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"Never Date a Writer" by xstephens

"Never Date a Writer" by xstephens
Never date a writer because she’ll fictionalize everything. She’ll write about things you have done to her, or things you never did for her. She’ll write about how you never bought her flowers. Not once. She’ll say in well-constructed prose how the whole time you were together, she never came home from a long week to see a vase full of roses, or daises, or anything. She’ll describe times you embarrassed her, like at a party. She’ll continue this emphasis on what you had done to her, by describing things she had found, but said nothing about. She’ll later describe the moment in the bedroom when she sat at the foot of the bed and you kneeled in front of her. And she’ll send you a manuscript and you’ll be on the couch where you both had sat and you’ll read every word. You’ll sit alone on that couch where you made love to her and you won’t move and the glass of whiskey on the table will not be touched. Related:  short stories

The Second Time You Fall In Love With Someone The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. The second time will not be the first time.

The longest joke in the world. A man in the desert. So, there’s a man crawling through the desert. He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here. He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. He walks for the entire day. is really getting tempting now.

How My Six Year Old Boy Debunked Intelligent Design I was attempting to explain to my son, Brance, who just turned six two weeks ago, why it was better to refrain from saying “Oh God!” especially around his grandparents. He didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to them and asked if “God” was a bad word. This caught me off guard a bit. I had been spending so much time teaching him about evolution by natural selection that I forgot to tell him the lie he would be confronted with someday. I decided that it was time that he heard the creation story that I grew up with. I read on, “So, he put all the water in one place and all the dry land in another.” “Why do we have to save water then? After I finished reading about the third day he was beginning to catch on. “Well that’s what some people believe,” I stated, “but I don’t think so.” “He made South America!” When I told him about the creation of the sun on the fourth day he became serious again. “Then he made the stars to add a bit of sparkle to the night,” I read. “Not even us?”

White Rabbit Theories Whisper | Small Beer Press by Ray Vukcevich Sun 1 Jul 2001 - Filed under: Free Stuff to Read, Short Stories | 18 Comments And then she fired her parting shot. “I do not,” I said. Mistakes were made, relationships fell apart, and hurtful things were said. In the days that followed, I rearranged all the furniture. Her crack about me snoring wouldn’t leave me alone, probably because it poked something that had always worried me. The solution, once it hit me, seemed obvious. I set it up on the dresser across the room at the foot of the bed. The next day, there was no time to check the tape as I hurried through my morning ritual and left for work. I made myself a complicated drink and a plate of crackers with anchovies and cheese and sat down on the foot of my bed. There were the sounds of me changing positions and sighing as I tried to get to sleep. There were long periods of silence. I continued sampling a moment here and there and then moving on. “Ah ha,” I said. I was home free. Joanna had been jerking me around.

Paul Bloom: The Case Against Empathy In 2008, Karina Encarnacion, an eight year-old girl from Missouri, wrote to President-elect Barack Obama with some advice about what kind of dog he should get for his daughters. She also suggested that he enforce recycling and ban unnecessary wars. Obama wrote to thank her, and offered some advice of his own: “If you don’t already know what it means, I want you to look up the word ‘empathy’ in the dictionary. I believe we don’t have enough empathy in our world today, and it is up to your generation to change that.” This wasn’t the first time Obama had spoken up for empathy. The word “empathy”—a rendering of the German Einfühlung, “feeling into”—is only a century old, but people have been interested for a long time in the moral implications of feeling our way into the lives of others. In this sense, empathy is an instinctive mirroring of others’ experience—James Bond gets his testicles mashed in “Casino Royale,” and male moviegoers grimace and cross their legs.

One Sentence - True stories, told in one sentence. Rikki-tikki-tavi At the hole where he went in Red-Eye called to Wrinkle-Skin. Hear what little Red-Eye saith: ``Nag, come up and dance with death!'' Eye to eye and head to head, (Keep the measure, Nag.) This shall end when one is dead; (At thy pleasure, Nag.) Turn for turn and twist for twist- (Run and hide thee, Nag.) Hah! This is the story of the great war that Rikki-tikki-tavi fought single-handed, through the bath-rooms of the big bungalow in Segowlee cantonment. He was a mongoose, rather like a little cat in his fur and his tail, but quite like a weasel in his head and his habits. One day, a high summer flood washed him out of the burrow where he lived with his father and mother, and carried him, kicking and clucking, down a roadside ditch. ``No,'' said his mother; ``let's take him in and dry him. ``Now,'' said the big man (he was an Englishman who had just moved into the bungalow); ``don't frighten him, and we'll see what he'll do.'' ``Don't be frightened, Teddy,'' said his father. ``Ouch! ``H'sh!

From Agent Orange to Pesticides and Genetically Engineered Crops. Why Not to Trust Monsanto The Monsanto Corporation is among the largest pesticide and biotechnical corporations in the world today. Their products are used in most sectors of agriculture, public land upkeep, landscaping/gardening and can be found in most markets across the United States. Monsanto is a multi-billion dollar company with a diverse product base and is among the largest producers of genetically engineered crops. As a company, Monsanto promises to be the creator of new, safer, pesticides as well as stronger bio-engineered crops. © Josh Sager – June 2012 (Image Credit: Rasa13) Monsanto has produced many products, from new types of pesticide to genetically engineered crops, and has been the center of several severe controversies. During its early years, Monsanto produced PCBs (Polychlorinated biphenyl) to be used in various industrial applications. The Monsanto Corporation has a long and sometimes unfortunate history of creating new and powerful pesticides.