6 Insane Batman Villains You Won't See in the Movies
Batman has the greatest set of villains of any superhero, but not every character can be a Joker or a Two-Face. Or even a Penguin. It turns out that the only thing one needs to qualify as a member of Batman's rogue gallery is being insane and knowing how to sew a costume. We all know that sooner or later, the Batman movies are going to run out of interesting villains to feature and will be forced to start scraping closer to the bottom of the barrel. Whoever they end up choosing, we hope it's not someone like ... #6. Batman #69 (1952)His entire body is made of breasts. The King of Cats is possibly the creepiest Batman villain ever created, and not just because he looks like a date rapist stalking a furry convention. Oh, and he has a thing for his sister. Batman #69 (1952)Of the 20 things wrong with this picture, the most pressing is why that panther has the torso of a man. Batman #69 (1952)Is he oblivious to the fact that he's sitting right inside the cat's butt, or was he counting on that?
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No, I'm too sexy for you!
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The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth (Part 2)
In Cracked's continuous effort to make your local haunted house look like a boring pile of dog turds, we once again present the creepiest real places on Earth. Whether it's due to their bizarre histories, suspicious coincidences or good ol' human insanity, these are the locations even the die-hardest of atheists wouldn't venture into without a crucifix and a Super Soaker full of Pope-blessed water. Located smack in the middle of a swamp in the heart of Aztec country is the popular tourist destination La Isla de las Munecas, or Island of the Dolls, a name missing at least two adjectives and the word "fucking." To get there, visitors have to hire a guide to take them by boat through the canals of Xochimilco, then to the island itself, all the while making the guide promise on a stack of Bibles that he's not going to abandon them once they reach their destination. "Seriously, Pablo? Not that he'd do that, right? Oh. One that will cost tourists sleep for decades. Guess we'll never know. Homey.
The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth
It doesn't matter whether or not you believe in ghosts, there are some places in which none of us would want to spend a night. These places have well earned their reputations as being so creepy, tragic or mysterious (or all three) that they definitely qualify as "haunted." Places like... Aokigahara is a woodland at the base of Mount Fuji in Japan that makes The Blair Witch Project forest look like Winnie the Pooh's Hundred Acre Wood. What Niagara Falls is to weddings, Aokigahara is to suicide. More than 500 fucking people have taken their own lives in Aokigahara since the 1950s. The trend has supposedly started after Seicho Matsumoto published his novel Kuroi Kaiju (Black Sea of Trees) where two of his characters commit suicide there. Also skulls. Besides bodies and homemade nooses, the area is littered with signs displaying such uplifting messages like "Life is a precious thing! "If you commit suicide here, bears will poop on your corpse." Winchester Mystery House Oh, bitch...!
7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)
Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing). Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe. There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. #7. Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain? We are simply too smart and too well-armed for any wild animal to hunt. If you're saying, "Sure, but it's not like my city is full of bears that can come eat all the zombies," you need to think smaller. Not so disgusting now, are they? We'll scale up a bit: In America alone, we have bears, wolves, coyotes and cougars, all of which can put well-armed, thinking, fast-moving humans on the menu, if the conditions are right. #6. #5. #4.
6 Insane Discoveries That Science Can't Explain
We like to feel superior to the people who lived centuries ago, what with their shitty mud huts and curing colds by drilling a hole in their skulls. But we have to give them credit: They left behind some artifacts that have left the smartest of modern scientists scratching their heads. For instance, you have the following enigmas that we believe were created for no other purpose than to fuck with future generations. The Voynich Manuscript The Mystery: The Voynich manuscript is an ancient book that has thwarted all attempts at deciphering its contents. It appears to be a real language--just one that nobody has seen before. Translation: "...and when you get her to put the tennis racket in her mouth, have her stand in a fountain for a while. There is not even a consensus on who wrote it, or even when it was written. Why Can't They Solve It? Could you? Don't even try. As you can imagine, proposed solutions have been all over the board, from reasonable to completely clownshit. Our Guess:
The 7 Most Hilariously Badass Magazine Covers Ever
Beginning in the '30s and running all the way up until the 1970s, stag magazines were outlets for the frustrated masculinity of men returning from wartime only to find that their new foes were squeaky hinges and their most thrilling conquest was crabgrass. They needed excitement so badly that they didn't care if it was vicarious or insane. And thus entered the stag mags: Their modus operandi was to commission an eye-catching painting first, and then hire a writer to pen a "true story" that synced up with the tantalizing image. But regardless of the veracity of their accounts, one thing was inarguable: There has always been a very fine line between insane badass and aggressive homosexuality; stag magazine covers stood up and said: "Fuck that line." Ostensibly, the viewer is supposed to take one look at this painting and think, "Jesus, can you imagine being caught in that awful situation? However will that man survive?" That's the intent, anyway. See it? But ... why? Curiosity, of course.
