The 5 Most Hilarious Abuses of Video Game Glitches There are two types of gamers: Those who pick up a game and immediately think, "I will not quit until I have emerged victorious in this grand quest!" and those who think, "I will not quit until I find a glitch that will let me fill this fucking castle with watermelons." Actually, I suppose most of us start out as the first one and become the second after we get bored enough. My point is, video game glitches have become the canvas onto which smart-asses create masterpieces. Let us take a moment to appreciate a small sampling of their genius: #5. I never got into Assassin's Creed, but after watching that video, I'm ashamed of myself for giving up on it so easily. "Ugh. Calmly -- almost bored, even -- they step up to their posts, lean up against the wall, grip the top with both hands ... and just dick the living shit out of it. At first, there's just the one guy. The guy on the right is the player, who is my new favorite person. I could seriously watch that all day. #4. #3. Nailed it!
6 Adorable Cat Behaviors With Shockingly Evil Explanations There seem to be two kinds of people in the world: those who don't understand cats, and those who think cats are kind of douchebags. Unfortunately for cat lovers, science has kind of come down on the side of that second group. Research has revealed that a lot of the quirky and even cute things your kitty does are actually signs that your cat is kind of a dick. Meowing to Imitate a Baby Human Cats have many different ways of communicating, but the meow is every cat's go-to vocalization when it wants to tell us something; be it, "I'm hungry," "pay attention to me" or "I just took a dump, go clean it up." A recent study has shown that people subconsciously can tell the difference between a pleading or soliciting meow and a run of the mill, casual one just by listening to sound clips taken from different felines in different situations. In fact, further studies have proven that a cat's cry for food or attention shares a remarkable similarity in frequency to a baby's cry. And guess what?
The 6 Most Absurdly Difficult Video Game Puzzles Video game puzzle designers tread a fine line: If the puzzles are too easy, they're boring, but if they're too hard, nobody will finish the game and you may wind up responsible for the deaths of hundreds of innocent controllers. The key is to make the difficulty of a puzzle come from a logical place so that solving it will make sense to the players, giving them a sense of well-earned accomplishment. But sometimes, the closest thing to a "logical place" that a game designer has is the cubbyhole underneath the toilet that his insane mother kept him in for most of his life. #6. Via Hardcoregaming101.net The Longest Journey is the story of an art student, April Ryan, who saves both her world and a parallel fantasy universe from total annihilation (the fantasy aspect comes from the idea of an art student doing something useful). Early in the game you come across a key stuck on an electrified subway track. But it's so shiny! Behold! Next, it's up to your room. Wait, what key? #5. Shit, OK.
The 5 Ballsiest Easter Eggs Hidden in Video Games #2. Overworked Programmer Turns Helicopter Game into Gay Celebration Before the wildly popular SimCity game series transitioned into the even more wildly popular The Sims , their creators at Maxis tried out about a dozen other "Sim + some other word" combinations to see if they caught on. SimFarm failed because it lacked the option to annoy your family and friends with invitations. The best known of that bunch is SimCopter , but not for the reasons Maxis intended. We're not sure who that dude in the gray hoodie is, but we'd bet money he's taken a human life. This last part wasn't fully intentional, it turns out. Which explains the mysterious bulge in the girl on the right. Servin programmed the characters to come out only on certain dates, but an error in the code made them show up more often and in greater numbers, causing spontaneous gay pride parades to form around the helicopter. Looks pretty consensual to us. #1. It's the most entertaining 5 percent. That's actually Level 3.
6 Shockingly Evil Things Babies Are Capable Of As anyone who's ever encountered babies in the wild can tell you, they're shiftless little balls of deception and greed. Those of us who stand up to walk, and sit down to poop may not be Mother Theresa, but it turns out we had a long way to go from our babbling drooling selves. Yes, unless you're a borderline sociopath today, you were probably at your worst before you ever uttered a word. It's science! It seems crazy that a barely functioning human infant could be cunning enough to lie to get out of trouble, but it's true. Oh shut up, you piece of shit. Perhaps even more surprising is that, when they know they've done something wrong, the little bastards will distract their parents to avoid getting caught. Why Did I Do That?! Lying is considered an important part of a child's development. According to science, lying isn't something that happens when a normal baby get's corrupted by TV--it is normal human behavior. Pictured: You, if your parents were flightless birds. Survival.
6 Japanese Video Games That Will Make Your Head Explode #3. Cubivore: Survival of the Fittest: The Geometric Animal Breeding Game Via Covergalaxy.com Animal Leader was a game developed by Nintendo for the Nintendo 64 console that was so bizarre, they decided they wouldn't even bother trying to sell it outside Japan. The game is perfectly summed up by its trailer, where we can see a group of little cube-shaped pigs peacefully playing together ... Japanese pork chops are shaped like Wendy's hamburgers. ... when a larger cube-beast barges in and freaking tears them apart. Seriously, watch the trailer so you can hear the blood-curdling screams of that pig. And then the horrifying silence as its head snaps off. That's literally what the game is about: You start as a little cube-piglet and slowly evolve into something bigger and scarier by fighting other animals, violently ripping apart their limbs and eating them to gain their powers (if that's not how real evolution works, it should be). "So leave us alone. Seven hours later ... #2. Via Hkfilm.net #1.
7 Video Game Easter Eggs Designed to Screw With Your Head Video game Easter eggs come in a variety of flavors. Some are meant to amuse the player, some are meant to creep the hell out of the player and some ... some have no discernible purpose other than making the player go what the actual fuck? These are the latter kind. #7. Silent Hill 2: The Dog Ending Via Covergalaxy.com The Silent Hill franchise is generally recognized as one of the most terrifying game series ever produced. So these games are pretty freaky to begin with, but somehow, a secret ending for Silent Hill 2 managed to make the entire franchise even weirder. It may take you as many as three playthroughs to get this right, but it's totally worth it, because once you open the door, you'll find ... ... a dog in a headset, mucking around at a control panel. "Now it all makes sense!" Realizing that the search for his wife has all been for naught and he's been a puppet of a freaking dog all this time, James falls to his knees for the small comfort of said dog licking his face. #6. #5. #4.
The 5 Most Horrible Things Nobody Tells You About Babies Hollywood comedies about parenthood depend entirely on making raising a kid look a ridiculous, hectic mess. Then, eventually the leading man finds out that in the end, the rewards make it all worth it. That's mostly because for whatever reason, baby murder is still taboo in modern Hollywood comedies. When you have a real kid, you realize there's plenty of stuff those movies don't show you. If they did, their zany comedy about a single father finding a baby on his doorstep would quickly become a nightmare inducing horror that would shut down the genitals of any aspiring parent. #5. In the movies, the setup is always the same. Photos.com What most parents aren't prepared for is the day the baby decides to evacuate 20 tons of waste from his system every 10 minutes for 24 hours straight. This turns it into an open wound. The next time the baby starts to cry, you'll get out your poop disposal equipment, remove the diaper and recoil in horror. #4. Of course I panicked. Photos.com"Mmmmmm ...
The 7 Most Horrifying Moments from Children's Video Games We know that video games are not, by their nature, strictly for children. They can be extremely violent, very mature and occasionally horrifying to a degree that non-interactive media can never reach. But that's why we have a rating system for them: As a parent, you just pick up a box, check the rating and verify that at least one of the characters is some smart-aleck anthropomorphic bunny rabbit or something, and then you pop that sucker into the nearest Nintendo and go get drunk under a sprinkler for a while, secure in the knowledge that your kids are being entertained in relative psychological safety. But then, hours later, the unnatural, keening screams coming from inside the house rouse you from your drunken stupor, and you realize that you accidentally ruined your children by exposing them to one of these horrifying moments from otherwise kid-friendly video games. #7. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure Via Plasticpals.com So peaceful. The Horror: "Don't make us play it again!"
The 5 Biggest Cheaters in Game Show History On game shows, cheaters never win. However, they can come pretty close sometimes. Here are the five biggest game show heists by four sinister people who almost got away with it, and one who totally did. #5. Press Your Luck -- Amount Stolen: $110,237 Michael Larson had a part-time job as an ice cream truck driver, but was cursed to look like a wolf digging its way out of a child molester's corpse. When you sit at home watching TV it's only a matter of time until you hit it big, and that's what happened to Michael. On Press Your Luck, a box spun randomly around a board and you stopped it with your buzzer to win whatever it landed on. The producers obviously knew something was strange, but since he wasn't technically cheating, they gave him what he won. Like all ideas stolen from the awful children in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, his plan ended badly. #4. Million Dollar Drop was a short-lived game show where couples had $1,000,000 they wagered on trivia knowledge. #3.
6 Beneficial Things They Made You Stop Doing in School It's easy to think of a classroom as a battle of wills between kids who want to dick around all day and teachers who actually want to make them learn. But it's not that simple. A lot of the things that will get you yelled at in a classroom are, in fact, beneficial to learning. They're just really annoying to other people (and the teacher). #6. Getty Teachers must look at the cell phone as the modern plague on their profession. Getty"You can have it back at the end of the semester, if it doesn't sell on eBay." But teachers have a reason to hate texting above even other high-tech time-wasters like portable games. Everybody should stop and take a deep breath, because texting actually improves both your language skills and your ability to pay attention in class. Getty"Holly balls, I understand calculus!" Wait, What? Yes, you read that right. Mark van LaereIt's not Hemingway, but it is a form of literacy. Sounds counter-intuitive? Getty"Well at least they aren't selling drugs. #5. Right. #4.
The 6 Creepiest Glitches in Famous Video Games (Part 2) If you ask gamers what the scariest video game ever is, they'll probably say something like Silent Hill or Amnesia or Pac-Man (seriously, try to imagine it in first-person view). But most of those games are intentionally trying to be scary. The true horror happens when a completely normal game that wanted nothing but to entertain you accidentally becomes corrupted, offering us a glimpse of what hell would look like if it were rendered in video game graphics. Once again, let's look at what happens when video game glitches stop being annoying and start being terrifying. #6. Via Bethsoft.com Video games today look better than they've ever looked ... but at what cost? How many people thought this was part of the normal game and immediately threw the disc into a fire? This happens before you are even allowed to move. "Can you help me find my teddy bear, mister?" "I think I left it over here ..." "Or maybe ... over here ..." See, normally, we have to write mods in order to make that happen. #5. #4.
10 Highly Anticipated Video Games You'll Never Get To Play Making video games is a perilous process that has claimed many a promising title. While countless games get quietly axed when development hits a snag, some games live on in vaporware purgatory, with loyal fans longing for their release. Why do we care? Because if these games were ever allowed to see the light of day, they would almost certainly kick ass. You know those legions of ant-sized grunts you'd cruelly send marching to their bloody demise in Starcraft? OK, deep down, all of us knew. How much ass would it have kicked? ... then this game may have cured cancer had it ever seen the light of day. So is there any chance it'll come out? When a company has erected a towering camel-toe flashing statue of a character near the front door of their headquarters, that can usually be taken as a good sign they may still have plans for them. If Starcraft Ghost ever happens we'd have to think it'd come out after Blizzard's next monster, a little game called Starcraft II.
7 Reasons Computer Glitches Won't Go Away (Ever) People have been complaining about computer glitches since the punch card days. Honestly, it's 2010. Why don't we have simple stuff like drivers and software compatibility fixed yet? Well, the bad news is that there are really good reasons your PC doesn't work quite right, even now. You can blame ... PC Parts That Are Manufactured by God Knows Who Have you ever wondered why the newest computers still start up with a screenful of text and a "Speak-and-Spell"-esque beep? An elegant computer, for a more civilized age. The reason the IBM PC design was so popular was the same reason the actual IBM PC wasn't -- IBM took a page from Eli Whitney's book and allowed each part of the computer to be interchanged with a part made by a competitor, meaning that you could (and today, almost definitely do) have an entire PC made from non-IBM parts. So, say that one day the Taiwanese company that made your sound card finally goes bankrupt or is captured by China. Software That's Written by God Knows Who