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Discovering the gifted ex-child

Discovering the gifted ex-child
Discovering the Gifted Ex-Child Abstract Most of the attention given to the gifted over the years has been devoted to gifted children, a population identified by unusual mental processing that sets them apart from the norms. Gifted adults, however, are recognized in our society solely by their achievements. The innate qualities of mind that are found in gifted children do not disappear as the children grow up. The unusual developmental trajectory of the gifted creates an extraordinary experience of life for the individual at any age, whether or not that individual is able to achieve in ways society recognizes and values. The achievement orientation that has always existed for adults and is now taking over the field of gifted education, makes it difficult for the gifted to understand the qualities of mind that make them different. Stephanie Tolan (Stephanie Tolan is a consultant, writer, and a Contributing Editor of the Roeper Review.) Who am I? Where Have the Gifted Children Gone? Related:  GT T H E R A P YKids

How to Charm Gifted Adults into Admitting Giftedness: Their Own and Somebody Else’s The Loneliness of Being Misinformed about Giftedness In my current experience and view, the biggest “social issue of the gifted” is the painful misfit between implicit beliefs about giftedness by the non-gifted and the gifted alike and the actual or perceived reality of very many gifted adults. That misfit leads to utter loneliness: It impedes the sharing of one’s deep feelings and experiences related to giftedness with others because of the belief that these have nothing to do with being gifted. It also leads to avoiding calling oneself gifted – even if the direct question is asked – because of strong inner convictions about not qualifying for that seemingly outstanding state of being. I feel this is strongly connected to the dominant belief that for adults their giftedness is defined by actual eminent achievement, with the tacit assumption that only something like a Nobel Prize will be sufficient proof of eminence. In the summary of his article Mahoney states: Xi and Giftedness Compared

Emotion Coaching: One of the Most Important Parenting Practices in the History of the Universe According to John Gottman, one of my all-time favorite researchers, emotion-coaching is the key to raising happy, resilient, and well-adjusted kids. His research—30 years of it—shows that it is not enough to be a warm, engaged, and loving parent. We also need to emotion coach our kids. Emotion-coached kids tend to experience fewer negative feelings and more positive feelings. The three steps below are adapted from Gottman's book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, which I can't recommend highly enough. This first step to coping with negative emotions (in yourself, your children, or in your mother-in-law) is to figure out what they are feeling and to accept those feelings. Step One: Label and Validate the Feelings-at-Hand Before we can accurately label and then validate our children's feelings, we need to empathize with them—first to understand what it is they are feeling, and then to communicate what we understand to them. That's all there is to it! © 2009 Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Creativity across the life-span: A systems view Csikszentmihalyi, M. Talent Development III, pp. 9-18 Gifted Psychology Press 1995 This article by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi looks at three major issues related to creativity over a lifespan. They are: what can be learned about creativity; a model of optimal aging; and how to work with creative children. The author based this work on six years of interviews with scores of older adults who are still actively creative. I am going to talk about a set of studies on creativity which focuses on adults and which will result in a book scheduled to appear next year (Csikszentmihalyi, 1996). Most of you are interested in creativity in children, and of course that makes sense, because that's where the long process of creative development begins. In this paper, I want to bring up three major issues, which are among the topics of our study. The third issue is to use what we have learned about creativity in later life as a model for how to deal with creative children.

Defusing Power Struggles: It's Not About Getting the Last Word Mrs. Nelson is teaching a lesson when she notices Mason's head on his desk with distracting noises coming from him. She cruises his way while still teaching, leans in as she nears him and quietly reminds him to sit up and stop making noises. As she walks away and resumes teaching, Mason mumbles an inappropriate epithet that contains denial of the deed and offensive language. Other students sitting nearby turn their attention away from the lesson, collectively showing a look along with a few "oohs" that unmistakably challenges their teacher with the question, "What are you going to do about it?" Mrs. Many power struggles start over issues of consequences, fairness, embarrassment and being told what to do. The Most Effective Word When my daughter was a teenager, her last word during a disagreement was often a snooty "whatever." The wisdom is for educators to be satisfied with "the most effective word," and this almost always comes next-to-last. Great Expectations

Paternal Influence on Gifted Males Hammond, D.R., Hébert, T.P., & Pagnani, A.R. Journal for the Education of the Gifted Prufrock Press Vol. 33, No. 2, pp. 241–274 2009 This study examines the father-son relationships of 10 prominent gifted men of achievement to identify factors influencing talent development. Through biographical analysis, 6 significant themes were identified: unconditional belief in son, strong work ethic, encouragement and guidance, maintaining high expectations and fostering determination, pride in son’s accomplishments, and mutual admiration and respect. “My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived and let me watch him do it.” It is a challenging time to be a boy in this country. While concerns about boys are becoming part of the national conversation, a parallel phenomenon is evolving. Although the dialogue regarding the problems facing boys and the role their fathers should play in their lives continues, little attention is being drawn to issues specifically facing gifted young men. Findings

Father Daughter Relationships - Life Lessons at WomansDay While equally important to a son, there’s no doubt that a dad plays a unique role in his daughter's life. Not only does he give her a sense of safety and stability, but he can also guide her through important life challenges just by being a loving male role model. “So much of what a father teaches his children is not necessarily done by sitting down and talking to them, but by behaving the way he wants his children to behave,” says Matthew Weinshenker, PhD, assistant professor of sociology at Fordham University. Read on to learn what principles a man should teach his daughter to show her that Dad really does know best. 1. To dispel the stereotype that women should avoid confrontation at all costs, it’s important for young girls to accept their "anger and assertiveness," says Linda Nielsen, EdD, educational and adolescent psychologist at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and author of Between Fathers and Daughters. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Intellectual Giftedness Intellectual giftedness, often referred to as high IQ, is usually given short shrift when it comes to considerations of the special needs of exceptional people. Because giftedness appears on the surface to be nothing but an advantage, the challenges it presents are often ignored and unknown. Giftedness is not about being better, it's about being *different*. I'm of the opinion that, despite our desire for simple quantification of intelligence, noting characteristics of giftedness is perhaps a more useful, or at least complementary, method of detecting the intelligent. Energy Curiousity Speed Concentration Sensitivity, empathy, insight and intuition Sophistication of thinking, highly developed moral sense Nonconformist/Independent Persistence Humour Uses up jobs Almost all those characteristics, while pretty general, are present in every really smart person I know.

Communication A major part of discipline is learning how to talk with children. The way you talk to your child teaches him how to talk to others. Here are some talking tips we have learned with our children: 1. Before giving your child directions, squat to your child’s eye level and engage your child in eye-to-eye contact to get his attention. 2. Open your request with the child’s name, “Lauren, will you please…” 3. We use the one-sentence rule: Put the main directive in the opening sentence. 4. Use short sentences with one-syllable words. 5. If he can’t, it’s too long or too complicated. 6. You can reason with a two or three-year-old, especially to avoid power struggles. 7. Instead of “no running,” try: “Inside we walk, outside you may run.” 8. Instead of “Get down,” say “I want you to get down.” 9. “When you get your teeth brushed, then we’ll begin the story.” 10. Instead of hollering, “Turn off the TV, it’s time for dinner!” 11. “Do you want to put your pajamas on or brush your teeth first?” 12. 13.

The Profoundly Gifted Adult By Inderbir Kaur Sandhu, Ph.D Q: Years after raising three gifted children, I am still puzzling over our middle kid, who is distinct from his sibs and many of his peers. He has been diagnosed at different times with OCD and anxiety disorder, and others have raised the question as to whether or note he has Asperger's syndrome. I do not believe that the latter is the case and that his characteristics are the result of his rather unique mind. He was tested at age 5 only because he was quite different. His IQ test at age five resulted in an IQ of 150. That said, he cannot lead a conventional life and still pursues his interests irregardless of their practicality. My other children have professions and we all just let "Eric be Eric," but he is barely getting by financially at age 38. He's a lovely person, but he needs some informed guidance to be able to convert his talents into what I call "professionalizing" himself. Any thoughts or recommendations?

Fighting Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter. It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts tantrumming again. Twelve year old girls can be moody, over-dramatizing, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents. They can, of course, also be mature, affectionate and delightful, but at their worst they’re a cross between the most challenging aspects of toddlers and teens. The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you, because she's working hard to feel "grown up" and independent. Tips to make parenting your tween girl less drama, and more delight: 1) Be willing to change. 2) Focus on the relationship, not on discipline.

The intellectual and psychosocial nature of extreme giftedness Powell, P. & Haden, T. Roeper Review Volume 6, No. 3, pp. 131--133 February 1984 This article by Philip Powell and Tony Haden compares the differences of average, moderately and extremely gifted individuals. The authors explore the psychological difficulties of the highly gifted, especially in terms of self-esteem and self-conception. The article discusses the difficulties the extremely gifted have in obtaining consistent, accurate and valid feedback in regard to their self-concept. The information provided has implications for educators, parents, and psychologists. The highly gifted create structure, generate ideas, and efficiently process information in ways that are qualitatively superior to moderately gifted and average ability individuals. The highly gifted are rare in the population. General intelligence Desire to know Originality Common sense Torrance (1965) has argued that the gifted are independent thinkers. Another important difference is in the desire to know complex ideas.

50 Rules for Dads of Daughters {by Michael Mitchell} I was in tears as I read through this list, as I’m sure many grown daughters will be. Mothers – bookmark this list of rules and encourage your daughter’s daddy to read them, memorize them, and put them in to action. And, to all you Dads out there – be sure you pay close attention and heed these wise words. About Michael Michael Mitchell is an (almost) thirty-something dad who blogs daily tips and life lessons for dads of daughters at lifetoheryears.com. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. Photo Credit :: Danielle Rocke Toews 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35. 36. 37. 38. 39. 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. 47. 48. 49. 50. Photo Credits can be found at the bottom of Michael’s original post. **9/15/11**This post has resonated so well with daughters and fathers, mothers and grandfathers, and has received many beautiful and heartfelt comments.

Right Brain Smarts: Creative People’s Brains Function Differently A new study has ended the controversy (or perhaps just stirred up more) by demonstrating that creative people do think in a fundamentally different way than everyone else. The study showed that non-creative types versus creative types do indeed exhibit quite different patterns of brain activity while going about solving problems, and even just while daydreaming. Scientists have wondered for some time if people who think “creatively” are able to somehow think differently from those who seem to think in a more methodical fashion. However, many researchers have argued that what we call “creative thought” and “noncreative thought” are really not two different things. If that were true, then people who are thought of as “creative” would not actually think in a fundamentally different way from those who are thought of as uncreative. However, other researchers have argued that creative thought is fundamentally different than other forms of thought. Posted by Rebecca Sato. Related posts:

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