im a lady...pt 1 251 170 107 126 124 140 91 212 194 376 209 267 176 318 198 143 200 105 438 144 214 63 78 177 74 131 171 75 173 100 150 96 71 202 100 160 195 146 90 100 85 67 251 125 99 94 112 76 75 146 50 73 60 212 210 61 96 167 149 100 96 99 199 76 125 90 203 99 139 56 142 98 215 95 85 35 35 339 210 126 111 228 76 134 86 89 461 95 74 42 72 66 53 86 86 52 80 48 Short but tricky management ability test The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a “manager.” The questions are not that difficult. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Wrong Answer : Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator. According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
Shakespeare Insult Kit Shakespeare Insult Kit Since 1996, the origin of this kit was listed as anonymous. It came to me on a piece of paper in the 90's with no attribution, and I thought it would make a cool web page. Though I searched for the origin, I could never find it. Combine one word from each of the three columns below, prefaced with "Thou": My additions: cullionly whoreson knave fusty malmsey-nosed blind-worm caluminous rampallian popinjay wimpled lily-livered scullian burly-boned scurvy-valiant jolt-head misbegotten brazen-faced malcontent odiferous unwash'd devil-monk poisonous bunch-back'd toad fishified leaden-footed rascal Wart-necked muddy-mettled Basket-Cockle pigeon-liver'd scale-sided Back to the insulter. Chris Seidel
Technology Laws Murphy's technology laws Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence. Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition. Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Homer Simpson Quotes D'oh! I hate Traffic. The band AND the phenomenon! Oh, why do my actions have consequences? I love going to aquatic parks. Thank goodness it's TGIF! Marge, I thought this was an inocuous lunch, but it's become terribly ocuous! When will I learn? Bingo! Ah, alcohol. What's the point of going out? Lisa, vampires are make believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos. Save me, Jeebus! Facts are meaningless - you could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true! I'm not impressed easily. Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. I don't hate your mother, I just won't be sad when she dies. How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Who are you? Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You/re making a scene'. I'm a 'Spalding Gray' in a 'Rick Dees' world. Donuts...is there anything they can't do? Trying is the first step toward failure. Because they're stupid, that's why. That's it! Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. English?
Sugar Bush Squirrel ERUDITE CONCEPTS If you're not familiar with the work of Boswell D. Rabbitsmith, he's the famous erudite scientist who once said: "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates." His mind sees things differently than most of us do, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems: (He also makes his living as a comedian by the name of Steve Wright....) 1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. 2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back. 3 - Half the people you know are below average. 4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. 9 - All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. 10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 12 - OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Water or Coke Water 1. We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before. 2. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half world population) 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. For Your Info: 1. 2. 3. Now the question is, would you like a glass of WATER or COKE ?