Probably one of the best ventriloquist performances ever: Nina Conti. [VIDEO]

Oh, So That's What That Really Means (13 Pics) November 7, 2011 | 44 Comments » | Topics: LOL, Pics (via) Hot Stories From Around The Web Other Awesome Stories LOTS OF PUNS ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He goes back to the restaurant and the bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then says, "Well, OK, I guess you can come in -- just don't start anything." ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! ...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." ...A neutron walks into a bar. Back

Husband banned from Target Husband banned from Target After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from our local Target. Dear Mrs. Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store.. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. And last, but not least: 15. Hope this made you laugh as it did me. Meet singles at DateHookup.com, we're 100% free! Lots of Jokes - Anger Management When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know, but you know deserves it... I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.' I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?' Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing number!' I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, And put it in my desk drawer. It always cheered me up. So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.