iPhone be naughty, say sleepyheads Best selling apps of 2010 were HaveYouWashedYourHands? and StopPullingAtYourTesticles! A software bug affected the rectangular nipple’s ability to effectively parent its charges, leaving them vulnerable to self-reliance for the first time since 2007. Many were found by family and friends rocking in a foetal position and asking when phone was going to wake-up. Martin Bishop, a 37 year-old Manchester United fan and Transformers enthusiast, said: “It’s just like the time I got evicted because it didn’t tell me to pay my mortgage. I’d call social services if I could get a signal.”
Book-A-Minute Classics Got another book report to do? English teachers have the inconsiderate habit of assigning mammoth-sized works of literature to read and then actually expecting you to do it. This wouldn't be so bad except that invariably the requisite reading is as boring as fly fishing in an empty lake. Half of those books don't even have discernible plots. And let's face it -- the Cliff's Notes are pretty time-consuming too. Worry no more.
Massanutten. Water slides, mini-golf and bears. From: David Thorne Date: Thursday 7 October 2010 11.04am To: firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Bears Dear Sir and/or Madam, I have received a request for seventy-five of my dollars for putting my trash out for collection without securing it inside a bear-proof container. Your Daily Life in GIFs When you get caught making fun of someone behind their back: When a hot girl walks by a group of guys: When your hair just won't do what you want: Oh, go on then, say universities In a victory for social justice a Cambridge degree now costs the same as one from Leeds Metropolitan After being given the task of setting how much money they would like to be given for reading through a 25 year-old set of notes to a half-full room of hungover teenagers, over two-thirds said they would like as much as was legally possible. Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute For Studies, said: “We now need to look more closely at the establishments that didn’t go for the nine grand. There may be simpletons afoot.
Popsicles! Not to sound full of myself, but I’m pretty sure this is the be all, end all of popsicle roundups. There’s a little something for everyone: the foodies, the purists, the ones who prefer frozen yogurt, the ones who prefer a little alcohol, everyone. Tweny-five options to be exact. The post I did last summer on the cold guys was one of DC’s most viewed ever, so I thought you’d all be up for another round – was I right? Click on the photo to be taken to the recipe. All photos and recipes copyright of their respective source unless otherwise noted.
Rich to piss money away on degrees for idiot spawn DAVID Cameron is offering a 'lovely turnip' to every non-land owning home to counter accusations of Tory elitism. THE QUEEN still does cryptic crosswords and has the active mind of a woman 20 years younger, it has been confirmed. Whilst on duty at *** tonight (Wed 19th Sept) on a 1400-2200 hrs between the hours of 1800-2000 I had to deal with a man on a bike claiming to be Wolverine from the X-Men. How to be a jerk. Sapiosexual (n) Nutella Lite and Dark Chocolate. Some stories stay with us forever. Scientific test #1876.5
E-readers 'a threat to impressive-looking bookshelves' 'Ah yes, my Dickens' E-readers like Kindle are rapidly replacing traditional books, but unlike a shelf full of intimidating hardbacks about poetry, string theory and Russian actors who committed suicide, they can never make you look more intelligent than you really are. Publisher Tom Logan said: “Compared to electronic devices, books have a physicality that is magical and timeless. Plus they can get you blow jobs. “You go to a coffee shop with a Kindle, intellectual girls don’t know whether you’re reading Foucault’s Pendulum or playing Tetris. “Tasteful books, especially big thick ones without pictures in, are vital indicators of your brainy sexiness.
20 Funny Video Timeline Charts So, it started on Canv.as with this first image, and then that second pic showed up, and then the remixes started pouring in. Click through to check out similar charts for topics such as Watching Twilight, Doing Homework and Playing Call of Duty. You may also like:
Spring is a Great Time for Sex One of the longest winters on record has drawn to a close. As the snow melts away and warm breezes begin blowing through the new season, the American people will begin the slow process of healing themselves from the psychological and spiritual ravages of the coldest and hardest months. In or-der for this heal-ing process to be carried out as quickly as pos-sible, The Onion appeals to the citizenry to do their duty by taking a good, long, deep breath; rolling up their sleeves; and getting to work on their fucking. For nearly half a year we have been cooped up inside, usually with the same few people, rebreathing the same stale air and wearing too many bulky clothes. The slow hands of despair have crushed our hearts in a deathgrip of windchill and the soul–killing reek of unwashed scarves.
The Best Street Art Works of 2011 (49 pics Dec 24/11 The Best Street Art Works of 2011 (49 pics) Let’s take a look at some of the best street art masterpieces of 2011. These photos include drawings, hand-made art, sculptures and other creative works.