Douglas Adams Quotes

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. I love deadlines. I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. In the beginning the Universe was created. In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear. Life... is like a grapefruit. Time is an illusion. You live and learn.

The 25 Funniest Analogies (Collected by High School English Teachers) « Writing English UPDATE: Tens of thousands of readers have found this post and hundreds of you have commented. A few have said that these analogies were actually taken from other sources and were not written by high school kids at all. Now, we have a link that ends the debate. These analogies are the winning entries in a 1999 Washington Post humor contest, and there are more than 25. Please look at the comments sent August 3, 2008 by “Jiffer” to get to the complete list and the names of the authors. ORIGINAL POST: I have to share these “funniest analogies” with you. The e-mail says they are taken from actual high school essays and collected by English teachers across the country for their own amusement. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. Like this: Like Loading...

111338 <JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book <JonJonB> Let's see the results... <JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry. <JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything <JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to. <JonJonB> "Yes, yes. <JonJonB> Harry took the wang. <JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. <JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils. <JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. <JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground.

My World and Welcome... Funny Pages: Handy Latin Phrases Non calor sed umor est qui nobis incommodat. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. Di! Ecce hora! Uxor mea me necabit! God, look at the time! Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Lex clavatoris designati rescindenda est. Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris. Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? (At a barbeque) Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? Sona si Latine loqueris. Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes If you can read this you're over-educated Vidi Vici Veni I saw, I conquered, I came Vacca foeda Stupid cow Mihi ignosce. Raptus regaliter Royally screwed Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! Gramen artificiosum odi. Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. Nullo metro compositum est. Non curo. Fac ut gaudeam. Visne saltare? O!

Grandma's Kisses (transcript) - The SpongeBob SquarePants Wiki Transcript [SpongeBob is standing on a hill looking at his grandma's house]SpongeBob: There it is. Grandma's house!