Caring for Your Introvert The habits and needs of a little-understood group From Atlantic Unbound: Interviews: "Introverts of the World, Unite!" (February 14, 2006) A conversation with Jonathan Rauch, the author who—thanks to an astonishingly popular essay in the March 2003 Atlantic—may have unwittingly touched off an Introverts' Rights revolution. Follow-up: The Introversy Continues Jonathan Rauch comments on reader feedback about introvert dating—and poses a new question Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. I know. Oh, for years I denied it. What is introversion? Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. How many people are introverts? Are introverts misunderstood? Are introverts oppressed? Extroverts therefore dominate public life. Are introverts arrogant?
Shyness: The New Solution At the core of our existence as human beings lies a powerful drive to be with other people. There is much evidence that in the absence of human contact people fall apart physically and mentally; they experience more sickness, stress and suicide than well-connected individuals. For all too many people, however, shyness is the primary barrier to that basic need. For more than two decades, I have been studying shyness. The thousands of responses we received have spawned a whole new generation of research and insight. The New View "My ex-wife picked me to marry her, so getting married wasn't a problem. Traditionally, shyness is viewed as an intrapersonal problem, arising within certain individuals as a result of characteristics such as excessive self-consciousness, low self-esteem and anticipation of rejection. In addition, our research has led us to conclude that there is nothing at all wrong with being shy. The Cynically Shy "My shyness has caused major problems in my personal/social life.
Introverts -- Portrait of an Introvert People don’t outgrow introversion, so the introverted adult was once an introverted child. What is true of one is true of both. Contrary to popular opinion, introverts are not asocial, nor are they friendless loners who lack social skills. They simply have different social needs and preferences. Friendships Sebastian Pfuetze/Taxi/Getty Images It is not easy for introverts to make new friends because getting to know someone takes so much energy. Social Preferences Introverts need a lot of personal space. Preferred Activities Introverts enjoy activities they can do alone or with just a few others. Social Behavior Introverts tend to be quiet and subdued. Social Interaction While introverts may appear to lack social skills or be antisocial, neither is true. Verbal Expression If given a choice, introverts would rather express their ideas in writing than in speech. Emotions and Emotional Responses Introverts become emotionally drained after spending time with others, particularly strangers.
The six biggest mistakes of managing an introvert 20 Ways to Overcome Shyness Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding you back? Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, we can all relate to that feeling of shyness at some point in our lives. This article is the result of collaboration between Amanda Linehan, an introvert, and Tina Su, an extravert. The Three Components of Shyness According to Dr. Can you relate? Why Do We Experience Shyness? We all experience shyness differently and on varying degrees. 1. This is especially true to our experiences in high school. 2. Amanda: Coupled with a weak self image,I didn’t thinkIwas doing anything right! 3. Photo by Lauren 1.
How To Be A Happy Introvert Being an introvert isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If it prevents you from doing what you really want to do, or hinders your working and personal lives, then something should change. However, introverts should be happy being so. Author on Introverts, Nancy R. 1. Personally, I think some kind of middle-ground is ideal. We’ve previously written these on the topic: Top 10 Advantages of Introvert How To Network: For Introverts Convert yourself from Introvert to Extrovert? Giving introverts permission to be themselves Edgar, a sparkly New York socialite, was known for the engrossing tales he’d spin for guests at fundraisers he seemed to host nightly. In reality, the man would spend much of the day ahead of each party jotting down anecdotes on index cards, a nervous habit he’d developed in college. Edgar the social maven was actually a closet introvert: “I’d much rather sit and read and think about things than talk to people,” he told Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Studies suggest one out of every two or three people are introverts, but just like animals that carry shelter everywhere they go, many of us are “pseudo-extroverts” – introverts faking it through the social crush of modern life. But it wasn’t always this way. The former corporate lawyer – and introvert – spoke with The Globe and Mail from New York City. Carl Jung said there are no pure introverts or extroverts – those people would be psychopaths. So introverts aren’t necessarily shy?
Happy Introverts | relax, be at peace, escape or rant Relationships: The power of the introvert "Did you go out today?" asks my boyfriend after a long day at the office. It suddenly occurs to me that I am still in my pyjamas, working on my laptop and curled up in the same spot as when he left. He's just curious, he says, but I hear only criticism. "No; why?" Carl Jung coined the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" in 1913, just as Western society was moving from what could be called a culture of moral character ("Are you a jerk?") They're happy, outgoing and confident; we're guarded, private loners. "People often think of introversion as synonymous with being anti-social or asocial," says Susan Cain, proud introvert and author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. For the record, I have friends, I like to party when the mood's right and I can rock an extrovert costume like nobody's business. "Think of yourself as a battery," says Cain. Learn what the world is like for introverts on the next page...
Quiet, Please: Unleashing 'The Power Of Introverts' Introverts, who prefer quieter, lower-stimulation environments, have trouble thriving in today's extrovert-oriented culture, says author Susan Cain. iStockphoto.com hide caption toggle caption iStockphoto.com From Gandhi to Joe DiMaggio to Mother Teresa to Bill Gates, introverts have done a lot of good work in the world. But being quiet, introverted or shy was sometimes looked at as a problem to overcome. In the 1940s and '50s the message to most Americans was: Don't be shy. Susan Cain — who considers herself an introvert — has written a new book that tells the story of how introversion fell out of style. Quiet The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain Interview Highlights On the difference between introversion and shyness "Introversion is really about having a preference for lower stimulation environments. "Many people believe that introversion is about being antisocial, and that's really a misperception. On how today's workplaces are designed for extroverts
23 Signs You're Secretly An Introvert Think you can spot an introvert in a crowd? Think again. Although the stereotypical introvert may be the one at the party who’s hanging out alone by the food table fiddling with an iPhone, the “social butterfly” can just as easily have an introverted personality. “Spotting the introvert can be harder than finding Waldo,” Sophia Dembling, author of “The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World,” tells The Huffington Post. People are frequently unaware that they’re introverts -– especially if they’re not shy — because they may not realize that being an introvert is about more than just cultivating time alone. “Introversion is a basic temperament, so the social aspect — which is what people focus on — is really a small part of being an introvert,” Dr. Despite the growing conversation around introversion, it remains a frequently misunderstood personality trait. But more and more introverts are speaking out about what it really means to be a “quiet” type. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
Are You an Introverted Boss? - Douglas R. Conant by Douglas R. Conant | 10:19 AM April 4, 2011 Every time I’ve taken a Meyers-Briggs test, I score high on the introversion scale. As an introvert, I enjoy being by myself. I sometimes feel drained if I have to be in front of large groups of people I don’t know. After I’ve been in a social situation — including a long day at work — I need quiet time to be alone with my thoughts and recharge. So how do I manage this? Introverts need thinking time. Introverts aren’t as aloof as they appear. One of the best ways I’ve found to help people overcome their discomfort around my behavior is to simply declare myself. I’ve also found that doing this helps people become much more comfortable about declaring themselves to me. Introverts benefit from familiar touchstones. In the end, we introverts never really change our stripes, though we too often put ourselves through painful contortions in attempting to adapt to other people’s styles. Douglas R.