5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie. So there. Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse: Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. All it takes is someone with resources and a need for a mindless workforce of totally obedient slave labor. How long until somebody tries this? As seen in... What are they? How it can result in zombies: Scientists have already created a nano-cyborg, by fusing a tiny silicone chip to a virus. According to studies, within a decade they'll have nanobots that can crawl inside your brain and set up neural connections to replace damaged ones. Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse: Do the math, people. Some day there will be nanobots in your brain. The nanobots will be programmed to self-replicate, and the death of the host will mean the end of the nanobots. Science has proven it.
5 Ridiculous Gun Myths Everyone Believes (Thanks to Movies) Even in gun-crazy America, most of us aren't shooting things as part of our day-to-day routine. So most Americans actually know very little about guns. Hollywood writers realized this a long time ago and, being writers, used it as an excuse to never do any fact-checking ever again. Silencers Turn Gunfire Into a Gentle Whisper Where You've Seen It: In The Line Of Fire, Die Hard 2, No Country For Old Men, Shooter, practically every James Bond movie. The Myth: Cautious spies and assassins know that if you're going to take out a bad guy in an office or a library, be sure to use a silencer. Above: Stealth. Itty-bitty handguns aren't the only things you can silence. Also, while silencers look all slick and expensive and fancy, Hollywood says pretty much any long, hollow tube will do the job. The Problem: Exploding gunpowder is loud. If you can't watch the video, let us sum it up: It still sounds like a freaking handgun. So a silencer really just makes a large gun sound like a smaller gun.
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain We like to feel superior to the people who lived centuries ago, what with their shitty mud huts and curing colds by drilling a hole in their skulls. But we have to give them credit: They left behind some artifacts that have left the smartest of modern scientists scratching their heads. For instance, you have the following enigmas that we believe were created for no other purpose than to fuck with future generations. The Voynich Manuscript The Mystery: The Voynich manuscript is an ancient book that has thwarted all attempts at deciphering its contents. It appears to be a real language--just one that nobody has seen before. Translation: "...and when you get her to put the tennis racket in her mouth, have her stand in a fountain for a while. There is not even a consensus on who wrote it, or even when it was written. Why Can't They Solve It? Could you? Don't even try. As you can imagine, proposed solutions have been all over the board, from reasonable to completely clownshit. Our Guess:
5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed) Everybody has a zombie contingency plan. A unique and ingenious stratagem they've spent hours contemplating that ensures they and their loved ones will stay alive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The only problem? You've got the exact same essential plan as everybody else: go raid the gun store, get out of the cities as fast as possible, find a sturdy base to fortify and hole up in, use a melee weapon whenever possible to conserve ammo and--if the worst does come to pass and you find yourself facing down a crowd of the undead--take your time, aim carefully and make every shot a head shot. Jesus, you're not going to last five minutes. #5. First things first: You need a firearm. The only problem being: So does everybody else. The closest gun shop to your house is also the closest gun shop to a thousand other people's houses, and at least a few dozen of them are going to get there before you. "You can have my gun... when you come down to my place of business and ask politely. #4. #3.
5 Adorable Animals That Are Turning to the Dark Side Let's face it, animals are bastards. With all of the ant slavery, ape war and duck rape in the world, it's easy to decide nature is something best left to the wild. But there are those animals that -- thanks to Disney and The Far Side -- we tend to think are more likely to dispense witty one liners than bite our face. But while we've been busy rooting for them, they've been quietly revealing their true colors ... The Good Squirrels are Exhibit A in what a cute face and a bushy tail can do for your cred among humans. The Evil The animal kingdom is like prison. "Come on, take the first swing. Between May 2006 and March 2007, multiple squirrels attacked 13 people, mostly children. Sure. Fish and Game declared the squirrels in the park a "threat to continued public safety" and began trapping and killing them. This is not an isolated incident. Not pictured: Baseball bats and a lot of lye soap. According to eyewitness testimony, the squirrels descended and tore the dog to pieces.
The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in ghosts, there are some places in which none of us would want to spend a night. These places have well earned their reputations as being so creepy, tragic or mysterious (or all three) that they definitely qualify as "haunted." Places like... Aokigahara is a woodland at the base of Mount Fuji in Japan that makes The Blair Witch Project forest look like Winnie the Pooh's Hundred Acre Wood. It probably has something to do with all the dead bodies scattered around. What Niagara Falls is to weddings, Aokigahara is to suicide. More than 500 fucking people have taken their own lives in Aokigahara since the 1950s. The trend has supposedly started after Seicho Matsumoto published his novel Kuroi Kaiju (Black Sea of Trees) where two of his characters commit suicide there. Also skulls. Besides bodies and homemade nooses, the area is littered with signs displaying such uplifting messages like "Life is a precious thing! Winchester Mystery House Oh, bitch...!
Public Restrooms Public restrooms serve as both a creative playground for horrible people, and also as an outlet for those who like wrecking a place. Beware: it's dangerous in there.&&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Tri Just The Facts 110% of the craps taken in a public restroom are diarrhea. Landmarks, Hazards and Annoyances Public restrooms are a veritable wasteland of desperation and diarrhea. Public restrooms always include at least all of the following... Graffiti - Definitely the highlight of a typical field trip to the crapper. Hieroglypshits, if you will. Turdffiti - The worst thing you can find in a bathroom. Floor Turd (could also be a Sink, Wall, or Toilet Tank Turd) - Turds on the ground. Broken Toilet - Happens every time you have to take an earth shattering, spleen passing, life threatening zeppelin of a dump. Pee Gel - Describes the coagulated layer of urine present on every public restroom floor. Glory Hole - Where perverts live. Log Paper - Sometimes there will be toilet paper available.
9 Famous Movie Villains Who Were Right All Along Being a movie villain is not easy. Nobody respects your work, everyone loves your sworn enemy, and cheers if he straight up murders your ass. Of course, the villains deserve it, right? Well, actually Hollywood is littered with supposedly evil characters that, when you take a step back and ignore the cackling laughter and yellow teeth, were clearly the ones getting screwed over. Here are the so called bad guys who got the rawest deals of all: #9. The "villain": Mr. Above: The eyes of an educator. Hold on a minute there: Let's get the obvious out of the way: this is his goddamned job. The movie glosses over the fact that Ferris couldn't read And you know what? And we're asked to sit back and say, "serves him right for caring about the future of our country!" Suddenly the recession makes sense. #8. The Night of Broken Glasses would end differently. If they require licenses for concealed handguns, they should probably keep this guy on file too. And what happens when he can't? #7. Simba: Wow... #6.