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How to Give Yourself to Whatever the Moment Brings, and Forget Stress

How to Give Yourself to Whatever the Moment Brings, and Forget Stress
Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter. The prevailing way of living in our Western societies is to plan out our lives, both for the long term and on a day-to-day basis. We have planners and digital calendars that map out our lives, sometimes to the minute. But it’s an illusion, as I’ve said before. We cannot control our lives to this degree, no matter how we try. And what happens when the plans go wrong? Think about how often your days actually go according to plan, exactly — it’s pretty rare, because we have no way of predicting the future. So if plans will almost always go wrong, and when they do we get stressed out, isn’t all the time we spend creating the plans a bit of a waste? But what’s the alternative? Don’t plan. And now for the dos: Do be open. Again, this way of living won’t be for everybody. And when we live in the moment, we’re really living life to the fullest. Related:  Understanding Human BehaviorPsychologySELF IMPROVEMENT

6 Best Tips to Turn off Negative Thoughts How to Avoid Negative Thoughts How to stop negative thoughts How to Turn off Negative Thoughts Here are the best ways to avoid negative thoughts which looks like Negative Thoughts quotes. A1. A2. A3. A4. A5. A6. 20 mental barriers you should let go of photo by admitchell08 You are in an imaginary hot air balloon. It’s just you and all of your belongings in the wicker basket. Something went wrong and you are losing altitude fast. You will hit the ground in less than ten minutes if you don’t come up with something quick. The only immediate solution is to get rid of excess weight and throw off at least half of your belongings. This happens to all of us in less dramatic circumstances. Our mental life follows the same fate. Some of them are useless ideas that drag us down considerably. So if you were in the hot air balloon situation, which of these mental barriers should we let go? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Related posts:

Seven Weird Habits That Will Change Your Life Some habits will help you live a better life. They’ll help you improve what’s already working or help you fix what’s not working very well. But what about habits that completely change the game entirely? What are the questions that uproot your beliefs, shake them from its roots and move you into a bigger pot? These are seven habits that won’t just improve your game, or help you “level up.” They’ll help you play a different game, one that you completely design yourself. Regularly engage in time travel. These are just a few habits I’ve found that have made a huge difference for me. So now my question for you is this: What habit has made the biggest difference for you? photo courtesy of platinum Share: Get everything you need to finally leave your job for good. The first few weeks of the Job Escape Kit has already produced some outcomes I’d never thought I’d see in my whole career.” ~ Nick Burk

A Guide for Those Helping Others with Grief A Guide for Those Helping Others with Grief (photocopy and give to close friends and loved ones) Don't try to find the magic words or formula to eliminate the pain. Nothing can erase or minimize the painful tragedy your friend or loved one is facing. Don't try to minimize or make the person feel better. Help with responsibilities. Don't expect the person to reach out to you. Talk through decisions. Don't be afraid to say the name of the deceased. Excerpted from "I Wasn't Ready to Say Good-bye: a guide for surviving, coping and healing after the sudden death of a loved one" by Brook Noel and Pamela D.

Mental Floss: Why Do We Knock on Wood? Reader Dante wrote in to ask, “Why is knocking on wood good luck?” Traditionally, when you speak of your own good fortune, you follow up with a quick knock on a piece of wood to keep your luck from going bad. More recently, simply saying the phrase “knock on wood”—or “touch wood” in the UK—has replaced actually knocking. Where’d all this come from? Before Christianity and Islam came around to spoil the party with their rules about idolatry, many pagan groups and other cultures—from Ireland to India to elsewhere in the world—worshipped or mythologized trees. Some peoples used trees as oracles, some incorporated them into worship rituals and some, like the ancient Celts, regarded them as the homes of certain spirits and gods. Authors Stefan Bechtel and Deborah Aaronson both suggest two connections between knocking on wood and these spirits in their respective books, The Good Luck Book and Luck: The Essential Guide.

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? 1. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. 2. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. “By letting it go it all gets done. 3. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. 4. Oh my. “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. 5. 6.

4 Steps to Deal with Disappointment “Don’t let today’s disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow’s dreams.” ~Unknown For me, disappointment is one of life’s most uncomfortable feelings. It’s complex, containing a subset of other emotions like anger, hurt, sadness, and probably many others too subtle to identify. Sometimes, those emotions by themselves are easier to deal with, but disappointment can leave me at a loose end. I might not be sure whether I should feel angry, or just impatiently wish that I would hurry up and get over it. Here are 4 steps I’ve recently identified in my own process for genuinely getting past disappointment: 1. One of the hardest things to do in a world where everything is immediate—we are all under external pressure, and time is a scarce resource—is to just let yourself experience a feeling. Even at the most difficulties times, such as grieving, on average we only allow ourselves 1 to 2 weeks off or work, and then we mostly expect to get back into normality again. 2. 3. 4. Photo by shawncampbell

15 Things That Emotionally Strong People Don't Do There is a particular aspect of mental strength that is the deciding factor of whether or not you will have a good life. There are many levels to mental strength and all are needed to be successful and happy. The one particular area of mental strength that has the greatest impact is that of emotional strength. Emotions are, of course, a part of our psyche, yet nevertheless, can be distinguished from the remainder of mental qualities because they most directly influence our physical body. They affect the way our body functions and they drive every single one of our actions. Emotions are our greatest motivators. 1. Needing attention is directly linked to emotion. 2. Emotional strength requires resilience. 3. If you’re holding a grudge, then you already care more about a situation than you should. 4. Emotionally strong individuals do what they do because they love doing it. 5. 6. People are mean. 7. 8. If you’re afraid to love, you don’t have enough confidence in yourself. 9. 10. 11. 12.

30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. Here are some ideas to get you started: Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. Update: Read our follow-up to this post: 30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself Photo by: Rob Brucker

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