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A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy" 

A Message to Women From a Man: You Are Not "Crazy" 
You're so sensitive. You're so emotional. You're defensive. You're overreacting. Calm down. Relax. Sound familiar? If you're a woman, it probably does. Do you ever hear any of these comments from your spouse, partner, boss, friends, colleagues, or relatives after you have expressed frustration, sadness, or anger about something they have done or said? When someone says these things to you, it's not an example of inconsiderate behavior. And this is the sort of emotional manipulation that feeds an epidemic in our country, an epidemic that defines women as crazy, irrational, overly sensitive, unhinged. I think it's time to separate inconsiderate behavior from emotional manipulation, and we need to use a word not found in our normal vocabulary. I want to introduce a helpful term to identify these reactions: gaslighting. The term comes from the 1944 MGM film, Gaslight, starring Ingrid Bergman. And the act of gaslighting does not simply affect women who are not quite sure of themselves. Why? Related:  genre/sexualite/etcWomen's rights

Periods groupthink.jezebel Female programmer who has worked in the game industry here... I get "fake geek girl" BS in job interviews. I have skipped applying for programming jobs because the ads promote the "bro-centric company culture," where it is common to drink beer and no one complains about your naughty sense of humor. I have applied at companies that won't interview me for the position that I'm qualified for because the type of programming that I do is more typical for guys and this other type over here that I don't do is more typical for girls; in order to show how inclusive of women they are, they strongly encourage me to apply for [girl job] despite me being grossly overqualified for [boy job that I can't be interviewed for]. So let me tell you why there are so few games with strong female protagonists and so few games with characters that women can identify with as idealized heroes: games are made by men for themselves. I don't want games for women by women.

Is Having an Abortion Likely to Damage a Woman's Mental Health? The most downloaded article from the October 2011 is a review of the negative mental health effects of abortion by American Priscilla Coleman. The article has prompted an extraordinary number of e-letters, almost all of them highly critical. Anti-choice websites, apparently alerted in advance of the article's publication, created an immediate buzz about it across the US. Professor Coleman unwittingly provides a clue to a standard we can apply in evaluating her review and conclusions. Thank you, Professor Coleman. A close read of the article immediately suggests a strong bias including a preference for her own extremely weak studies to the exclusion of others, nonsensical comparisons, and misinterpretation of basis statistics. Although there is a vast literature concerning mental health effects of abortion, Coleman selects only 22 studies, 11 of them her own. What is the issue with Coleman's choice of comparisons/control groups?

Sexe et thé : l’analogie du siècle pour comprendre le consentement  |  blogue Originel Le consentement sexuel n’est pas sorcier. Depuis quelques mois, une analogie circule en ligne, en anglais, pour faire comprendre à quel point c’est simple. J’ai envie de la traduire maintenant, parce que selon un sondage réalisé en ligne par la Fondation canadienne des femmes, deux Canadiens sur trois ne comprennent pas bien de quoi il s’agit. La majorité des gens ignorent, par exemple, que le consentement sexuel peut être retiré à tout moment. Voici donc l’analogie du siècle pour parler de consentement : Imaginons qu’au lieu de parler de sexe, on parle de thé. Si vous offrez du thé à une personne et qu’elle vous répond : « Oh mon Dieu! Maintenant, imaginons qu’elle vous réponde : « Hum. Vous pouvez aller faire bouillir de l’eau si vous le désirez, mais si elle décide que, finalement, elle ne veut pas boire de thé, c’est son droit. En fait, même si elle a répondu oui au départ, elle peut à tout moment changer d’idée. L’analogie n’est pas parfaite, mais elle résume bien l’idée.

#497: On “keeping the peace” with an unlikeable mansplainer Hello Captain Awkward & Team! A couple of years ago my mother met a new partner, A. He has many fine qualities such as being handy with building things, generous with his time and always willing to lend a hand. He makes my mother very happy and I am happy for her. He is also the biggest mansplainer ever. If we talk about something and I make an assertion he disagrees with he questions me, he always demands sources (as in right now at the dinner table I should cite article, author and page number). If we have a discussion about something and he does not believe me and my boyfriend steps in and says The. He is insecure and must always have what other people have when it comes to food, candy & similar. I am an assertive person and I do not as a general rule let people trample all over me. How can I deal with all of this in a mature, assertive manner? Sincerely, Hysterical Historian Dear Historian: Let’s talk about what “keeping the peace” means in a family situation like this. That’s okay.

Joanne Herman: Transgender or Transgendered? I've increasingly been seeing and hearing the word "transgendered," and I have cringed every time. What's wrong with the seemingly subtle difference between saying "transgendered" and "transgender?" Actually, a lot. Readers of my age and older will remember a sad time when this country labeled African-Americans as "colored people." Most transgender people I know have felt a gender incongruity for as long as they remember, and evolving science says we were probably born feeling like this. If hearing "transgendered people" is a problem for me, you can imagine how I felt when two different non-transgender friends recently told me independently that they knew a "person who had transgendered." Other transgender people feel that their gender is part male and part female, or perhaps they feel gender-less. Note to journalists: In the Associated Press Stylebook, transgender is listed but "transgendered" is not. "The word transgender never needs the extraneous "ed" at the end of the word.

Les attributs du pouvoir et leur confiscation aux femmes. Le genre et la parole. Partie 1 : l’occupation de l’espacePartie 2 : le temps de parole et le choix des sujets de conversation Partie 3 : l’expression de la colère Nous avons vu que les hommes – ou du moins les personnes masculines – occupaient plus d’espace que les personnes féminines. Nous allons voir maintenant comment se répartit le temps de parole entre les genres. Je vous renvoie d’emblée à cet article très intéressant « La répartition des tâches entre les femmes et les hommes dans le travail de la conversation » de Corinne Monnet. Avant de continuer plus loin, je voudrais expliquer les « règles du jeu » de la conversation, comme les ont définies Sacks H., Schegloff E. et Jefferson G. Il existe donc des « violations » de ces règles de fonctionnement, qui sont les interruptions, mais aussi les silences – les chevauchements ont été plutôt interprétés comme des dysfonctionnement du système2-. Selon un mythe bien ancré, les femmes parleraient plus que les hommes. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13.

Seeing a Woman: A conversation between a father and son | From One Degree to Another | Nate Pyle Someday I am going to have to have the conversation with my son. No, not the conversation all parents dread giving and all kids are mortified having. I enjoy making people uncomfortable so that conversation should be fun. No, I’m talking about another conversation. Hey, come here. A lot of people will try and tell you that a woman should watch how she dresses so she doesn’t tempt you to look at her wrongly. Look right at me. You are more than that. There are two views regarding a woman’s dress code that you will be pressured to buy into. Unfortunately, much of how the sexes interact with each is rooted in fear. A woman’s body is beautiful and wonderful and mysterious. I’m not telling you to not look at women. My hope is that changing how you see women will change how you are around them. Because in the end, they want to be with you. Ultimately, it’s what you want.

Brian Honigman: 5 Ways to Become a Digital Volunteer Everyday there are more opportunities to give back. The digital revolution has made volunteering more accessible -- wherever and whenever. At the same time, the volunteer rate has declined slightly to 26.5 percent as of September 2012 according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics . For service organizations, these statistics matter. Here's a sample of some best practices: 1. The Red Cross offers training for individuals interested in assisting their social engagement team in communicating with people on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram using Radian6 and other online tools during times of disaster. 2. Choose one of the many volunteer opportunities available through the United Nations based on either your skills and experience, a specific development topic like environment, health or gender or a specific geographic location. 3. Code Corps is looking for volunteers to donate their time using digital tools from participating organizations. 4. 5.

Féminin trop singulier LE MONDE | • Mis à jour le | Par Catherine Vincent Quand la misogynie va se nicher jusque dans le dictionnaire, la féminisation des noms devient un combat. Retour sur un siècle de polémiques Quoi de plus respectable qu'un dictionnaire ? Dans cet inventaire prétendu neutre se cache en effet un dénigrement subtil, mais quasi permanent, du féminin. "J'ai travaillé sur Le Robert, mais on peut faire le même constat avec tous les dictionnaires de la langue française", précise Françoise Leclère, en rappelant que le lexicologue Alain Rey, figure emblématique du Robert, fut le premier à qualifier le dictionnaire de "prescripteur idéologique". Linguiste de formation, Claire Michard aboutit aux mêmes conclusions, mais par une autre approche. Quelle mesure imaginer pour lutter contre cette dissymétrie sémantique, qui biaise systématiquement la représentation sociale des femmes ? "Avocate ?" En 1984, l'histoire se répète. "Le scénario est toujours le même, souligne Claudie Baudino. Sage-homme ?

Why Hillary Clinton Won't Pay for Disparaging Her Husband's Accusers Yes, she behaved badly. But under the circumstances, how many people would've managed better? And how is it relevant to the job she may seek? Reuters When I wrote about attacks on Bill Clinton earlier this week, I focused on how they might help Republicans confronting the charge that they're waging a "war on women." A retrospective on Monica Lewinsky, Paula Jones, and Gennifer Flowers won't help the GOP when it comes to the politics of abortion or contraception. In passing, I added that the GOP would nevertheless be foolish to attack Hillary Clinton over her husband's sexual indiscretions, though doing so will be a temptation. Any attack on Hillary Clinton would have to clear a high hurdle: The public wisely presumes that it's unfair to attack a woman for her husband's misbehavior. Try the following thought experiment: Chris Christie, or Sarah Palin, or Andrew Cuomo is asked by a friend about sexual harassment allegations against a powerful Senator. That doesn't make it right.

How one woman's abduction led to the Watch Over Me app “Send me home, please.” Sometimes, I like to pretend that no one has managed to sound quite as plaintive but threatening as I did when I gently pressed an arrowhead into a taxi driver's neck. I had fallen asleep in the back of the cab, only to wake up without a clue where I was. No further words were exchanged after that. I kept my arrow—I practiced archery in college—rested under the arc of his jaw, and he kept on driving. Although we'd like to think otherwise, women are still abducted on a daily basis. One woman narrowly fought off a kidnapping last year, and although the incident continues to haunt her, she refuses to stay silent. In May 2012, Xin-Ci Chin found herself living through what could almost pass as a Hollywood-created nightmare. “It was a Sunday at about 5 p.m. The next few minutes were a blur for the then 25-year-old Chin. “I remember biting someone,” the petite woman remarks, with a laugh tinged with both fear and resentment.