Les neufs lois de la relation amoureuse heureuse Si quelqu’un pouvait vous offrir sur un plateau la liste des étapes à suivre pour vivre heureux en couple jusqu’à la fin de vos jours, vous les suivriez probablement à la lettre, n’est-ce pas? Alors, assoyez-vous un instant et prenez le temps de bien les assimiler car ces étapes, les voici. On pense souvent, à tort, que les relations de couple sont par définition difficiles et compliquées. Lors de nos premières relations amoureuses, on rencontre tellement d’obstacles que l’on finit par croire que, d’une histoire à une autre, les hommes sont tous pareils et que ça ne sert à rien de forcer les choses. Loi nº 1 N’aimez qu’une personne qui vous aime en retour Suivre ce simple conseil a le pouvoir d’éviter à une grande majorité de gens environ 95% des peines amoureuses qu’ils pourraient vivre au cours de leur vie. Loi nº 2 Le sexe compte… énormément! Le débat a pris des proportions inégalées : qu’est-ce qui est le plus important, l’amour ou le sexe ? Loi nº 3 Loi nº 4 Loi nº 5 Loi nº 6 Loi nº 7
Alain de Botton on Love, Vulnerability, and the Psychological Paradox of the Sulk - Brain Pickings - Pocket Alain de Botton “Nothing awakens us to the reality of life so much as a true love,” Vincent van Gogh wrote to his brother. “Why is love rich beyond all other possible human experiences and a sweet burden to those seized in its grasp?” philosopher Martin Heidegger asked in his electrifying love letters to Hannah Arendt. The multiple sharp-edged facets of this question are what Alain de Botton explores in The Course of Love (public library) — a meditation on the beautiful, tragic tendernesses and fragilities of the human heart, at once unnerving and assuring in its psychological insightfulness. In fact, as the book progresses, one gets the distinct and surprisingly pleasurable sense that De Botton has sculpted the love story around the robust armature of these philosophical meditations; that the essay is the raison d’être for the fiction. Art from Strong as a Bear by Katrin Stangl Art by Isol from Daytime Visions
How the Five "Love Languages" Can Help You Win at Relationships - Lifehacker - Pocket 7 biggest parenting mistakes that destroy kids' confidence Every parent wants their kids to feel good about themselves — and with good reason. Studies have shown that confident kids experience benefits ranging from less anxiety and improved performance in school to increased resilience and healthier relationships. As a psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do,” I’ve seen many parents engage in strategies they believe will build their children’s confidence. But some of those strategies can backfire, creating a vicious cycle where kids struggle to feel good about who they are. Here are the seven biggest parenting mistakes that crush kids’ confidence: 1. While you might think chores will weigh your kids down and add to their stress level, pitching in around the house will help them become more responsible citizens. Doing age-appropriate duties helps them feel a sense of mastery and accomplishment. 2. It’s tough to watch your child fail, get rejected or mess up on something. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
What to Do When You Feel Let Down by Someone Source: Pixabay Notice that I didn’t title this piece: “What to Do When Someone Lets You Down.” That’s because, in my experience, it’s not what happens to us that makes us unhappy. It’s how we react to it — and how we “feel” is the core of that reaction. A few years ago, I felt let down by a friend. article continues after advertisement Then, suddenly, her life changed dramatically — in a way that was wonderful for her. I experienced a range of emotions, some of them seemingly contradictory. In Song of Myself, Walt Whitman wrote that there’s nothing wrong with experiencing conflicting emotions. To get a handle on what was happening, I decided to make a list of unhelpful responses to feeling let down by someone. Unhelpful Responses 1. Anger didn’t help at all. The fact is, life is always in flux. 2. To my surprise, I experienced some fear over what was happening — fear that I might lose all my friends and all my support. 3. Helpful Responses 1. Change is an inevitable part of life. 2. 3. 4.
What is a softboi? You might be dating one – and you don't even know it | Life and style “I don’t deal in base desires such as social media. I pursue beautiful women and even more beautiful poetry.” “I feel like I’ve dreamt of you in colors that don’t exist.” “My parents live in Hoxton. If you’ve ever sent or received a message similar to this, you may already know what a softboi is. Softboi behaviour is nothing new, but the term itself has rapidly grown in popularity in recent years. To learn more – and see just how extensive the trend is – the Instagram page Beam Me Up Soft Boi is the best available resource. Hi Iona. There’s a softboi spectrum. What are three terms you’d use to describe a softboi? Alternative. You can assign those qualities to a lot of people, but you’re saying it’s the alternativeness that gives the bois their soft edge? Yeah, exactly. Another common thing with softbois is that they turn quite emotionally messed up when they get rejected. What’s the best example of a softboi that you’ve been sent? Is there a female equivalent to a softboi?
Your Official Fuckboi Field Guide: How to Identify Them in the Wild Oh, the infamous fuckboi. We wish we could tell you that they’re easy to spot; that they all wear the same Adidas sandals or share a similar hairstyle. Unfortunately for us, the fuckboi is a master of camouflage. It knows how to blend into its surroundings, tricking us into thinking that it’s just a regular “nice” guy, when it’s actually a venomous creature who, before we know it, will end up sleeping with the next girl that walks by. Never fear, collegiettes! You know he’s fuckboi if… He has no respect for women The fuckboi is composed of white male privilege with just a sprinkle of misogyny. “This guy really wanted to date me,” says Amanda, a junior at Fairfield University. Ladies, if a man is ever judgmental and sexist, you turn the other way and run. His ego is enormous You’re probably familiar with the many Instagram mirror selfies of his abs. It’s pretty common for fuckbois to have an inflated image of just how amazing they are, which is why they end up taking advantage of people.
The Heartbreak Of Being In Love With Someone You Can Never Be With There is a different kind of love; a love that isn’t the happy kind, resulting in the joining of two people; the fusing of two lives into one; a love that gives you life. Contrary to popular belief, or fantasy embedded into us at an early age - sometimes love doesn’t conquer all. There is a love that a person will feel when he or she can never, and will never, be able to be with that certain someone. It's odd to think that something so beautiful can also be the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with. Some people aren’t ready to be happy or to be loved, and you meet them at the wrong time - at an unfortunate time. Some people run from love. Love can get too intense, too real – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in the world; the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass both good and evil; beautiful and ugly. This intensity may cause people to have poor judgment, like lies we told or things we said. The fact is, love is not enough.
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) | After Narcissistic Abuse Borrowed from: Definition: Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) – Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is a psychological injury that results from prolonged exposure to social or interpersonal trauma, disempowerment, captivity or entrapment, with lack or loss of a viable escape route for the victim. C-PTSD Introduction Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) is a condition that results from chronic or long-term exposure to emotional trauma over which a victim has little or no control and from which there is little or no hope of escape, such as in cases of: When people have been trapped in a situation over which they had little or no control at the beginning, middle or end, they can carry an intense sense of dread even after that situation is removed. The degree of C-PTSD trauma cannot be defined purely in terms of the trauma that a person has experienced. Difference between C-PTSD & PTSD C-PTSD Characteristics
6 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal There’s no class in high school on how to not be a shitty boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, they teach us the biology of sex, the legality of marriage, and maybe we read a few obscure love stories from the 19th century on how not to be. But when it comes down to actually handling the nitty-gritty of relationships, we’re given no pointers… or worse, we’re given advice columns in women’s magazines. Yes, it’s trial-and-error from the get-go. But part of the problem is that many unhealthy relationship habits are baked into our culture. A lot of the self-help literature out there isn’t helpful either (no, men and women are not from different planets, you over-generalizing prick). Fortunately, there’s been a lot of psychological research into healthy and happy relationships the past few decades and there are some general principles that keep popping up consistently that most people are unaware of or don’t follow. Got Relationship Problems? Well, I got solutions. 1. Wrong. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.
There is Something Better than Finding a Soulmate. They say that when we’re choosing a tennis partner it is best to find someone that plays better than us so that it will help to improve our game. Unfortunately, this kind of sucks for the better player if what they’re looking for is a challenge and the hope of improving their own game. Romantic love works pretty much the same way…sort of. Romantic love thrives best when both partners share a perception of equality between them and it struggles when we don’t. Perception of equality means something very different to equality in the traditional sense of the word. This type of equality is based on how both partners feel with and about each other. Different than “Soulmates”—a term which can have more of an esoteric, intangible, serendipitous quality to it—“Soul Equals” are on similar spiritual paths to each other. The two concepts often do merge, but not always. When the sh*t hits the fan, Soul Equals do not run, hide or blame—instead, they pause, reflect and talk. Relephant! Author: Debra Warshaw