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The saddest thing I've ever heard on an airplane

The saddest thing I've ever heard on an airplane
All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. Please don't steal. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP All artwork and content on this site is Copyright © 2015 Matthew Inman. TheOatmeal.com was lovingly built using CakePHP

My collection of funny emails from my inbox. Subject: 5 MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. "Great!" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Lesson 2: A priest offered a Nun a lift. The priest removed his hand. Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. Lesson 3: "Me first! "Me next! Lesson 4: Lesson 5: Lesson 6:

What to Eat Before and After Exercising How often do you think about exactly what you’re going to eat before you exercise? How about what you’re going to eat when you’re done exercising? And no, I’m not talking about that big bowl of ice cream or tasty martini that you’re trying to earn while you’re slaving away on the treadmill. Sponsor: Total Gym is a trusted leader and innovator in home fitness machines for over 35 years. What to Eat Before and After Exercising If you don’t have a nutrition plan for your fitness routine, you’re doing yourself a pretty big disservice when it comes to getting the results that you desire. In this article, you’re going to learn about ideal pre-workout, during workout, and post-workout nutrition, with a quick and dirty tip for optimizing each of these components of fitness fueling. What Should You Eat Before Exercising? Just before you exercise, the last thing you want to do is put a bunch of proteins and fats into your body, even if they’re healthy proteins and fats. Good Pre-Exercise Snacks

If Everyone Knew | Now with five more facts that everyone should know. - StumbleUpon 14 Stories That Prove Animals Have Souls Teen Girl Shoots Beautiful and Creative Portraits of Her Pet Dogs If you’re a dog lover, you’ve got to check out the photography of 17-year-old photographer Jessica Trinh. Her two main photo subjects are her two dogs: a Golden Retriever named Chuppy and an Australian Shepherd named Daisy. Over the past few years, Trinh has captured hundreds of beautiful and creative portraits of her furry happy-go-lucky friends, aided by her keen eye for spotting gorgeous lighting and happy expressions. We dare you not to smile as you look through the images in this post. Trinh writes, Ever since I set my hands on a camera, I knew I had unlocked a new dimension. For more of these photographs, head on over to Trinh’s Flickr photostream. Update: Trinh has informed us that the 8th photo in this set, the one with the butterfly, is actually a digital composite. Image credits: Photographs by Jessica Trinh and used with permission

National Geographic Photo Contest 2011 - In Focus National Geographic is currently holding its annual photo contest, with the deadline for submissions coming up on November 30. For the past nine weeks, the society has been gathering and presenting galleries of submissions, encouraging readers to vote for them as well. National Geographic was kind enough to let me choose among its entries from 2011 for display here on In Focus. Gathered below are 45 images from the three categories of People, Places, and Nature, with captions written by the individual photographers. [45 photos] Use j/k keys or ←/→ to navigate Choose: Many people pilgrimage to Uluru, but what is seen there often depends on where you've come from. Eruption of the Cordon del Caulle. Beluga whales in the arctic having fun. This is a streetcar in New Orleans traveling back towards The Quarter on St. This image captures almost 6 hours of climbing parties on Rainier going for the summit under starry skies. Russia, polar region of West Siberia, Tazovsky Peninsula.

Photos of Children From Around the World With Their Most Prized Possessions Chiwa – Mchinji, Malawi Shot over a period of 18 months, Italian photographer Gabriele Galimberti‘s project Toy Stories compiles photos of children from around the world with their prized possesions—their toys. Galimberti explores the universality of being a kid amidst the diversity of the countless corners of the world, saying, “at their age, they are pretty all much the same; they just want to play.” But it’s how they play that seemed to differ from country to country. There were similarites too, especially in the functional and protective powers the toys represented for their proud owners. Stella – Montecchio, Italy Pavel – Kiev, Ukraine Arafa & Aisha – Bububu, Zanzibar Cun Zi Yi – Chongqing, China Bethsaida – Port au Prince, Haiti Orly-Brownsville,Texas Botlhe – Maun, Botswana Watcharapom – Bangkok, Thailand Alessia – Castiglion Fiorentino, Italy Norden – Massa, Morocco Julia – Tirana, Albania Keynor – Cahuita, Costa Rica Shaira – Mumbai, India Tangawizi – Keekorok, Kenya

25 Stunning Infinity Pools Around the World Visually stunning and always situated on a gorgeous backdrop, Infinity pools are surely the most beautiful man-made pools in existence. Sit back, relax, and take a trip around the world through the lens of the infinity pool with these 25 incredible pictures. An infinity edge pool (also named negative edge, zero edge, disappearing edge or vanishing edge pool) is a swimming or reflecting pool which produces a visual effect of water extending to the horizon, vanishing, or extending to “infinity”. They are often seen at fancy or exotic resorts, exclusive estates, and in advertisements. The infinity pool design concept is said to have originated in Bali, Indonesia, where its inspiration came directly from observing the dramatic effect created by the ubiquitous terraced rice paddies, known locally as sawah, for which the island is famous. – Source: Wikipedia 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25.

Gasadalur Village in the Faroe Islands May 15, 2012 Gásadalur is located on the west-side of Vágar, Faroe Islands, and enjoys a panoramic view over the island of Mykines. The tiny village (of 17 in 2007) is surrounded by the highest mountains on Vágar and lies at 62°6’44′N 7°26’5′W. [Source] The Faroe Islands are an island group situated between the Norwegian Sea and the North Atlantic Ocean, approximately halfway between Scotland and Iceland. The islands form a self-governing country under the sovereignty of the Kingdom of Denmark. The Faroe Islands has been a self-governing dependency of Denmark since 1948. The incredible HDR photograph above was taken by Gareth Codd.

World’s Edge May 12, 2012 The Sifter has already featured the incredible Beachy Head Chalk Cliff as the Picture of the Day back in October but the view was never this dramatic. Unfortunately a reverse image search on Google and Tineye did not reveal the original source, please let us know in the comments below if you know who snapped this incredible image! (Thank you for your help Elizabeth Compson!) Beachy Head is a chalk headland on the south coast of England, close to the town of Eastbourne in the county of East Sussex, immediately east of the Seven Sisters. The chalk was formed in the Late Cretaceous period, between 65 and 100 million years ago, when the area was under the sea. There are an estimated 20 deaths a year at Beachy Head.

Salar de Uyuni After Some Rain Feb 2, 2012 Salar de Uyuni (or Salar de Tunupa) is the world’s largest salt flat at 10,582 square kilometers (4,086 sq mi). It is located in the Potosi and Oruro departments in southwest Bolivia, near the crest of the Andes, and is elevated 3,656 meters (11,995 ft) above the mean sea level. The Salar was formed as a result of transformations between several prehistoric lakes. The large area, clear skies and exceptional surface flatness make the Salar an ideal object for calibrating the altimeters of the Earth observation satellites. Unfortunately the photographer was not listed in the comments on Reddit. Mt. Rainier Casting a Shadow on Clouds Jun 4, 2012 This rare and remarkable phenomenon only happens when the sun rises farther to the south as Winter solstice approaches. At the right place and time, Mount Rainier blocks rays of morning sunlight, casting a shadow like you see above. When the cloud coverage is just right, you get this incredible scene, wonderfully shot by Komo News contributor, Nick Lippert. This particular image was shot on the morning of October 26th, 2011. Mount Rainier is a massive stratovolcano located 54 miles (87 km) southeast of Seattle in the state of Washington, United States.

40 websites that will make you cleverer right now The indexed web contains an incredible 14 billion pages. But only a tiny fraction help you improve your brain power. Here are 40 of the best. whizzpast.com – Learn about our awe inspiring past all in one wonderful place. khanacademy.org – Watch thousands of micro-lectures on topics ranging from history and medicine to chemistry and computer science. freerice.com – Help end world hunger by correctly answering multiple-choice quizzes on a wide variety of subjects. artofmanliness.com – Blog/site dedicated to all things manly, great for learning life skills and good insights. unplugthetv.com – Randomly selects an educational video for you to watch. coursera.org – An educational site that works with universities to get their courses on the Internet, free for you to use. mentalfloss.com – Interesting articles guaranteed to make you smile and get you thinking. feelgoodwardrobe.com – Find out how the world of fashion really works and what you can do to combat it. lifehacker.com – Learn to hack life!

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