An Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office | MillionFace World's funniest joke The "world's funniest joke" is a term used by Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in 2002 to summarize one of the results of his research. For his experiment, named LaughLab, he created a website where people could rate and submit jokes.[1] Purposes of the research included discovering the joke that had the widest appeal and understanding among different cultures, demographics and countries.[citation needed] The History Channel eventually hosted a special on the subject. The jokes The winning joke, which was later found to be based on a 1951 Goon Show sketch by Spike Milligan,[2] was submitted by Gurpal Gosal of Manchester: Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. References
Kids talk Science This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS' SCIENCE EXAMS: * "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." * "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull." * "When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire." * "H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water." * "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars." * "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire." * "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas." * "The body consists of three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abominable cavity.
www.cs.columbia.edu/sip/sipit/funeral.txt Dear friends, It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. why americans should never be allowed to travel I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?" I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts. A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. A nice lady just called. A woman called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know who's luggage belongs to who?" I just got off the phone with a man who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?"
Hurricane Recipes! This weekend was a “hurricane”! You remained calm and refused to overreact, right? False, you totally flipped your lid and bought 234 of every non-perishable item at Gristedes. First of all, you should have gone to Food Emporium, and second, what do we do with all this stuff now that the hurricane AND the MTV VMAs are over? Let me Martha Stewart you through some delectable adventures in using up the rest of all your refrigeration-defying snacks. 1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 1. 2. 1. 2. 3. 1. 1. 2. 3. 3. 1. 2. 3. 1. 2. 1. 2. 1. 1. 1. 2. 3. LOTS OF PUNS ...A guy goes into a nice restaurant bar wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. ...This mushroom walks into a bar and starts hitting on this woman... ...This horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey, buddy, why the long face... ...These two strings walk upto a bar... ...This grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Hey! ...This baby seal walks into a bar and the bartender says,"What'll ya have..." ...This skeleton walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and a mop..." ...A man walked into a bar and sat down next to a man with a dog at his feet. ...A neutron walks into a bar. ...A guy walks into a bar. Back
Dear blank, please blank Wenn man nicht aufpasst, kann es passieren, dass man ohne es zu merken gleich mehrere Stunden auf der “Dear blank, please blank” Homepage verbringt. Wenn ich nicht so vorsichtig wär, würde ich wahrscheinlich jetzt noch dasitzen und eine lustige Kurznachricht nach der anderen lesen. Wer von euch ausreichend Zeit hat, sollte sich die Seite nicht entgehen lassen. Es ist jedoch besser die Finger davon zu lassen, wenn man noch bei der Arbeit ist. Für diejenigen habe ich hier eine kurze Light-Version zusammengestellt: Die Karten sind hier im Etsy Shop für jeweils 4,50 Dollar erhältlich. Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"Witness: "I only have one, you know." Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?" The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail. Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?" Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house?" Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?" Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?" Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?" Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?" Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?" Lawyer: "Sir, what is your IQ?" Lawyer: "Mr.
Water is dangerous This was found on the newsgroup: rec.humor.funny A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide." And for plenty of good reasons, since: it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting it is a major component in acid rain it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state accidental inhalation can kill you it contributes to erosion it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical. He feels the conclusion is obvious.
Eight Absurd Texts That Make You Wish Your Mom Didn’t Have An iPhone Dad’s Birthday Surprise Mom Always Knew Mom Discovers Internet Lingo That’s No Way To Celebrate Your Anniversary What Do Dad And Mondays Have In Common? Mom Watched A Dateline About Push Pops This Is Awkward I Almost Think It’s On Purpose… Hot On The PBH Network & The Web