Carolyn Hax Live (Thursday, January 16) Carolyn Hax : Hi everybody, or, if I didn't publicize the date switch well enough, hi crickets. Responding to gender disappointment I missed the chat last week, but this really rubbed me the wrong way: at this point, the disappointed spouse is upset over genitals. He could very well have the baby with the SEX he wanted, just to find that said child may grow up identifying as transgender or a non-binary gender. Carolyn Hax : Thanks for the note. Now, I'm long on the record as seeing biological parenthood as an ultimately self-serving act, with an instant, delightfully ironic obligation to be selfless about it the moment sperm meets egg. – January 16, 2014 12:07 PM Two links Hi! Jess the Producer : No worries. – January 16, 2014 12:12 PM "Madly in love" My boyfriend of nine months tells me that he adores spending time with me; that he feels so peaceful, relaxed, and happy when I'm around; that he's amazed by how well we get along, how great our sex life is, etc. – January 16, 2014 12:14 PM True.
Affirmations for Introverts I'm all about self-affirmations this week. I covered affirmations for pessimists on another blog, now I'm thinking about affirmations for introverts . Self-affirmations, when spoken aloud, can sound kind of silly. OK, sometimes they sound a little silly even when you say them silently to yourself. But if we can permit ourselves a Stuart Smalley moment now and then, affirmations can come in handy to remind us of things we might already know but forget in moments of insecurity. I particularly like and often use the old standby "Different strokes for different folks." A few others, for various circumstances: Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I have nothing to say. What works for you? Thanks for visiting! My book, The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World , is out and about, available for Kindle, Nook, and in the good ol' dead tree version.
Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert People don’t outgrow introversion, so the introverted adult was once an introverted child. What is true of one is true of both. Contrary to popular opinion, introverts are not asocial, nor are they friendless loners who lack social skills. They simply have different social needs and preferences. Friendships Sebastian Pfuetze/Taxi/Getty Images It is not easy for introverts to make new friends because getting to know someone takes so much energy. Social Preferences Introverts need a lot of personal space. Preferred Activities Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. Social Behavior Introverts tend to be quiet and subdued. Social Interaction While introverts may appear to lack social skills or be antisocial, neither is true. Verbal Expression If given a choice, introverts would rather express their ideas in writing than in speech. Emotions and Emotional Responses Introverts become emotionally drained after spending time with others, particularly strangers.
Relationships: The power of the introvert "Did you go out today?" asks my boyfriend after a long day at the office. It suddenly occurs to me that I am still in my pyjamas, working on my laptop and curled up in the same spot as when he left. He's just curious, he says, but I hear only criticism. "No; why?" Carl Jung coined the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" in 1913, just as Western society was moving from what could be called a culture of moral character ("Are you a jerk?") They're happy, outgoing and confident; we're guarded, private loners. "People often think of introversion as synonymous with being anti-social or asocial," says Susan Cain, proud introvert and author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. For the record, I have friends, I like to party when the mood's right and I can rock an extrovert costume like nobody's business. "Think of yourself as a battery," says Cain. Learn what the world is like for introverts on the next page...
The Introverted Paradox The Introverted Paradox by I/O Myers-Briggs and Socionics are both right; the former identifies what we see in the personality of others while the latter identifies more what people see sometimes in themselves. Socionics classifies the true order of dominant functions while Myers-Briggs classifies the order of dominant observed functions. . Secondary functions are forced to a dominant role when actively dealing with the external world; an introverted psyche learns this need very early in life, and the engagement of secondary functions becomes automatic. , this switch is unnecessary because the needed functions are already engaged. When isolated in their own world, the dominant introverted functions can take their rightful position. is operating as an IXXp, and IXXp and EXXj can attract. Myers-Briggs should take a page from Socionics about relationship determination, but Socionics needs to learn from Myers-Briggs as to how people appear in public and deal with the external world.
How To Be A Happy Introvert Being an introvert isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If it prevents you from doing what you really want to do, or hinders your working and personal lives, then something should change. However, introverts should be happy being so. Author on Introverts, Nancy R. 1. Personally, I think some kind of middle-ground is ideal. We’ve previously written these on the topic: Top 10 Advantages of Introvert How To Network: For Introverts Convert yourself from Introvert to Extrovert? The Courage of a Quiet Teen Brittany Wood, founder of "The Shyness Project" This is a guest post from Brittany Wood, the courageous author of “The Shyness Project” blog. They called me “the shy one.” That’s it, nothing more. For the last 19 years of my life, I’ve heard that I’m shy from peers, teachers, parents – even strangers. What they said made me believe I was a shy person, and that that was my biggest downfall. In 6th grade, I was bullied. After middle school, I gradually became a much more self-assured person. Near the end of the first semester of my senior year of high school, I started thinking seriously about my future. But what was holding me back? Shyness. But New Year’s was approaching, and I began to feel excited by the prospects of change and self-improvement. This year was different. Shyness. Excited yet uncertain, I started brainstorming how I could turn this into a one-year project. Then I started a blog to reach people and share my journey. 618share
The 16 Type Patterns *Adapted from Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi, Understanding Yourself and Others: An Introduction to the Personality Type Code (Used with permission) There are 16 Personality Types. Each "Type" represents a unique predictable pattern of how the eight processes (functions) are used in everyday life. The Roles of the Processes In each of the sixteen types, each of the eight processes plays a different "role" in the personality. The type code lets you know what role each process plays for each type. It is also referred to as the "hierarchy of functions": Dominant, Auxiliary, Tertiary, and Inferior. The roles are explained below to help you better understand the patterns. In truth, we have access to all eight cognitive processesâ€”the other six are often in the background, playing other kinds of roles. The Primary Processes The primary processes are those used in the first four roles. Each process tends to emerge and develop at different times in our lives. The Leading Role (Dominant) The Pattern
Happy Introverts | relax, be at peace, escape or rant 10 Myths About Introverts | CarlKingdom.com :: Home of Carl King 10 Myths About Introverts By Carl King [ Translations: Spanish | German | Dutch | Italian ] I wrote this list in late-2008. , by Marti Laney, Psy.D. Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! A section of Laney’s book (page 71 through page 75) maps out the human brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are Introverts. So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken directly from the book, but based on my own life experience): Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people. Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone. Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun. Let me know your thoughts. -Carl.
Revenge of the Introvert After ten years as a psychologist practicing psychodynamic psychotherapy , I reclined on the couch of my own analyst feeling burdened by my chosen work. After a day of seeing patients, I was drained. I had been trained to listen at many levels—words, emotions, unconscious disclosures—and I took all of that in and sorted it out in my mind. I was good at helping others discover and pursue what they wanted out of life. But at day's end I had no resources left to do it for myself. Then I heard myself say: "I don't like being a therapist." Suddenly I felt free, loosed from expectations that never fit. As a card-carrying introvert , I am one of the many people whose personality confers on them a preference for the inner world of their own mind rather than the outer world of sociability. Over the past two decades, scientists have whittled down to five those clusters of cognitions, emotions, motivations, and behaviors that we mean by "personality" factors. Introversion in Action
Quiet, Please: Unleashing 'The Power Of Introverts' Introverts, who prefer quieter, lower-stimulation environments, have trouble thriving in today's extrovert-oriented culture, says author Susan Cain. iStockphoto.com hide caption toggle caption iStockphoto.com From Gandhi to Joe DiMaggio to Mother Teresa to Bill Gates, introverts have done a lot of good work in the world. But being quiet, introverted or shy was sometimes looked at as a problem to overcome. In the 1940s and '50s the message to most Americans was: Don't be shy. Susan Cain — who considers herself an introvert — has written a new book that tells the story of how introversion fell out of style. Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain Interview Highlights On the difference between introversion and shyness "Introversion is really about having a preference for lower stimulation environments. "Many people believe that introversion is about being antisocial, and that's really a misperception. On how today's workplaces are designed for extroverts