The Top 10 Psychology Studies of 2010 The end of 2010 fast approaches, and I'm thrilled to have been asked by the editors of Psychology Today to write about the Top 10 psychology studies of the year. I've focused on studies that I personally feel stand out, not only as examples of great science, but even more importantly, as examples of how the science of psychology can improve our lives. Each study has a clear "take home" message, offering the reader an insight or a simple strategy they can use to reach their goals , strengthen their relationships, make better decisions, or become happier. 1) How to Break Bad Habits If you are trying to stop smoking , swearing, or chewing your nails, you have probably tried the strategy of distracting yourself - taking your mind off whatever it is you are trying not to do - to break the habit. That's because habit-behaviors happen automatically - often, without our awareness. J. 2) How to Make Everything Seem Easier J. 3) How To Manage Your Time Better M. 4) How to Be Happier J.
Nine Things You Should Figure Out Before Moving in Together So, that’s it. You’ve decided to move in together. You’re excited, in love, and ready to go for it. The first few months of living together are a pivotal time in every couple’s relationship. Get On the Same Page You no longer need to pack an overnight bag and you’re going to be paying less in rent, which is awesome. Let the Dust Settle The first few weeks are blissful. Set House Rules He’s your boyfriend, not just your roommate, so you guys don’t need to talk about the dishes, right? Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff If little things are bothering you—socks on the floor instead of the hamper, his leaving the water running while brushing his teeth—say something or learn to let it go. Establish Your Own Personal Space Just because you share an address doesn’t mean you always have to share couch space. Have a Date Night Since inevitably you’re going to see each other at home, making dates with each other might come to a stop. Plan an Exit Strategy Feeling trapped in a situation is stressful.
Wayne Dyer’s Top 8 Tips for Building a Better Social Life Image by kalandrakas (license). “Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.” “Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” One of my favourite personal development people is the psychologist Wayne Dyer. He seems to be a very warm person but he also someone who takes a lot personal responsibility and is assertive. This is reflected in his work. Dr. 1. “As you think so shall you be! “Loving people live in a loving world. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” How you choose to interpret people and your relationships makes a huge difference. But your underlying frame of mind – for instance an open one or a protective and closed up one – will determine much about your interactions with new people and people you know. So you really have to go inside. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Advice from Somewhere ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other. This came around anonamously, identified as from a "Chinese Tantra Totem" - One definition of a tantra being a statement of principle or religious practice and collections of such principles and practices. Stop Snooping! Who hasn’t logged on to their partner’s Facebook, e-mail, or voicemail? Picked up their cell phone and read through their texts after they’ve left the room? After a relationship breakup or divorce it can be the most tempting time to snoop through the ex’s business. But, if you are ever going to bounce back you need to stop snooping! Not only will you come to regret this decision, especially if they find out, but by snooping you are only gaining information you don’t need to know … and delaying the healing process at the same time. Who cares if there is a juicy e-mail from that co-worker you were always suspicious of when you were together? Another amazing thing will happen when you stop searching for the reason you were broken up with, or for validation that you made the right choice to break up: you will gain some serious closure. When you snoop, you are telling your ex and even more importantly, yourself that someone who has hurt you still deserves your time.
8 Harsh Truths that Will Improve Your Life They say life is what we make of it. By the end of this post, I hope to have helped you decide whether that statement is true or not. There is no doubt that life has its ups and downs. However, how we deal with them can sometimes make all the difference. Today I want to share eight harsh truths that I’ve come to learn from life. Some of these lessons may be old-hat for you. Friends will always come and go in your life; even though I’m back in the UK now, all my friends are in university around the country and not exactly in meeting distance. Important Lesson:There are an abundance of amazing people out there for you to meet and build relationships with. You Won’t Always Get What You Want I remember one Christmas when the only thing I had asked for was some second hand turntables for DJ’ing. You won’t always get what you want in life: people are going to be late, people will let you down, items you want won’t always be available. There May Be No Tomorrow At least, not for you anyway.
100 Ways to Serve Others I’ve continued to be inspired by people’s 100 lists and you’ve probably seen many that I’ve highlighted in recent resource lists. Dragos wrote one that triggered me to write another with his excellent post on 100 tips to write huge lists. This list is on my favorite subject and while the length of these lists makes them quite a challenge to make, this particular subject is one I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about and writing goals in so its a great topic for me to tackle in a list. The items were actually fairly easy to come up for me without any research or added web surfing, but the real effort was then in putting a short description or example for each. Anyway, I’m thrilled to have this list completed and can’t wait to experience and see the results of personally doing every single one on the list. 1. This is a great habit to develop to start each and every day and to practice whenever you have the chance. 2. 3. I mean when it comes to transportation or as a physical destination.
14 Tools to Legally Spy On Your Competition Have you ever wished you were Bond? James Bond? Here are 007+007 = fourteen ways to spy on your competitors’ web sites, without breaking any FISA laws. 1. Statbrain – Using several sources, Statbrain’s algorithm computes the number of visitors to a website based on offsite factors like backlinks, Alexa Rank etc. Statbrain does not have access to log files or any hit-counter information. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. Your mission, should you decide to accept it: Try some (or all) of the above techniques and report back on your intriguing espionage! Shhhhh… care to share your spying secrets? How To Treat Others: 5 Lessons From an Unknown Author Five Lessons About How To Treat People -- Author Unknown 1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady" During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. Surely this was some kind of joke. "Absolutely," said the professor. I've never forgotten that lesson. 2. One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. A special note was attached. Sincerely, Mrs. 3. In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" The little boy again counted his coins. 4. In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. 5.
How to Work with Different Breeds of Clients Marketing August 30, 2010 A filmmaker makes his movies with audience’s interest in mind, an author writes to engage his readers. An understanding of your users’ tastes, moods and personalities is therefore important because any kind of enterprise doesn’t work in isolation. You have to be aware of who you are catering your services to. We have compiled a list of 10 Breeds Of Clients And How to Work with Them, pros and cons of dealing with them for your benefit. 1. How Can You Identify Him: Such a client is very easy to spot because he will make his presence felt instantly. 2. How Can You Identify Him: This breed of client is paranoid. 3.The Appreciative Client How Can You Identify Him: This kind of client will not stop singing your praises and will give you a pat on the back for every small thing you have done. 4. How Can You Identify Him: You are used to seeing this client in your everyday life in different spheres. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Loading ... Leave a Reply
Why You Do What You Do (And Why It Should Scare You) Jun 16, 2009 When it comes to getting things done, most people think of words like productivity, willpower, and goal setting. But if you’re frustrated at where your life is right now and you’re having trouble pushing past the things that are holding you back, willpower isn’t the problem. There’s something more important than that – something so important it determines whether taking action is a pleasure or a chore: It’s the set of personal standards you hold yourself to on a daily basis. Not willpower. Standards determine what you’ll settle for. Standards drive your behavior because they’re linked to what you will and will not tolerate in life. How messy does your car/house/office have to get before you can’t tolerate it anymore? We operate like little human thermostats – we have this mental standard of “okay” that we can tolerate, and when we dip below it, we suddenly get motivated to get our ass in gear. In one sense, standards are part of how we want to identify ourselves. Absolutely.
5 Traits of Lazy People - Associated Content - associatedcontent.com Below are 5 of the easiest lazy traits to recognize. Being a full-time mom and manager of a small alpaca farm I make a point of leaving one day a week as a 'lazy day'. Now, to me, a lazy day means I don't do anything beyond what has to be done, farm chores, mommy chores etc. I leave the dishes be, the floor doesn't get vacuumed, the laundry doesn't get done. 1. The laziest trait of all, is never holding yourself responsible for your actions or the bad luck that happens to you. Lazy people will always point the blame elsewhere. Have you ever taken a look at all the 'Support Groups' out there, alcoholics anonymous is one that everyone is aware of, as well as Narcotics anonymous. Lazy people will refuse to get help and milk the 'addiction' for all it's worth. Cheating, lying, stealing are three separate actions but still fall under unethical. Lazy people will cut corners and fore-go all effort with lies, stealing and cheating. Missing in action. Lazy can be easily misunderstood.
Twelve Virtues of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky by Eliezer Yudkowsky The first virtue is curiosity. A burning itch to know is higher than a solemn vow to pursue truth. To feel the burning itch of curiosity requires both that you be ignorant, and that you desire to relinquish your ignorance. If in your heart you believe you already know, or if in your heart you do not wish to know, then your questioning will be purposeless and your skills without direction. Curiosity seeks to annihilate itself; there is no curiosity that does not want an answer. The second virtue is relinquishment. The third virtue is lightness. The fourth virtue is evenness. The fifth virtue is argument. The sixth virtue is empiricism. The seventh virtue is simplicity. The eighth virtue is humility. The ninth virtue is perfectionism. The tenth virtue is precision. The eleventh virtue is scholarship. Before these eleven virtues is a virtue which is nameless. Miyamoto Musashi wrote, in The Book of Five Rings: How can you improve your conception of rationality?
How To Train Yourself To Be In The Mood You Want Dec 27, 2010 When you have major changes going on in your life, or you’re just frustrated about where you are, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of depression, bad moods and frustration. I know, I’ve been there … and when I’m not careful, I still get there more than I want to. But when I’ve had a particularly hard time, I hit these moments where I’m in a foul mood, or I’m just feeling paralyzed, and I’m just stuck. Sometimes I just stew in that and stay there, but sometimes I actually get intelligent and pull my way out of it. I’m going to outline the framework that I’ve been using successfully to really get myself resourceful and motivated (and in a better mood) when I’m feeling stuck. First Up: Using A Framework to Escape From Paralyzing Emotions When we feel bad, it’s hard to “feel good” again. The reason for this is that steps take the emotion out of our situation and give us direction to simply act. A: AGREE With Yourself That You Don’t Want To Be In This Mood Right Now. Dave