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Active Listening - Communication Skills Training from MindTools

Active Listening - Communication Skills Training from MindTools
Hear What People are Really Saying Learn how to hear the whole message by using active listening techniques. Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships with others. For instance: We listen to obtain information. Given all this listening we do, you would think we'd be good at it! Turn it around and it reveals that when you are receiving directions or being presented with information, you aren't hearing the whole message either. Clearly, listening is a skill that we can all benefit from improving. Tip: Good communication skills require a high level of self-awareness . About Active Listening The way to improve your listening skills is to practice "active listening." In order to do this you must pay attention to the other person very carefully. To enhance your listening skills, you need to let the other person know that you are listening to what he or she is saying. 1. 2. 3.

Empathic Listening The Benefits of Empathic Listening Empathic listening (also called active listening or reflective listening) is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. It is an essential skill for third parties and disputants alike, as it enables the listener to receive and accurately interpret the speaker's message, and then provide an appropriate response. The response is an integral part of the listening process and can be critical to the success of a negotiation or mediation. Among its benefits, empathic listening builds trust and respect, enables the disputants to release their emotions, reduces tensions, encourages the surfacing of information, and creates a safe environment that is conducive to collaborative problem solving. Though useful for everyone involved in a conflict, the ability and willingness to listen with empathy is often what sets the mediator apart from others involved in the conflict. "How was I different?" Be attentive.

Active Listening Cooperative learning series What affects listening? Active listening intentionally focuses on who you are listening to, whether in a group or one-on-one, in order to understand what he or she is saying. Described above are the external factors. Prepare with a positive, engaged attitude Focus your attention on the subject Stop all non-relevant activities beforehand to orient yourselfto the speaker or the topic Review mentally what you already know about the subject Organize in advance relevant material in order to develop it further (previous lectures, TV programs, newspaper articles, web sites, prior real life experience, etc.) Actively listen Follow up activities One-to-oneGive the speaker time and space for rest after talkingExpress appreciation for the sharing to build trust and encourage dialogue Check if you have understood Continue dialogue: In a group or audiencegive the speaker space to regroup, to debrief after talking During Q & A If posing a question If making a point

Job Networking Tips: How to Find the Right Job by Building Relationships What is networking? The vast majority of job openings are never advertised; they’re filled by word of mouth. That’s why networking is the best way to find a job. You already know how to network Networking is nothing more than getting to know people. Tapping the hidden job market may take more planning and nerve than searching online, but it’s much more effective. Networking is the best way to find a job because: People do business primarily with people they know and like. Job networking tip 1: You know more people than you think You may think that you don’t know anyone who can help you with your job search. Make a list of the people in your network Your network is bigger than you think it is. Think about people you know from former jobs, high school and college, church, your child’s school, the gym, social media, or your neighborhood. Yes, you do have a job network, and it’s more powerful than you think: It feels good to help others. Job networking tip 2: Reach out to your network

Don’t Get Defensive: Communication Tips for the Vigilant - Mark Goulston by Mark Goulston | 12:00 PM November 15, 2013 When we get defensive, we make it that much harder for our conversational counterparts to hear what we’re saying. We also make it harder to really listen to what *they* have to say. If you get hooked into defensiveness — and most of us do — you probably already know it. Well, I’ll tell you. After someone has said something that causes you to arch your back and want to become defensive: Strike 1 – Think of the first thing you want to say or do and don’t do that. Strike 2 – Think of the second thing you want to say or do and don’t do that, either. Strike 3 – Think of the third thing you want to say or do and then do that. The main reason to stop getting defensive is that it usually triggers the same response in the other person. If you’re struggling with what that non-defensive, non-retaliatory, solution-oriented statement might be, focus on being a “plusser.” One way of plussing is to use the phrase, “Say more about ______.”

Classroom Observation Tips I've been in numerous discussion with Teacher Leaders recently, and come across a common frustration. It seems that no matter how hard they try to convey that they are 'just there to help', there lingers a resistance and trust issue. When I did deeper, I find that the observation process is one of identifying 'good' practices, and sometimes 'bad' practices; or it's one of taking notes on 'what occurred during the observation'. I think that when the process has, in any way, judgment or valuing language involved there will be a defensive resistance. Since this doesn't occur in the Data-Based Observation Method, it's really easy to get past the initial trust concerns - you just have to follow the system and prove that you are not there to hammer them with the data. Key concepts: Don't Praise, Don't Criticize, Don't Provide Solutions! Follow this sequence of interaction: Pre-conference: Centered around determining what data to collect - "What do you want to know about your classroom?".

Make Nurturing Your Network A Daily Habit | Deborah Shane ToolboxDeborah Shane Toolbox | Plug In and Power Up Your Brand! Published with Permission from Andy Robinson, Career Success Blog. All too often I find that my coaching clients, faced with an impending job change — voluntary or involuntary — realize very quickly that their contact network is “stale” and rather shallow. It is MUCH easier to maintain and nourish your network on an ongoing basis rather than play “catch-up” when you find yourself in need of help from others. Your network of business, professional and personal contacts is the most valuable and transportable asset you have….period. Nurture Your Network …. Make a commitment NOW to begin getting your contact network house in order. Assimilate Names. Update Contact Information. Utilize a Contact Management System. “A, B, C” Your Contact List. Initiate Contact with Everyone Within the Next 30 Days. Include your COMPLETE contact information in your email signature block. Maintain Ongoing Contact. Give Something. Project Your Brand in All Communications. Three Final Thoughts:

A scientific guide to saying "no": How to avoid temptation and distraction 2K Flares 2K Flares × Learning how to say no is one of the most useful skills you can develop I found, especially when it comes to living a more productive and healthy life. Saying no to unnecessary commitments can give you the time you need to recover and rejuvenate. Saying no to daily distractions can give you the space you need to focus on what is important to you. And saying no to temptation can help you stay on track and achieve your health goals. In fact not being able to say no, is one of the most biggest downfalls that successful entrepreneurs claim as their own key mistakes. But how do we actually get past the urgencies of everyday life and avoid distraction, so that we can focus the things that are really important to us? It seems like a big task, I wholeheartedly agree. How to Say No: Research Reveals the Best Way In a research study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, 120 students were split into two different groups. Here’s what happened:

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us (9781594484803): Daniel H. Pink Careers at CNIB View in Web Browser /en/about/Careers/_layouts/VisioWebAccess/VisioWebAccess.aspx?listguid={ListId}&itemid={ItemId}&DefaultItemOpen=1 0x0 0x1 FileType vdw Manage Subscriptions /_layouts/images/ReportServer/Manage_Subscription.gif /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/ManageSubscriptions.aspx? 0x80 rdl Manage Data Sources /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/DataSourceList.aspx? 0x20 Manage Shared Datasets /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/DatasetList.aspx? Manage Parameters /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/ParameterList.aspx? 0x4 Manage Processing Options /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/ReportExecution.aspx? Manage Cache Refresh Plans /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/CacheRefreshPlanList.aspx? View Report History /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/ReportHistory.aspx? 0x44 View Dependent Items /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/DependentItems.aspx? rsds Edit Data Source Definition /en/about/Careers/_layouts/ReportServer/SharedDataSource.aspx? smdl Manage Clickthrough Reports

FBI Secrets of Establishing Rapport: Interview with FBI Veteran Robin Dreeke Even if you’re the biggest introvert in the world, Robin Dreeke can get you to talk. As a 15-year FBI veteran and lead trainer for social engineering and interpersonal skills at the agency, Dreeke is a master of establishing rapport with just about anyone, and that includes the IT guy who never looks up from his keyboard. As head of the Behavioral Analysis Program, Dreeke often is asked by companies to help their leaders better communicate with their teams and increase collaboration . Dreeke says he finds the best way to establish rapport with others is by asking himself, “What do I want the other people to tell me or do for me, for the team or for the company?” Then he contemplates this question: “Why should they do it?” “In other words, not why I think they should, but why they think they should. That’s a formula any leader can use and is critical because it’s focused on developing trust, he says. AB: So what’s the fallout from such a strategy? Anita Bruzzese More Posts

Tying Teacher Salaries to Test Scores Doesn't Work The idea of “pay for performance,” which involves supplementing teacher pay or providing bonuses based on student test scores, is one of the latest educational fads to sweep the country. Research and experience, however, indicate that such schemes are more likely to damage our children’s education than to improve it. As one analyst notes, “test-based pay is more useful politically than it is effective educationally.” Performance pay will not improve teaching or learning Research shows that the carrot of higher pay does not lead to better results. Similar studies of teacher merit pay have shown null results in New York City and Chicago. Methods that use test scores to evaluate teachers, including the currently popular “value added” calculations, have also proved highly unreliable. Performance pay will not attract strong teachers Performance pay may in fact drive more talented teachers out of the profession. Performance pay will lead to more standardized testing and test prep References

6 hostage negotiation techniques that will get you what you want How does hostage negotiation get people to change their minds? The Behavioral Change Stairway Model was developed by the FBI’s hostage negotiation unit, and it shows the 5 steps to getting someone else to see your point of view and change what they’re doing. It’s not something that only works with barricaded criminals wielding assault rifles — it applies to most any form of disagreement. There are five steps: Active Listening: Listen to their side and make them aware you’re listening.Empathy: You get an understanding of where they’re coming from and how they feel.Rapport: Empathy is what you feel. Rapport is when they feel it back. The problem is, you’re probably screwing it up. What you’re doing wrong In all likelihood you usually skip the first three steps. And that never works. Saying “Here’s why I’m right and you’re wrong” might be effective if people were fundamentally rational. But they’re not. From my interview with former head of FBI international hostage negotiation, Chris Voss: 1. 2.

Pros and cons of merit pay for teachers: A point-counterpoint look at the issue from one of the leading practitioners of performance-based compensation One working model for merit pay or performance-based compensation for teachers is the Teacher Advancement Program (TAP) launched by the Milken Family Foundation in 1999. A trademark of TAP is that it ties educators’ salaries and bonuses to instructional performance and growth in student achievement. Other features of the model include ongoing professional development as part of the school day, multiple career paths and accountability based on clearly defined, research-based standards. Teacher Merit Pay Pros and Cons – A Comparison To address the controversy around merit pay for teachers, the Milken Family Foundation produced an opinion paper called “The Pros and Cons of Performance-Based Compensation”. “Performance-based compensation will stimulate a market for superior teachers,” write the authors. “The Pros and Cons of Performance-Based Compensation,” by Lewis Solmon and Michael Podgursky, Milken Family Foundation, 2000.

The One Conversational Tool That Will Make You Better At Absolutely Everything Ask yourself: If you could interview like Walter Cronkite, would you get more value from your meetings? Would your mentors become more valuable? Would your chance encounters with executives in elevators and thought leaders in conferences yield action items and relationships? The answer is yes. “As someone who had little to no experience in business--outside of running my own one-man freelancing operation--all that's really saved me (so far) from madness are the skills I used as a journalist,” says Evan Ratliff, who wrote for magazines like The New Yorker before founding his startup, The Atavist. Good questions can move your business, organization, or career forward. The problem is, most of us ask terrible questions. But we don’t have to. The following advice can make you a much better interrogator, not to mention conversationalist: Don’t Ask Multiple-Choice Questions When people are nervous, they tend to ramble, and their questions tend to trail off into series of possible answers.