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TOP 100 funniest one-liners, quotes and jokes on the internet! Part 2

TOP 100 funniest one-liners, quotes and jokes on the internet! Part 2
Related:  Inspiring/Facts/Trivia

25 Beautifully Illustrated Thought-Provoking Questions A question that makes you think is worth asking… At the cusp of a new day, week, month, or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future. We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story. This process of self reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go. It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our dreams, goals and desires. If you would like to maximize the benefits of self reflection, our new sister site, Thought Questions, is for you. Remember, these questions have no right or wrong answers. Here’s a sample of 25 recent thought questions posted on the site: Thought Questions is updated daily. Title photo by: Oberazzi For all other photo credits please refer to Related 6 Questions that Will Save Your Relationships May 21, 2014 In "Life" 20 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Sunday

Time wasters: 15 addictive, fun and frustrating Flash games Flash is one of the most common platform to create an internet game. These games can be really fun to do (lot's more fun than plain old bingo) and are great to get some distraction from the regular things. Here a small list with real time wasters: 15 addictive (but fun) Flash games. Don't get to addicted to these games, otherwise you'll get fired when playing at work! Boxhead: The Zombie Wars Jon Bambo is the star of this game and he is alone. Indestruct2Tank Ready for some more Indestructo-Fun? The Last Stand 2 Make your way to Union City to escape the mainland within 40 days and nights while fighting off the hordes from your make shift barricades once again. Portal: The Flash Version Portal: The Flash Version includes over 40 challenging, portals thinking levels, and everything's included, in 2d - energy balls, cubes, turrets and even the famous crusher from the trailer. Bubble Tanks 2 The sequel to our most popular game is finally here! Winterbells Grow Cube Fancy Pants Adventures: World 2

Mitch Hedberg Jokes Jokes cleaned up for this website. I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semicircle. I tried to have a cookie, and this girl said, "I'm mailing those cookies to my friend." I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage. Has anyone seen me on Letterman? It's hard to fight when you're in a gazebo. I don't like grouper fish. I have some speakers up here, thank God, because last night I didn't have them and I was telling jokes and I had no idea which joke I was telling. I've got a wallet, it's orange. I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? I called the hotel operator and she said, "How can I direct your call?" A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. Cavities are made by sugar. I like cottage cheese. I'm an ice sculptor. That would be cool if the earth's crust was made out of graham cracker.

Open Thread Open Thread Posted by Van Helsing at August 13, 2009 7:35 AM They DARED to draw one of The Won's kids! They may as well draw Mohammed!!! Posted by: How DARE they?!? That was great satire. Posted by: Judith M. at August 13, 2009 8:11 AM Soylent Green, its whats for lunch. Posted by: Anonymous at August 13, 2009 8:21 AM That was a great cartoon! Another topic: As soon as that cap and tr8or, McHugh gets the nod for the SecArmy job, we'll have a special election to replace him. Posted by: Karin at August 13, 2009 8:27 AM Thanks, but i like my mystery meat just the way it is. Posted by: Tex-Mex at August 13, 2009 8:30 AM They forgot to add that certain kids may not qualify for good enough portions of the lunch due to age, weight, gender, etc. Another analogy: when there are 100 deer in a field, but only enough food for 50, 50 deer don't starve, all 100 do. Posted by: Seamus at August 13, 2009 8:44 AM Posted by: BH at August 13, 2009 8:51 AM duh. couldn't see that coming! but hey, who cares anyway?

Also sprach der Prozessor Also sprach der Prozessor ------------------------- Stromversorgung : He Leute! Aufwachen, der Alte will was von euch! Text aus dem TextArchiv 7 - Free video chat and video messaging Scalable platform From start-up to established enterprise, our platform scales to meet your needs. Advanced features Our industry-leading suite of features is second to none. Simple implementation Our comprehensive API makes it easy to deliver world-class communication experiences powered by WebRTC. New to OpenTok:Archiving & Playback. Archiving & Playback makes it easy to record, save, and retrieve OpenTok sessions. Now launched as a private beta, Archiving & Playback allows developers to record real-time communication during OpenTok sessions. Features include: Server-side recording of all streams Live compositing Single downloadable result file (MP4) REST API Our beta period allows partners to evaluate the Archiving & Playback solution and influence its feature set. Beyond text chat. Our messaging stack allows users to distribute data between all endpoints. Intelligent Quality Control Intelligent Quality Control (IQC) ensures a smooth and consistent experience for all users. Beyond text chat

If World War I Was a Bar Fight | 10 Times One Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint. Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg. Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view. Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit. Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers. Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at. Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in doing so. Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that its sufficiently out of order that Britain not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it? Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium. The End….

LOL Funny Pictures Daily - Lollercoaster - Part 16 Extreme Daily LOL Pics Hello, there. Im a dog. And you are? Comment Next lesson: litterbox Comment And it was THIS big! Comment Homo Sapiens Comment I want to be this happy! Comment Ouchhh Comment Dogs dont even know how to read! Comment Copyright 2010 Lollercoaster.

Skippy's List & Skippy's List: The 213 things Skippy is no... A quick note: I don’t mind if you want to quote a few items from my list of your site. But please do not copy the list in it’s entirety. Explanations of these events: a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.) b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.) c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.) d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. The 213 Things…. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. 51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56. 57. 58. 59. 60. 61. 62. 63. 64. 65. 66. 67. 68. 69. 70. 71. 72. 73. 74. 75. 76. 77. 78. 79. 80. 81. 82. 83. 84. 85. 86. 87. 88. 89. 90. 91. 92.

Du bist wirklich ein Informatiker, wenn du... Weitere Texte im TextArchiv 7 How Much is Inside Planters Mixed Nuts? The more we searched, the more scandal we uncovered. I ordered a FORBIDDEN CD OF INFORMATION from ebay and dug up all kinds of juicy stuff. Like, for instance, the peanut isn't a nut, it is a legume! Mr. Peanut had quite a history himself. His low point seemed to be the summer of 1994, when the baseball strike put the peanut and Crackerjack industries into a tailspin. I wasn't sure I could crack a tough nut like Mr.