6 Steps to Masterful Writing Critiques June 7, 2013 In "Writing Tips" Writers love to write. In "News"
Wisdom QuotesFunny Anti JokesWhat are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Want more?