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3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married
I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married. Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed. This “disruption” came suddenly and was disguised as a 5-foot-nothing Swedish-Filipino woman. This decision introduced my most significant experiences and most challenging experiences—none of which I would trade for the world. However, I wish I’d had a bit more insight on the front end of our marriage to help me navigate it all. According to most research, more than 50 percent of people who say “I do” will not be sleeping in the same bed eight years from now. Although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. The following are three thoughts on marriage that friends and mentors have shared with me. 1. Here’s the truth: I get annoyed at my wife. 2. It’s a disorienting claim. 3. Related:  Marriage

Utility Journal: Tip Sheet: Tea There are plenty of reasons to drink tea, and knowledge is power when it comes to getting the best from your own. So in this first Tip Sheet article, we’ve compiled a concise round-up of useful information about earth’s second favorite beverage (water is the first). Tea usually contains one third to one half as much caffeine as coffee. You can cook with it. When convenience isn’t a concern, loose-leaf brewing with an infuser is preferable to brewing with tea bags. Don’t try to make iced tea stronger by steeping it longer – it’ll become bitter. When brewing with loose leaves, a good rule of thumb is one heaping teaspoon for every cup of water you’re brewing. Before you buy seemingly healthy bottled tea from the supermarket, check the label. Different types of tea should be brewed at different temperatures for different lengths of time. It’s important to remember that tea leaves that have been cut or chopped will release their flavor faster than whole leaves. Title photo by Gözde Otman

5 Ways to Sabotage Your Marriage Before It Starts - Daly Focus - Online Community - Focus on the Family Community Most people don’t get married planning to divorce, but the research suggests so much of what they do before they wed sadly leads them to that place. Part of the reason might be that, as a culture, we’re often more enamored with the wedding than the actual marriage. A colleague of mine once worked in a church office. He regularly encountered heartbroken brides-to-be who made the mistake of booking the reception hall before the sanctuary, only to discover the church was already taken. I don’t think this woman is alone. This is why I want to share with you a list created by pulling together the collective wisdom of some of Focus’ marriage experts. 1. Some couples stumble into cohabitation. Other couples plan everything out and enter into this type of relationship with marriage in view. There are more points in this must-read piece. 2. 3. For some, it’s an unpopular passage of Scripture. Those may be tough words to swallow, but God included them in His Word for a purpose. 4. 5. Dr.

10 Reasons Why 2013 Will Be The Year You Quit Your Job Editor’s note: James Altucher is an investor, programmer, author, and several-times entrepreneur. His latest books are I Was Blind But Now I See and 40 Alternatives to College. Please follow him on Twitter @jaltucher. People read TechCrunch because they want to create something, they don’t want to follow orders all of their lives, and they want financial freedom. Getting the things you want is hard but for reasons I explain below, you now have no other choice. But don’t wait for shortcuts. You can’t make money without selling something real. And now it’s too late. Jabba’s newest employee 1) The middle class is dead. He said, “look out the windows.” “Not all the news is bad,” he said. And that’s the new paradigm. And it was. 2) You’ve been replaced. I’m on the board of directors of a temp staffing company with $600 million in revenues. Flush. Robots are the new middle class 3) Corporations don’t like you. “What’s the problem?” When I say a “major news publication” I am talking MAJOR. WHAT?

The Rebel God: Realistic Nonviolence #2: Enemy love as the heart of nonviolence In my previous post I discussed the infamous "what-if" questions that people invariably raise when the topic of nonviolence and enemy love come up, and suggested that what we really need to do is hear the question behind the question: People have a legitimate concern that nonviolence entails inaction in the face of harm being done to oneself or a loved one. I stressed that this is not the case, and argued that we need to articulate in concrete and practical terms how nonviolence addresses these issues as a viable alternative to violence. Some pacifists argue that Christians should simply follow Jesus’ way of nonviolence regardless of whether it makes sense to them. As much as I respect their commitment to nonviolence, I want to suggest that this is a potentially dangerous and harmful position to take. Now, I hope you'll agree that this is not what Jesus intended. For many the term nonviolence is associated with the political protests made famous by Gandhi and Martin Luther King.

How to Stop Being Afraid of Being Loved or Falling in Love Edit Article Edited by BabyxKitten, Ben Rubenstein, Travis Derouin, Jonathan E. and 17 others Are you afraid to fall in love? Does the thought of being loved by someone scare you? Love scars can lead you to avoid love altogether, for fear of being hurt again. Ad Steps 1Understand that the feeling of love is permissible. 5Don't give up your other passions. Tips Remember that love is a multi-colored, many splendid thing that is hard to confine to one-box-fits-all or to a singular definition. Warnings Be careful that you aren't mistaking "Love" for loneliness. I am a feminist « pissedoffladies I’m a feminist. I’m a feminist because I believe women are equal to men, should be treated equally and should have equal rights. I’m a feminist because I believe women should have the right to make their own life choices, to decide for themselves how they wish to live their lives. I’m a feminist because I believe women should have total control over their own bodies, which includes access to health care, contraceptives and legal, safe abortion. I’m a feminist because I believe women should be able to define their own sexuality, to make their own decisions about with whom, when, where and why they engage in sexual activity, and to make their own decisions regarding consent. I’m a feminist because I believe women should be able to wear what they want and to alter their appearance however they feel comfortable. I’m a feminist because I believe women are human beings, and therefore have human rights, like the rest of the human population. With me so far? Sounds easy, right? But we don’t.

Leaving One Spouse Does Not Guarantee a Happy Life With Another September 30, 2013|6:46 am "I just want to be happy." We hear that regularly from people who want to end their marriages. The premise is simple: I am not happy in this marriage but I will be happy if it ends. Sometimes a marriage should end. There are several reasons that occurs. A Faulty Assumption People seem to have an underlying assumption that after divorce they will fall into the arms of the lover of their dreams. Follow us Get CP eNewsletter ›› Sometimes I think that I could motivate people to salvage their marriages if I could get them to understand some of the underlying reasons that 44% of the adult population in America are single. It is easy to find someone who will use you; it is difficult to find someone who will selflessly love you. I know many beautiful, intelligent women with great jobs and dazzling personalities who are alone, though that is not their preference. Before you end your marriage, consider how likely it is to find a solid, loving relationship. Now she is alone.

Women Need to Realize Work Isn't School - Whitney Johnson and Tara Mohr Academic institutions are churning out ever-more female graduates. But the very skills that propel women to the top of the class in school are earning us middle-of the-pack marks in the workplace. Indeed, a recent study found that women account for 51.4% of middle managers in the U.S. but only 4.2% of Fortune 500 CEO’s. In school, being disruptive might get you sent to the principal’s office, but in business, disruption is a proven path to success, describing innovations that take root at the low end of the market, or create a new market, and then eventually upend an industry. Consider disrupting yourself when it comes to these five areas — areas where the skills you honed as a high-achieving student are likely doing you a disservice in your career: 1. This approach may get you some initial gold stars, but it won’t get you what you really want, which is to be an indispensable player, not just to your boss, but in your industry. 2. 3. 4. 5.

5 Lies Every Twentysomething Needs to Stop Believing Sarah had been told all her life she could do anything she wanted, that success was right around the corner. But now, stuck in a menial job at 25, with no big career in sight, she—like many twentysomethings—was feeling the pangs of disillusionment. This sense of disillusionment often stems from the lies we’ve been told and have told ourselves. We’ve been lied to, and these lies are holding us back. You are not alone in your struggle, questions, wondering what’s next?, now what? Too many twentysomethings are driving through the twists and turns of their twenties with windshields covered in mud, lies and half-truths. We need to hose these lies off right now or spend our twenties stuck on the side of the road. If we’re going to walk forward with the answers to the major questions we should be asking, successfully navigating our twenties, then we need to stop believing the following lies right now: 1. Our twenties are tough. We all need help. No one has it all figured out. 2. 3. 4. 5.

“Decide What You Want or Need to Do, and Then Do It With All Your Power.” Happiness interview with Chris Yeh. I was e-introduced to Silicon Valley investor and entrepreneur Chris Yeh by my online-then-real-life friend Jackie Danicki. Chris has been building Internet businesses since 1995 (which, if I recall correctly, was about the time that I actually used the Internet for the first time). He’s the VP Marketing for PBWorks, the world’s leading provider of hosted collaboration solutions, and he played a role in starting many other Internet companies. I was very curious to hear Chris’s perspective on happiness. Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier? What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old? Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness? Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost? Do you work on being happier?

Complain must give suggestion one ah? Siao. – Signs of Struggle I want to put paid to this idiocy of insisting that people give solutions if they want to complain. It is a foolish sort of logic, bred by Orwellian elitists in ivory towers. Two comments in TODAY, one fueled by the illogic of the other, demanded that Singaporeans stop complaining unless they have constructive suggestions to offer. They derided Singaporean’s complaints as the whining of “petulant children”. While Lim Sing Tat’s letter was directed at the Punggol Rooftop Childcare Centre issue, he borrowed heavily from Charles Tan Meah Yang’s piece and offered no new insight except a call for the government to be harsher on those who voiced unhappiness. Tan’s article is better and contains many salient points, his reasoned tone shows that he probably does not mean to inflame. The flawed logic runs deep, concealed by a veneer of faux-constructiveness. Granted, there are many whose complaints are unreasonable. If a taxi driver is going too fast, can we not say, “You’re going too fast”?